Quotes Of The Week: Last Week Tonight, Wynonna Earp, Love Island And More

We've got a perfect (albeit temporary) distraction from those looming Sunday Scaries: a fresh batch of Quotes of the Week!

With some version of fall television around the corner, we're recognizing some of the highlights from summer's remaining shows, including broadcast, cable and streaming series alike.

This time around, we've got a joke from The Haves and the Have Nots that really could have gone uncracked, a Love Island contestant in desperate need of a geography lesson, a beloved Muppet character who gets dragged into a Wynonna Earp insult and John Oliver's unexpectedly strong feelings about Netflix's Gilmore Girls revival. (But really, who was Paul?)

Also featured in this week's roundup: double doses of Yellowstone's season finale (read recap) and Lucifer, plus sound bites from Lovecraft Country, Big Brother and more.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"Wait, where are you from?"

"Virginia. Like, Virginia Beach."

"Sorry, I've never met anyone from Virginia, so I'm like, 'Are you people even real?' You guys are, like, all like a simulation!"

Cely seems to be confusing Johnny's home state of Virginia with... Narnia?

"What up, Kermit?!?!"

Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) wonders what the frog is wrong with knife-throwing Nicole

"Welcome to the Sanctuary of the Scorned Woman."

"Oh damn, did J.C. ghost you on Bumble?"

Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) meets a twisted sister

"Do you have any compassion in your body?"

"No, your mother sucked all that out of my body."

"Is that a joke?"

"Of course it is. It's a sexual joke."

Jim (John Schneider), horrifying son Jimmy (Al Calderon) and all of us with his "wit"

"One, who the f—k was Paul? Two, not enough Paris. Three, seriously, who the f—k was Paul? Four, when did both of these women forget how to hold mugs? Five, I'm sorry, Emily says 'bulls—t' and 't-ts' now? Not in my Stars Hollow. And finally, who the absolute f—k was Paul? Hashtag Team Logan for life."

Hmm, we can't quite tell how Oliver feels about Netflix's Gilmore Girls revival (particularly Rory's all too forgettable beau, Paul)

"You know that won't kill me!"

"Yeah, but it makes me feel a lot better."

Michael (Tom Ellis) doesn't fancy being Chloe's (Lauren German) shooting range target

"My slopey-shouldered brother is pulling a prank hardly worthy of Saved by the Bell in order to humiliate me!"

Funnily enough, SBTB's Zack Morris had the ability to "stop time"...

"That's how they win. They want to make us crazy, terrorize us, make us scared. But Letitia f—kin' Lewis don't get scared, do she?"

Uncle George (Courtney B. Vance) gives one heck of a pep talk, despite the group's unnerving stay in the Braithwhite mansion

"That's a really nice picture."

Why would Janelle be upset about getting nominated when it gives her a chance to admire her own Season 22 headshot?

"There's things I do, and then there's things I gotta get done. You don't want to know them. It's not a secret, darlin', it's a favor."

Rip (Cole Hauser), trying to make Beth glad she's marrying the strong, silent type

"Doesn't that f—kin' figure?"

John (Kevin Costner), upon discovering that his cell phone has been shot, too

"Is the loud lady gone? This is the first time in my life I've had to turn down the volume on C-SPAN."