Quotes Of The Week: Ozark, Euphoria, How I Met Your Father, NCIS And More

During the last seven days, we've said goodbye to one gritty drama (come back soon, Yellowjackets!) and welcomed back another (missed ya, Ozark!), and both occasions are commemorated in our latest Quotes of the Week column.

In the list below, we've gathered more than 15 of the small screen's best sound bites from the past week, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.

This time around, in addition to double doses of the aforementioned Showtime and Netflix thrillers, we've got a nightmarish bathroom experience for a How I Met Your Father Brit, some sobering introspection from Euphoria's Maddy, and more colorful insults from Peacemaker (though not hurled by the title character, in this case).

Also featured in this week's roundup: two scenes apiece from The Kings of Napa and Ghosts, plus quotable moments from This Is Us, Pivoting, NCIS (and its Hawai'i spinoff) and more series.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"That was one of the most successful recitals ever."

"Aww."

"In fairness, parents rarely boo their blind children."

Phillip (Christopher Geere) gives Kate (Chrissy Metz) some backhanded praise after a school concert

"There were so many men urinating in there. Just a cacophony of piss!"

British expat Charlie (Tom Ainsley) is stunned by what he witnesses in his first American loo

"I shot your d—k off. For that, I apologize. I went to the drug store to look for a card. No such card exists."

Darlene (Lisa Emery) takes the first step at burying the hatchet with Frank Jr.

"Why would they make DEFCON 1 worse than DEFCON 5?"

The queen of common sense, Ruth (Julia Garner), wisely questions the government's counterintuitive military readiness levels

"How do we access his phone?"

"With CHAD. Cyber Hand Data Recovery Device."

"That doesn't spell—"

"I like the name CHAD."

Ernie's (Jason Antoon) acronym doesn't add up for Kai (Alex Tarrant)

"We're going to need that Bordeaux, after all. We're celebrating."

Jada Jet (Robin Givens), a woman after our own hearts, changing that beer with Diggle to fancy wine after realizing not all hope is lost when it comes to saving Marquis

"I've seen the photo that Ethan posted of the two of you. It's cute as f—k."

"Yeah, Kat, stop flaunting your healthy, non-abusive, wonderful relationship. It's actually triggering."

Maddy (Alexa Demie) is both envious of her friend and exceedingly self-aware about her own messed-up entanglement with Nate

"Embracing your inner Easter egg, I see."

August's pretty-in-pink dress "impresses" Dana (Rance Nix)

"Who died and made her king?"

"Actually, Dad did both, but more like a woke version of Lion King."

Dana (Rance Nix) and Christian (Ashlee Brian) chafe at their sister's rise to power

"Should we be on the meal train?"

"Why? We don't want to have sex with Brian."

"And we're like family! We don't have to do nice stuff like that."

Sarah, Jodie and Amy (Maggie Q, Ginnifer Goodwin and Eliza Coupe, respectively) justify not cooking for their dead friend's widower

"Last question: British or American Office?"

"Well, I thought the British Office was the best. But my accountant assures me that it's the American version."

When it comes to The Office, Ricky Gervais favors whichever version keeps the royalty checks coming

"I cannot believe Elias is back. Till death do us part — it's right in the vows."

Hetty (Rebecca Wisocky) laments the return of her dead husband

"I could be Cameron Diaz and you two could be a couple of Jude Laws."

Overcome by Elias' horny ghost power, The Holiday superfan Sam (Rose McIver) hits on Jay and Kenny

"OK, so that's my turn. Which one of you dumb, sister-f—ing, tiki torch-carrying, Sloth-from-The Goonies-looking pieces of s— wants to go next?"

Adrian (Freddie Stroma) spoils for a jailhouse fight with Auggie's white supremacist buddies

"Van, you believe that Sporty Spice is the most underrated Spice Girl. You believe that Scully is way too good for Mulder. You do not believe in whatever this—"

"Yeah, well, maybe I do."

Taissa (Jasmin Savoy Brown) tries to reason with girlfriend Van (Liv Hewson), who's had a spooky spiritual experience

"It's just like riding a really gross, f—ked-up bike."

Shauna (Melanie Lynskey) assures Natalie that, even though it's been a while, she can still dismember a corpse

"Do they seem weird to you?"

"They work in a windowless room riddled with RF radiation. Weird happens."

McGee (Sean Murray) asks Kasie (Diona Reasonover) about the "Tech Trolls" in the subbasement