Quotes Of The Week: Percy Jackson, End Of An Era, RHOSLC, All's Fair And More

Are we using Quotes of the Week as another excuse to celebrate "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour – The End of an Era"? Guilty as sin!

In addition to Swift's most memorable lines from her latest docuseries, the column below rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days. In it, you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including "The Simpsons," "Percy Jackson and the Olympians," "Abbott Elementary," "IT: Welcome to Derry," and "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City." 

Also featured in this week's roundup: "St. Denis Medical" recounts a date in the most unhinged way, "All's Fair" delivers an iconic read, and "NCIS: Origins" is decidedly unsentimental. Plus, we've got quotable moments from "The Daily Show" and "Late Night With Stephen Colbert." 

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, and Andy Swift)

"Every single one of us has picked professions that, categorically, people, for the majority of the time, they tell you you shouldn't do it. They tell you you should not try to do this. You have to love the thing so much that you override 85 to 95 percent of the advice you are given along the way by, oftentimes, people that you respect, people you trust, people in the field. Everyone in dance, everyone in music, will tell everyone younger, if there's anything else you can do, do that!" 

Taylor Swift delivers a rousing pre-show speech to her team, making us laugh and cry!

"It's basically the same job. I got songs to remember, you got plays to remember."

"You got teammates, I got teammates."

"You've got Coach Reid, I've got... my mom."

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce bond over the similarities between football and pop superstardom

"We broke up."

"What?!"

"Diane got a job in L.A. She asked me to go with her. I said no, 'cause my family's here. She thought I meant Shannon and Kelly, but I was talking about you guys."

"That is the dumbest thing I ever heard."

Lala is not entertaining Gibbs' break-up excuse — even if it's sentimental!

"He never could keep his trident to himself, am I right?"

Dionysus (Jason Mantzoukas) is in stitches upon learning that Poseidon fathered yet another child, while Percy is considerably less amused

"As far as I can see, there is not a maid in this room with a modicum of honor."

Liberty (Naomi Watts) reads her bridesmaids, including one potential maid of honor, for filth... in the most Liberty way possible

"There's one thing Donald Trump won't see his face on anytime soon. That's Time magazine, 'cause they just announced their person of the year, and it isn't him. Instead, it's the other thing that's going to kill us all: The Architects of AI."

"Good Lord, someone could slip on this watery plastic. Or worse, slide!"

We've never wondered how Principal Skinner (Harry Shearer) might react to a Slip 'N Slide, but if we had, this would have been it

"What's the matter? Do I have face... on my face?" 

Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård) terrorizes Ronnie (Amanda Christine) while chewing on human flesh

"Thank god I got the bags under my eyes fixed. I just got the fat pads removed. They take little chopsticks under there and they break the fat up, and smooth it out."

"Angie doing this little diorama has changed the way I look at chopsticks. From now on, every time I eat lo mein, I'm just gonna be thinking about ocular fat pads — and how badly mine are noticeable because I'm not willing to have the surgery!"

And just like that, Bronwyn has made the demonstration even worse by mentioning ocular fat pads!

"So did the night end there, or...?"

"Oh, don't ask me that! [giggles] We might have FK'd."

"Oh, you f***ed?"

"Val! No! Must you take it there? No, we French kissed. FK'd."

"Does anyone call it that?"

"Uh, if you know, you know, Dakota."

Joyce's (Wendi McLendon-Covey) recollection of her date with the hospital's building inspector goes in unexpected directions, as most Joyce anecdotes do

"You think people want to work out in transit at the airport? Everyone at the airport is already exhausted from traveling, all right? We can't even walk to the gate. They had to invent floors that walk for us."

Ronny Chieng comments on Sean Duffy's proposed airport improvements

"It feels like I'm in a Crown Royal bag." 

Gregory (Tyler James Williams) is not a fan of Jacob's very purple holiday decor