Quotes Of The Week: 9-1-1, St. Denis Medical, Chicago P.D., Doc, And More

It's Sunday yet again, so you know what that means: We've got a fresh edition of Quotes of the Week. 

In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including "Beyond the Gates," "9-1-1," "Love Is Blind," "School Spirits," "Abbott Elementary," and "St. Denis Medical."

Also featured in this week's roundup: Harrison Ford accepts a lifetime achievement award, "Family Guy" pokes fun at "Animal Control," and a pair of "Chicago P.D." exes clears the air. Plus, we've got a double dose of "Doc."

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, and Andy Swift.)

"This was the year that Bill learned what true happiness is."

"Aww, well, his first year of true happiness has given him a stroke. I can't wait to see what year two is going to bring!"

As far as anniversary well-wishes go, this is probably the best that Hayley (Marquita Goings) can expect from Dani (Karla Mosley)

"You're a good guy... with a surprisingly muscular build for somebody so lean."

Harry (Elijah M. Cooper) may have accepted that Ravi is dating his sister, but he'll never forget what he walked in on that day

"Maybe they should just tear it down."

You know things are dire when even Principal Hartman (Alex Zahara) thinks it's time for Split River High to call it quits

"When we make a mistake, there's only one thing we can do."

"Lie about it and cover it up?"

Sonya (Anya Banerjee) reminds Richard (Scott Wolf) that his own track record with making mistakes is pretty bad

"Richard will give you the complete record when he's out of surgery. [Sarcastically] It's certainly good to have him back."

"How's that going?"

"I told him that I would nail him to the wall, first mistake he makes."

"Perfect! That's the kind of camaraderie I've been trying to foster here."

Amy (Molly Parker) and Michael (Omar Metwally) are back to their bantering ways

"The squeak was Ron's shoes. The [fart] smell was me. [Smirks] I've always got one in the chamber."

Val (Kaliko Kauahi) pulls a silent-but-deadly prank on Ron, convincing one of his patients that the squeak of Ron's new shoes was actually him passing gas

"Now, just do a lackluster promo for a new Fox show."

"Stick around after the game for an all-new 'Animal Control' on Fox. Why watch limitless free porn on your phone when you can see Joel McHale try to catch a ferret? 'Animal Control.'" 

Meg walks Tom Brady through his NFL commentary at the expense of Joel McHale's latest sitcom

"Do y'all remember when [Bowen Yang] played an actual iceberg on 'SNL'?"

"I mean, not really."

"Yeah, me neither."

Unfortunately, Bowen Yang's memorable 2022 Weekend Update segment made no impression on Connor Storrie or Kathryn Hahn

"It is a little weird to be getting a lifetime achievement award at the half point of my career. It's a little early, isn't it?"

Stick around as long as ya like, Harrison Ford!

"I have ADHD." 

"Gay-DHD?"

"No, straight-DHD."

Dominic (Luke Tennie) sets Jacob (Chris Perfetti), um, straight about his secret — he's not gay, he just has ADHD

"I know your answer, and it doesn't matter to me. I know you don't choose me, and I'm not choosing you either. When we were in the pods, all our stories, all our future plans aligned perfectly. However, once we left the pods, there was no effort. There was no intimacy. There were no questions you had for me. And I felt like as soon as we moved into the apartment, we were roomates. Something always kind of felt off. Your stories were so vivid. They were so detailed. You would say a lot of words, but somehow I just found myself more confused at the end of our conversations ... I used to ignore red flags. I accepted dishonesty, and I spent far too much time waiting for a man to love me that was not my person ... Saying no to you today is a win."

Ashley's altar speech left us speechless!

"Hailey, I stayed to work this case 'cause you were here."

"I came here because you were here. Good luck, Jay. I wish you the best. I always do."

"Hailey, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"All of it. I lost myself here on this team... in this city. And I'm sorry I couldn't find my way back."

Halstead finally fesses up to screwing Upton over