Quotes Of The Week: Shrinking, Scrubs, Elsbeth, Doc, Happy's Place, And More

The weather may be unpredictable these days, but TVLine sure isn't: We're back again with another edition of Quotes of the Week. 

In our list below — which rounds up the best sound bites of the past seven days — you'll find nearly a dozen shows represented, including "9-1-1," "Summer House," "Doc," Happy's Place," "Scrubs," "Shrinking," "Paradise," and "St. Denis Medical."

Also featured in this week's roundup: "Chicago Med" gets poetic, "Best Medicine" fails to read the room, and Kelly Clarkson throws shade on "The Voice." Plus, we've got double doses of "Survivor" and "Rooster."

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Rebecca Luther, Dave Nemetz, Kimberly Roots, Ryan Schwartz, and Andy Swift.)

"Uh, isn't it safer to do a graft? One slip, and he could bleed out in seconds."

"I know. I wrote that chapter in your vascular surgery textbook."

Sonya (Anya Banerjee) learns the hard way that Joan's (Felicity Huffman) instincts shouldn't be questioned during a procedure

"I should probably learn his name."

J.D. (Zach Braff) makes a mental note, knowing what can happen if he gets on the janitor's bad side

"Breakups are hard. My parents got divorced. My dad left my mom for his dental hygienist."

"I'm sorry to hear that — but, to be honest, it sounds like a richly comedic situation."

Kenzie's (JoAnna Garcia Swisher) parents' situation sounds an awful lot like what happened to Cheyenne's parents on "Reba"

"Can you blame me? The eyes of the entire city are on Alec Bloom, and his eyes are on me. And, ooh, he can really wear a suit. [Realizing where she is] Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. I think I need more girlfriends to talk to."

"You do."

Capt. Wagner (Wendell Pierce) would rather not hear Elsbeth (Carrie Preston) gush about her politician boyfriend

"I have always felt the origin of anger in my vagina, and I am surprised it is not mentioned more in literature." 

Our unnamed narrator (Rachel Weisz) wants to be anatomically correct about the source of her rage

"Hey, doc, do you like limericks?"

"I can't say I'm the biggest fan."

"You would like this one. I just gotta remember how it goes. It's got a name in it that rhymes with a lady's private parts."

"Is it Dolores? [Shakes head] Aretha? [Shakes head] Wussy?"

Who needs a thesaurus when you've got Nurse Kacy (Kim Quindlen) at your disposal!

"You can fall in love in the club, there's a song about it."

West hopes life will imitates art when it comes to his late-night flirtation with Ciara

"Oh, come on. You love it, our little will-they-won't-they repartee."

"I definitely don't, and we definitely won't."

Sally (Clea Lewis) can't read the room when it comes to Dr. Martin Best (Josh Charles)

"Stephenie is my No. 1, and if you know something about me, the only person that can turn and vote out my No. 1 is me!"

An odd declaration to make, but one that could only be uttered by Q Burdette

"It's like when strangers come to your house. Sometimes you ain't feeling in the mood for company, right? [Like,] 'Oh, I just stopped by to bring you some...' and you gotta be like, 'Oh, great, thank you!' and inside you're like, 'I didn't want nobody to come over. I didn't need what you have. I didn't ask for it.' So I'm kinda feeling like, oh hell!" 

Cirie Fields tells us how she really feels about Season 50's first tribe swap

"We questioned nine locals from that diner. What they recall is you and your 'friend,' Mr. Buckley..."

"We call him Buck."

"Cute. My wife calls me Woody."

Even a random New Mexico sheriff (Chris Bauer) can see how perfect Eddie (Ryan Guzman) and Buck are for each other, so why can't they?

"Joyce, did you do a beauty thing to your face recently?"

"Well, if you must know, I did do a little bleaching. Why?"

"'Cause you're, like... glowing."

"Oh, no! Oh, no. Oh, I look like a Lorax!"

Joyce (Wendi McLendon-Covey) is horrified to discover what her bleached upper lip looks like under a laser tag blacklight

"So Louis, how has life been now that you're hot?"

"I mean, pretty good, actually. You'll be proud of me. I learned how to make a drinkable cup of coffee. And I got promoted at work. And I have started seeing someone." 

"Be funny if I killed her! I don't know why I said that. That was... probably some leftover... anyway, that's great!" 

Jimmy (Jason Segel) attempts to make a joke to the man who killed his wife, but quickly realizes it's way too dark

"I write books that you're supposed to read at the beach. They are light, they are fun... characters that you like have sex, and the ones you don't get shot in the face. At a stuffy college like this, these kids aren't looking for fun, they're looking for depth."

"I teach a class about the poetry of Bad Bunny. You'll be fine."

Dylan (Danielle Deadwyler) assures Greg (Steve Carell) he has nothing to worry about ahead of his speaking engagement

"The worst part is everybody keeps asking me what happened. I don't know what happened. We were normal, and then the next thing I know, he's with her, and I'm packing up and moving into the dead hockey coach's house."

"How did the hockey coach die?"

"I think he killed himself because his father was focusing on the wrong part of the story."

Greg (Steve Carell) gets sidetracked while Katie (Charly Clive) vents about her breakup

"I'm like Blake Shelton, but better."

"The bar was low."

We expect Blake Shelton to catch strays from Adam Levine on this show, but we didn't see Kelly Clarkson joining in

"Where'd you get the baby?"

"Long story."

"What's her name?"

"Annie's baby."

Xavier (Sterling K. Brown) isn't interested in making friends, or sharing any extraneous information, with Gary (Cameron Britton)