Quotes Of The Week For June 17, 2018

THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON

"This was my first and last Tonight Show appearance. No, it's fine. I'll go on Seth, I don't give a f—k."

Saturday Night Live's Pete Davidson has no chill after Fallon tells him he can't keep dropping F-bombs during his interview

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

"Who knew conservatives were so sensitive about the C-word? I should make a note of that."

BROCKMIRE

"We can't expect me to stay sober in a place this depressing."

Jules (Amanda Peet) defends her drinking at Jim's sober living facility

THE DAILY SHOW WITH TREVOR NOAH

"When they released the text, they spelled — and this is completely true — they spelled 'separation' wrong. Guys, this is America. Speak English!"

THE BACHELORETTE

"I talk to God every day, and people that go against me just end up hurt sometimes."

Jordan, suggesting it was divine intervention that caused nemesis David to fall out of his bunk bed and break his nose

POSE

"If there isn't a part of the game where you pee every time you sneeze and every so-called friend disappoints you, it's a fraud."

Bobbi (Christine Ebersole), upon overhearing her son-in-law explain to his kids the rules of Life

ELEMENTARY

"For you, Watson... I'd make adjustments. Always."

Sherlock (Jonny Lee Miller) makes a surprisingly sweet declaration after Joan wonders how he'd adapt to her bringing an adopted baby into their home

THE MTV MOVIE & TV AWARDS

"I'm shocked that I won this award for Best Villain. I thought for sure Roseanne had that in the bag, ya know?"

Michael B. Jordan aka Black Panther's Killmonger takes a swipe at the disgraced former sitcom star

SUPERGIRL

"Nice one, Mom!"

Kara (Melissa Benoist) is impressed by Alura's first crack at flapping and zapping

AFI LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: A TRIBUTE TO GEORGE CLOONEY (Bonus Quote!)

"Without us, you're Chicago Hope, buddy."

Courteney Cox (and Jennifer Aniston) joke that ER lead-in Friends is responsible for Clooney's success

AFI LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: A TRIBUTE TO GEORGE CLOONEY

"He once filled Bill Murray's luggage with gravel. He filled Chris O'Donnell's car with popcorn. Maybe the best prank of all happened when he was back on Roseanne: He convinced her to open a Twitter account."

Jimmy Kimmel roasts — er, toasts Clooney

12 MONKEYS

"We need more time. We gotta stop that bomb."

"Uh, you want to save Hitler?! That's the opposite of what you do with a time machine."

As Jennifer (Emily Hampshire) points out, Cole's (Aaron Stanford) plan to stop an explosion and snatch a Nazi bell has some unintended consequences

THE AFFAIR

"It says I'm a half-mile away, but it's going to take 40 f—king minutes."

Noah's (Dominic West) still getting accustomed to L.A. traffic

WORLD OF DANCE

"I will just say, costume-wise? A little busy."

"I don't know how you could ever be too much on stage."

No stranger to on-stage excess, J.Lo fails to see Derek's point

MARVEL'S LUKE CAGE

"Just because you a woke superhero don't mean you gotta be a broke superhero."

Bobby (Ron Cephas Jones) reminds Luke that bills need to be paid in Episode 1

MARVEL'S LUKE CAGE (Bonus Quote!)

"If you're gonna fight crime, have you considered wearing a mask?"

"I'm six-three, black and bulletproof. You really thinking wearing a Lone Ranger mask is going to keep people from figuring out who I am?"

In Episode 5, Luke (Mike Colter) dismisses Foggy Nelson's idea on how to fly under the radar while fighting crime