Quotes Of The Week For June 23, 2019

BIG LITTLE LIES

"You think because of this whole bankruptcy thing that the school thinks I don't matter? Please. I will be rich again. I will rise up. I will buy a f—king polar bear for every kid in this school!"

Angry mom Renata (Laura Dern) is a one-woman solution to climate change

GRAND HOTEL

"You ever get a glimpse of Javi? You know, a peek under the towel?"

"Let me put it this way: Javi may have lost a leg, but he was born with three."

No one objectifies amputees like the ladies of the Riviera Grand

ANIMAL KINGDOM

"Are you a virgin, Josh?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm asking you if you've had sex before, because if the answer's yes, I truly don't know how that happened."

Olivia (Kelli Berglund), marveling at the fact that all J (Finn Cole) apparently wants to do on their study date is... study

YOUNGER

"I swear, the only thing white women love more than Pinterest is murder."

Maggie (Debi Mazar) raises a valid point about true-crime podcasts

LEGION

"You read my mind?"

"No secrets. That's one of our rules."

"What about trust?"

"Mmmm... I tried that. It's better to read people's minds."

Switch (Lauren Tsai) learns how the hippie commune run by David (Dan Stevens) really works

THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW

"I say we are attempting to put [the Democratic presidential debate] on television because it is exactly as hard as you might expect to prepare for this kind of debate. There is a reason you don't put 10 people on stage at once unless they are dancing in a coordinated fashion."

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"Tonight's Democratic debate featured some questions sent in by viewers, which explains why Rachel Maddow asked Cory Booker, 'WHY ISN'T CHICAGO MED ON?'"

BIG BROTHER

"He looks like Jason Mimosa! [beat] Hold on. Did I say that right?"

Kathryn is immediately smitten with fellow houseguest Jack — even if she's not totally sure which celebrity he resembles

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)

"During tonight's debate, each candidate was asked which country they would most want to repair relationships with. Kirsten Gillibrand chose Iran, while Marianne Williamson chose Narnia."

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

"I'm sorry that the media is tired of talking about how the president 'did sexual assault' a bunch, but imagine how tired women are of having a sexual assaulter for president. Of course, it's impossible to hear accusation after accusation without getting accustomed to it. That's no one's fault and I'm not singling anyone out — but when you let him off with softball questions about where he's going to build his library without once mentioning his many accusers, you are dropping the ball, Chuck Todd! No one should ever sit down with President Predator without asking about these 22 women... It matters. It will never stop mattering. You wouldn't interview Jeffrey Dahmer and only ask him about spice blends. If you're not going to hold Trump accountable, you are not a journalist. Go do Sunday morning segments about f–king lasagna, otherwise do your job — please."

YELLOWSTONE

"You the teacher's aide?"

"No, I'm the teacher."

"I saw this video on Pornhub, and this is exactly how it starts!"

"Misogyny — how refreshing! If you can work in a Pocahontas joke, you'll hit the trifecta."

Monica (Kelsey Chow) probably won't be making Trent (Adam Call) teacher's pet

GOOD TROUBLE (Bonus Quote!)

"Are you drunk?"

"Yeah."

"I like you better this way."

"Thank you?"

Aww, look at Davia (Emma Hunton) and Callie (Maia Mitchell) bonding!

GOOD TROUBLE

"Pink lemonade mimosa?"

"Is there a raise in there?"

Rachel (Maisie Klompus) and the ladies of Speckulate do not approve of the company's Women's Day efforts

IZOMBIE

"Your ex is such a pig. You def traded up. Rav is the bomb. Like, part Prinze Jr., part Van Der Beek — but with a beard."

Liv (Rose McIver) channels a '90s teen beauty queen while talking to Peyton

PRESS YOUR LUCK

"Pizza for Life is still up there..."

Elizabeth Banks puts the best possible spin on a player's Whammy'd $48,000

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (Episode 6)

"Aaron has to go visit a dying boy, so I'll make this quick: No more f—king. Each other."

Lorraine (Julie White) makes sure that Emily and Aaron's one-night-stand is just that

DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (Episode 7)

"The FBI considers the matter closed."

"Oh, you can't be surprised by that. Their operational budget has a line item for bows! [Sheepishly, off Director Lewis' non-reaction] They... like to tie up their cases with them."

Hannah's (Maggie Q) jokes, unlike her bullets, miss the target

DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, NIGHT 2

"I'm going to harness love for political purposes; I will meet you on that field and, sir, love will win."

Hey, whatever might get the job done, Marianne Williamson

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"We must continue to pose as enthused observers until the way is clear." 

"Come on. Take the prize. Yes. Woo-hoo." 

There will be no Performer of the Week award for casino patron Jemma (Elizabeth Henstridge)

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY

"When in Rome, do as in Rome!"

Sure, Ramona Singer, that's totally how the old saying goes

DOUBLE SHOT AT LOVE

"I'm so much hotter than her, and so much nicer than her. Does any of this make sense to anyone?"

Derynn may not have won Pauly D's heart, but she won the episode with this exit line