Quotes Of The Week For July 8, 2018

THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT

"All 12 Thai boys and their soccer coach have been rescued... It's a great story that gives everyone hope — and reminds us of the importance of permission slips to field trips to flooded caves."

SUCCESSION

"I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins."

Stewy (Arian Moayed), "reassuring" Kendall that... well, someone has his support in the battle for control of Waystar Royco

THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW

"Sometimes, I read the news, and I think I might be dead and I've gone to hell, and this is what the news is like in hell."

NASHVILLE

"Have you ever heard the expression, 'Don't poke the bear?'"

"Have you ever heard the expression, 'Don't threaten Juliette Barnes?'"

"Yeah, once or twice."

The Movement for Coherent Philosophy controversy isn't the first press debacle Glenn (Ed Amatrudo) has seen while in Juliette's (Hayden Panettiere) employ

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

"Netflix led everyone with 112 [Emmy] nominations — which seems like a lot, but you have to remember that Netflix has more than 2,000 shows. What's really impressive is our network, ABC, got 31 nominations with almost no popular shows. We had one, and we cancelled it!"

SIX

"The prince's men say a beautiful woman will be with fighting men. A vedma, they say."

"And what's that?"

"Witch."

"Yeah, that's pretty close."

[Bear, to Gina] "Vedma?"

"Beautiful witch. He did say 'beautiful.'"

A Russian go-between welcomes Bear (Barry Sloane) and Gina (Olivia Munn)

MATCH GAME

"That is awful. And correct."

Amy Sedaris' low blow at the expense of Bill Clinton gets Ellie Kemper's vote

TKO: TOTAL KNOCK OUT

"Which zone, Tracey, do you feel gave you the most trouble?"

"Those balls are deep! I felt surrounded by balls, and I was a little uncomfortable."

"All right, Tracey — this is CBS, I don't know if we can say how deep the balls were."

Host Kevin Hart surely thanks Tracey for such a set-up line

FLORIBAMA SHORE

"I'm going thottin', plottin' and trottin'. Ho life or no life."

It sounds like Aimee is ready for another classy, sophisticated summer in Panama City Beach

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY

"Are there clothes in the oven? What in the Carrie Bradshaw is happening?"

Tinsley's friend Michael has understandable questions about her SATC-style storage solutions

SHOOTER

"Thank you for the clothes. I will mail them back to you once I've washed the fear out of them."

Harris (Jesse Bradford) at least thinks he has concluded his perilous adventures with Bob Lee

YOUNGER

"Ooh, how's the mascara?"

"It tastes like burnt ass."

It's safe to assume Kelsey (Hilary Duff) is not a fan of the edible makeup that Lauren is promoting

CLAWS

"I used to have it all. Power, money, a wife and a live-in boy toy. Now look at me. Might as well be a fart in a fan factory."

A despondent Uncle Daddy (Dean Norris) is surprisingly eloquent about his current downward spiral

THE BREAK WITH MICHELLE WOLF

"What do people want out of a candidate? With Hillary, it was, 'She's too old! She has too much experience! And too many people hate her!' And now we have the exact opposite [with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez], and they're like, 'No! Not that either!' You know, guys, maybe your problem isn't the candidate, but something else. There must be some elusive other quality they both have. I don't know what it is. I... I... I can't quite put my p—y on it."