Quotes Of The Week — July 6, 2014

THE WENDY WILLIAMS SHOW

"You gold-digging hookers, you!"

Wendy, jokingly chastising her audience for changing their minds about the attractiveness of Sofia Vergara's ex-boyfriend Nick Loeb — after her side note that he is worth $15 million

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

"Well, clearly the whole blonde thing is really getting to her."

Vincent (Jay Ryan), surmising that Cat's stint in a blonde wig has compromised her judgment

24: LIVE ANOTHER DAY

"Just so we're clear — I wasn't asking. That was me being courteous."

Jack (Kiefer Sutherland), clarifying the situation after Ritter "agrees" to let him interrogate Navarro

HOLLYWOOD EXES

"Do not ask me what I think about Brian's song. C'mon — 'Adore'? 'Purple Rain'? Ask Sheree — [her ex] Will Smith did 'Summertime.' Ask her, don't ask me! Eddie Murphy did 'Party All the Time.' Ask [his ex] Nicole!"

Mayte, declining comment about the extremely dubious song written and performed by the groom at the wedding of R. Kelly's ex-wife Andrea, particularly in comparison to the work of her own ex-husband Prince

LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER

"And Taco Bell I'm presuming is Hindu, because you know there's no f—king beef in those things.'"

John Oliver, speculating on which religion corporations would choose, should they be allowed the same religious rights as people

MISTRESSES

"Your idea of edgy is wearing a wife-beater to lunch — with a blazer!"

Joss (Jes Macallan), expressing shock over her lawyer sister Savi getting a neck tattoo

FALLING SKIES

"Stop talking like a damn fortune cookie!"

Ben (Connor Jessup), reaching his limit with hybrid sister Lexi's mystical mumbo-jumbo

FOOD NETWORK STAR

"Let's do it!"

"We did do it, Christopher! You need to do it!"

Judge Giada De Laurentiis, reminding contestant Christopher that only he — and not herself and fellow judges Alton Brown and Bobby Flay — needs to prove the ability to connect with a live audience

SALEM

"Living in Salem and not believing in witches is like living in London and not believing in fog."

Anne (Tazmin Merchant), justifying her sudden interest in the occult

UNDATEABLE

"It's very common. There's a medical term for it!"

"Is the term 'horrifying'...?"

Leslie (Bianca Kajich), trying to shrug off Danny's reveal that she was born with a "thick black coat of hair all over her body" — but Shelly (Ron Funches) isn't buying it

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

"I kind of have a massive girl-crush on you now. Could we maybe do a pas de troix? I don't know if that works, or if I'd be any good, but I'd love it."

Host Cat Deeley, gushing over dancers Jacque and Jourdan, after they performed an impressive pas de deux

UNDER THE DOME

"What the hell are you supposed to be? The Ghost of Christmas Future?"

Big Jim (Dean Norris), responding to a visit from yet another dead neighbor in the form of Linda (Natalie Martinez)

THE BACHELORETTE

"I don't fear many things, I don't, other than pickles. I have nightmares about pickles chasing me."

Brian Osborne, revealing a phobia with which Freud would have a field day

BIG BROTHER

"At first I'm wondering why the Bomb Squad wants a little girl. Like, 'Oh, this is awesome!' Then I watch the Power of Veto, and I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, they literally just need a person with a brain.'"

Christine, assessing the male members of her "Bomb Squad" alliance, who failed to spell simple words correctly in the Power of Veto competition

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