Curb Your Enthusiasm: Larry's Worst Moments
curb-your-enthusiasm-denise-handicap
5. Ran up a flight of stairs to avoid his two handicapped girlfriends (Season 7, "Denise Handicap")
How did Larry handle being confronted about romancing two wheelchair-using women at the same time? By cowardly climbing a flight of stairs to escape their wrath, of course. (Larry gets extra demerits here for — sigh — wheeling one of the women into a closet to hide her from the other.)
curb-your-enthusiasm-larry-vs-michael-j-fox
7. Accused Michael J. Fox of playing up his Parkinson's (Season 8, "Larry vs. Michael J. Fox")
Who could possibly pick a fight with a national treasure like Michael J. Fox? Yep, you guessed it. Larry accused Fox of intentionally shaking up a soda before handing it to him, which Fox blamed on his Parkinson's. Larry suspected he was faking, which led to an escalating back-and-forth that ended with Mayor Bloomberg kicking Larry out of New York City — which, fair enough.
curb-your-enthusiasm-shaq
11. Tripped Shaquille O'Neal (Season 2, "Shaq")
Granted, this was an accident, but an unforgivably careless one that made Larry a pariah in L.A.: While sitting courtside at a Lakers game, Larry stretched his legs out and tripped star player Shaquille O'Neal, injuring him and endangering the Lakers' championship hopes. Are we sure this admitted Knicks fan wasn't pulling off a deliberate sabotage?
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-5-wood
4. Stole a golf club from a dead man's coffin (Season 4, "The 5 Wood")
Again, with Larry, there's always an explanation: He thought it was his club, placed there by a vindictive golf pro. But that doesn't really make Larry's literal grave-robbing any more admirable.
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-bare-midriff
10. Urinated on a picture of Jesus (Season 7, "The Bare Midriff")
OK, OK, this sounds a lot worse than it was: While relieving himself at the house of his assistant's mother, Larry lost control of his, um, stream and ended up splashing urine on a nearby painting of the Messiah. And then the mother saw the single "tear" on Jesus' face and called it a miracle... Of all the many blasphemous acts committed by Larry, this was the most hilariously outrageous.
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-bowtie
12. Used the handicap bathroom stall (Season 5, "The Bowtie")
This was really a minor transgression for Larry — he's done much worse — but instead of just apologizing and moving on, he bickered with the disabled man who called him out, and later faked a severe stutter to try to gain access to another handicap stall. It's not unfair to label Larry socially handicapped, is it?
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-group
8. Pretended to be an incest survivor (Season 1, "The Group")
Larry would probably say he was just trying to go with the flow when he lied to a support group of incest survivors that he, too, was molested by his Uncle Leo. A harmless white lie, perhaps... until a member of the support group confronted Larry's unsuspecting Uncle Leo about the "abuse." Hoo boy.
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-ida-funkhouser-roadside-memorial
2. Stole flowers from a roadside memorial (Season 6, "The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial")
This was a triple-decker violation: Larry not only snatched flowers from a memorial to Marty Funkhouser's beloved mom in order to grease the wheels with a school dean — he later went back to take more flowers for Cheryl and Loretta. Then he ended up swiping a bottle of Ida's perfume to give to Cheryl. Is nothing sacred?!
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-seder
9. Brought a sex offender to Seder (Season 5, "The Seder")
This was one of those "Larry tries to do something nice that goes horribly wrong" situations, but he really should've checked with Cheryl before inviting their new neighbor — an admitted sex offender played by Rob Corddry — to share the Passover tradition of Seder with them. To be fair, the guy did bring latkes!
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-therapists
3. Let his therapist get arrested for a fake mugging (Season 6, "The Therapists")
To win Cheryl back, Larry attempted to get on her therapist's good side by rescuing her from a mugger... played by his therapist. Unfortunately, cops spotted the staged crime and arrested Larry's therapist — and Larry, not wanting to spoil the ruse, said nothing while an innocent man was cuffed and jailed. All to make Larry look like he's not the jerk that he so clearly is.
curb-your-enthusiasm-the-tivo-guy
1. Ignored Cheryl's dying words because the TiVo guy was there (Season 6, "The TiVo Guy")
This one was so awful, it led to the dissolution of Larry's marriage to Cheryl: When Cheryl's plane was crashing and she thought she was about to die, she called Larry to pass along her final wishes... but he kept interrupting with questions from the TiVo guy, finally hanging up on her. This wasn't the only reason Cheryl left him, but it really was the final nail in a very securely nailed coffin.
curb-your-enthusiasm-vow-of-silence
6. Ate a dog's final meal (Season 8, "Vow of Silence")
Larry and Jeff knew full well the Pinkberry frozen yogurt they bought was for Jeff's dying dog Oscar... and they ate it anyway. (Why not just buy more, Larry? You're rich!) Then they lied to Susie and told her the Pinkberry was closed! Poor Oscar.