Dancing With The Stars: Our Fantasy (Ringer-Free) Cast For Season 18

By Michael Slezak Feb. 28, 2014 8:33 pm EST

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Gus Kenworthy U.S. Slopestyle Silver Medalist Admit it: You've wanted him back on your TV screen ever since he came back from Sochi, Russia with a quartet of adorable puppies. Why not put his athleticism to the test in a completely different kind of athletic arena?

Gus Kenworthy

U.S. Slopestyle Silver Medalist

Admit it: You've wanted him back on your TV screen ever since he came back from Sochi, Russia with a quartet of adorable puppies. Why not put his athleticism to the test in a completely different kind of athletic arena?

DWTS-Naomi-Campbell

Naomi Campbell Supermodel She knows how to walk -- w.a.l.k, walk, honey! -- but can she dance? And hold the phone -- no, seriously, hold onto it -- can you imagine the drama if she got paired with Maks? Make it happen, reality TV gods!

Naomi Campbell

Supermodel

She knows how to walk — w.a.l.k, walk, honey! — but can she dance? And hold the phone — no, seriously, hold onto it — can you imagine the drama if she got paired with Maks? Make it happen, reality TV gods!

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Simon Cowell Former American Idol/The X Factor Judge OK, so The X Factor didn't really catch on in the U.S. But since you know the cranky Brit's ego won't allow a full-fledged retreat back across the pond, what better place to begin a comeback than a competing network's biggest reality hit? Plus, watching Simon get judged -- instead of doing the judging -- would be delish.

Simon Cowell

Former American Idol/The X Factor Judge

OK, so The X Factor didn't really catch on in the U.S. But since you know the cranky Brit's ego won't allow a full-fledged retreat back across the pond, what better place to begin a comeback than a competing network's biggest reality hit? Plus, watching Simon get judged — instead of doing the judging — would be delish.

DWTS-Chris-Evert

Chris Evert Tennis Legend One of the greatest -- and most graceful -- athletes ever to grace the planet. Surely, there's a plethora of "Advantage, Ms. Evert" puns for Bruno and Carrie Ann to share!

Chris Evert

Tennis Legend

One of the greatest — and most graceful — athletes ever to grace the planet. Surely, there's a plethora of "Advantage, Ms. Evert" puns for Bruno and Carrie Ann to share!

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 4 Premiere Party

RuPaul Living Legend/Host of RuPaul's Drag Race The drag superstar might have an edge over most of the guys by virtue of his comfort level with sequins, fringe and feathers. But at 53 (!) Ru could hardly be considered a ringer for the title.

RuPaul

Living Legend/Host of RuPaul's Drag Race

The drag superstar might have an edge over most of the guys by virtue of his comfort level with sequins, fringe and feathers. But at 53 (!) Ru could hardly be considered a ringer for the title.

FNS7 Episode 8 Cupcake Camera Challenge

Ina Garten Food Network's Barefoot Contessa Just like butter, Ina makes everything more delicious, sophisticated and decadent. Yes, America, it's time to turn up the volume on flavor -- DWTS flavor, to be exact.

Ina Garten

Food Network's Barefoot Contessa

Just like butter, Ina makes everything more delicious, sophisticated and decadent. Yes, America, it's time to turn up the volume on flavor — DWTS flavor, to be exact.

CHRIS HARRISON

Chris Harrison Host of The Bachelor Most of America wants Juan Pablo to crawl back under a rock (where he can whisper "it's OK" to himself) after ABC's reality dating competition wraps in a couple weeks. But that got us thinking: Why not give the show's longstanding emcee a little something to do to bridge the gap till summer's precious jewel Bachelor Pad comes back. (Yes, we refuse to believe it won't happen!)

Chris Harrison

Host of The Bachelor

Most of America wants Juan Pablo to crawl back under a rock (where he can whisper "it's OK" to himself) after ABC's reality dating competition wraps in a couple weeks. But that got us thinking: Why not give the show's longstanding emcee a little something to do to bridge the gap till summer's precious jewel Bachelor Pad comes back. (Yes, we refuse to believe it won't happen!)

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Michelle Williams Destiny's Child Grad Sure, she was part of a singing/dancing girl group, but she also face-planted mid-performance of "Soldier" during BET's <I>106th and Park</i> (and was generally relegated to the far-left corner of any choreographed numbers starring Beyoncé and Kelly). So the question remains, "Michelle, can you handle it?"

Michelle Williams

Destiny's Child Grad

Sure, she was part of a singing/dancing girl group, but she also face-planted mid-performance of "Soldier" during BET's 106th and Park (and was generally relegated to the far-left corner of any choreographed numbers starring Beyoncé and Kelly). So the question remains, "Michelle, can you handle it?"

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Andy Pettitte Former New York Yankees Pitcher Adorable southern fella proved the limberness of his arms over 18 seasons of Major League Baseball, but what about the rest of his booty body?

Andy Pettitte

Former New York Yankees Pitcher

Adorable southern fella proved the limberness of his arms over 18 seasons of Major League Baseball, but what about the rest of his ~~booty~~ body?

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Chantal Sutherland Professional Jockey DWTS is in a bit of a rut with its constant focus on former NFL stars and Olympians. Why not shake it up by raiding another sport -- horse racing -- and casting one of its toughest, California-based competitors? Sutherland's comfy in front of a camera, too: She was part of the cast of HBO's ill-fated Luck.

Chantal Sutherland

Professional Jockey

DWTS is in a bit of a rut with its constant focus on former NFL stars and Olympians. Why not shake it up by raiding another sport — horse racing — and casting one of its toughest, California-based competitors? Sutherland's comfy in front of a camera, too: She was part of the cast of HBO's ill-fated Luck.

MARK CONSUELOS

Mark Consuelos All My Children Star/TV Personality Kelly Ripa's hubby raised his acting profile with a role on Amazon's Alpha House, but his general-purpose charm as a talk-show host and guest would likely catapult him to fan-fave status -- as long as he doesn't prove to have two left feet.

Mark Consuelos

All My Children Star/TV Personality

Kelly Ripa's hubby raised his acting profile with a role on Amazon's Alpha House, but his general-purpose charm as a talk-show host and guest would likely catapult him to fan-fave status — as long as he doesn't prove to have two left feet.

JENNY MCCARTHY

Jenny McCarthy The View host/Societal scourge Because every season needs someone to root against.

Jenny McCarthy

The View host/Societal scourge

Because every season needs someone to root against.

dwts-lady-miss-kier

Lady Miss Kier Lead Singer, Deee-Lite She's going to dance/ She's going to dance/ She's going to dance/ And have some fun. Putting it another way: The depth of hula groove/ Moves us to the Nth hoop/ We’re gonna groove 'til/ Horton hears a who!

Lady Miss Kier

Lead Singer, Deee-Lite

She's going to dance/ She's going to dance/ She's going to dance/ And have some fun. Putting it another way: The depth of hula groove/ Moves us to the Nth hoop/ We're gonna groove 'til/ Horton hears a who!