Quotes Of The Week For Aug. 7, 2016

"Right now, they're working on a sponsored post for Showtime which is called 'Six Things to Look Forward To on Showtime This Year.'"

"They found six things?"

"Yeah, apparently Ray Donovan is getting a new hat!"

Julie (Julie Klausner) and her new boss (Abby Elliott) marvel at the apparent strengths of the premium cable network

"OK. Let's do [normal]. Why can't we do that?"

"Because you were yelling at me to go faster while you ate chocolate and salami."

After hearing Gareth (Aaron Tveit) describe his first sexual encounter with Laurel (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), it's no wonder he doesn't want to pursue a relationship with her

"Have you been to Finland? It's like an empty parking lot with snow!"

Red (Tony Shalhoub) is appalled when Ella suggests mimicking Finland's economic model

"What exactly do you want from me?"

"Before I tell you, I want you to keep reminding yourself that this is simple. Your gut instinct is going to be screaming a big 'f— no,' and I need you to suppress that instinct and remind yourself that this is simple."

"If this little preface was supposed to inspire confidence, you're failing miserably."

Darlene (Carly Chaikin) wonders if Angela (Portia Doubleday) can "hack" this favor

"You're an opera lover?"

"Second only to the ballet."

"Then I suggest we start with a marriage — I mean, a tour."

Louis (Rick Hoffman) is completely smitten with the firm's new architect (Carly Pope)

"Honestly, the main takeaway from these two weeks is that, incredibly, we may be on the brink of electing such a damaged, sociopathic narcissist that the simple presidential duty of comforting the families of fallen soldiers may actually be beyond his capabilities. And I genuinely did not think that was a part of the job that someone could be bad at. And now, this."

Concluding his piece on the Democratic National Convention, John Oliver marvels at Donald Trump's inability to sympathize with the parents of a fallen Iraq War soldier

"And you made a baby cry."

Tulip (Ruth Negga), getting in one last dig at "God" before giving up her tirade

"I feel like they're turned on by each other's chaos. That can't pan out for love, right? Am I crazy? Is that love? Am I doing it all wrong?"

Carly, trying to make sense of Chad and Lace and, in a way, life

"God always works—"

"If you say 'mysterious ways,' I will punch you in the face."

Even with her time away from the team, Jamie (Kristen Connolly) apparently didn't miss Abraham's sage sound bites

"Why are you being such a bitch?"

"Because bitches get things done."

Mariana (Cierra Ramirez) has been watching Saturday Night Live

"The Olympic torch arrived in Rio today in preparation for Friday's opening ceremony. And the cool thing about Rio is, if the torch runs out of fuel, you can just dip it in the ocean and it'll reignite."

"Oh, and you have creepy f—king eyebrows."

A crestfallen Sarah (Britt Lower) flings one last insult at Alex before leaving his house

"Retire...? I... I plan to die face-down at my desk."

Provenza (G.W. Bailey) doesn't understand Patrice's use of the R-word

"It's not every day you get to punch the Devil in the face."

Reverend Anderson (Philip Glenister), explaining why, though he knew Sidney was baiting him, he still couldn't resist taking a swing

"Don't say good night. Just disappear, like elegant people do."

Luann, as her engagement party is winding down