Quotes Of The Week For July 17, 2016

"What you're doing here, Darlene. What you're saying.... I mean, you sounded like George W. Bush, for crying out loud."

"First of all, that's low..."

Mobley (Azhar Khan) did NOT just call Darlene (Carly Chaikin) the B-word

"Is it cool if we continue to talk?"

"No, thanks."

"Damn, man.... That's some cold, brutal s—t right there. I'm gonna have to listen to some Adele on repeat when I go back home."

Ray (Craig Robinson) gets brushed off by Elliot (Rami Malek)

"I am directing an episode of The Blacklist, which is a dream come true... of my agent's, and so I really need James Spader to cry on the steps of your brownstone."

Tina Fey, scouting out a location for the NBC drama to shoot at, makes quite the pitch to Marilyn

"Are you a king?"

"No, I'm just not an idiot. What the hell have you been doing with your money?"

Harvey (Gabriel Macht) is flabbergasted by Louis' (Rick Hoffman) net worth

"Stephanie, how did you meet your husband?"

"I met my husband when we were in third grade... Now we're married for nine years, with four kids."

"I remember when my wife was in the third grade. I was 34 years old."

Age is but a number for host Alec Baldwin

"Remember the old dude from the casino? He just told me that he and your mom are dating. He came in today complaining of chest pains and it's because his nitro patch fell off. It must have rubbed off while he and your mom were doing it."

"No, stop. That's way too much for me to take in right now."

T.C. (Eoin Macken) teaches Topher (Ken Leung) the facts of (his mom's) life

"Spoiler alert: I'm not wise old me, am I? And if I'm being frank, my daughters are a—holes. Knife fights, ridiculous eyeshadow and serious, serious mommy issues. And the worst part is, you're all I have to look forward to in my retirement. So much for backgammon and Palm Springs."

Jennifer (Emily Hampshire) is not a fan of her future self's army of "daughters"

"I understand, you can't help your behavior. You're like a feral cat... who's also drunk."

Evelyn (Rebecca Wisocky), assuring Gail that she harbors no hard feelings toward her

"She was a medical professional. I'm sure she viewed my body in a purely clinical way."

"It's not how she viewed your body I was talking about."

Hodgins (TJ Thyne) and Angela (Michaela Conlin) discuss his hot, 26-year-old physical therapist

"I was kind of hoping you would wear them to bed... I was hoping you'd wear them and nothing else."

Brennan (Emily Deschanel) definitely approves of Booth's new glasses

"What were you doing tonight?"

"Burying a body."

So... who wants to tell Marco (Nicholas Gonzalez) that Spencer's (Troian Bellisario) flirty response was actually an on-the-sly confession?

"I'm evolving."

"Well, yeah. But not in the good way."

Oz (James Wolk) is fated to be more Ugly Man than X-Man

"I want to be comfortable in my middle age."

"Don't cling to the word 'middle' so hard."

Provenza (GW Bailey) knows better than anyone that Andy (Tony Denison) is no spring chicken

"The [regional] leaders smell blood in the water..."

"What do you want to give them?"

"Nothing. Except maybe my middle finger."

President Michener (Mark Moses) won't be bullied into bailing on his post-outbreak domestic agenda

"I'm not God. I'm not judging any of this, and I don't have any answers. All I do know is that if you plant an apple tree, don't be surprised if apples grow on it."

Hanna (Crystal R. Fox), "comforting" Katheryn after her son's death