Quotes Of The Week For August 31, 2014

By Michael Slezak Aug. 31, 2014 3:06 pm EST

True-Blood-Lesbian-Now-Quote

<H2>TRUE BLOOD</H2> "So you're just going to be a lesbian now?" A skeptical Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten), responding to Sarah's (Anna Camp) request that she turn her into her vampire progeny

TRUE BLOOD

"So you're just going to be a lesbian now?"

A skeptical Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten), responding to Sarah's (Anna Camp) request that she turn her into her vampire progeny

mistresses-april-fbi-not-dead-ex-husband-quote

<H2>MISTRESSES</H2> "I wish I could go with you, but I have to go back to the FBI office tomorrow so I can help my not-married ex-boyfriend find my not-dead ex-husband who currently works for some drug-dealing overlord." "It's insane you don't keep alcohol here. Seriously." April's (Rochelle Aytes) excuse for not going to the doctor's office with Karen prompts a totally reasonable observation from Joss (Jes Macallan)

MISTRESSES

"I wish I could go with you, but I have to go back to the FBI office tomorrow so I can help my not-married ex-boyfriend find my not-dead ex-husband who currently works for some drug-dealing overlord."

"It's insane you don't keep alcohol here. Seriously."

April's (Rochelle Aytes) excuse for not going to the doctor's office with Karen prompts a totally reasonable observation from Joss (Jes Macallan)

sytycd-jesse-tyler-ferguson-hey-ricky-quote

<H2>SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE</H2> "Hey Ricky/ You're so great/ If you were older/ We could date/ Hey Ricky!" Judge Jesse Tyler Ferguson, putting a twist on Toni Basil's '80s hit "Mickey" to praise irresistible finalist Ricky Ubeda

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

"Hey Ricky/ You're so great/ If you were older/ We could date/ Hey Ricky!"

Judge Jesse Tyler Ferguson, putting a twist on Toni Basil's '80s hit "Mickey" to praise irresistible finalist Ricky Ubeda

masters-of-sex-quote-auspicious

<H2>MASTERS OF SEX</H2> "Hardly an auspicious beginning." "Does ‘auspicious’ mean ‘Hello to you, too’?" Bill (Michael Sheen), making up for lost sniping when new secretary Betty (Annaleigh Ashford) arrives late for her first day of work

MASTERS OF SEX

"Hardly an auspicious beginning."

"Does 'auspicious' mean 'Hello to you, too'?"

Bill (Michael Sheen), making up for lost sniping when new secretary Betty (Annaleigh Ashford) arrives late for her first day of work

the-strain-gus-six-foot-frog-tongue-quote

<H2>THE STRAIN</H2> "He had a six-foot frog tongue!" Gus (Miguel Gomez), trying to describe one of the virus' victims to a skeptical cop

THE STRAIN

"He had a six-foot frog tongue!"

Gus (Miguel Gomez), trying to describe one of the virus' victims to a skeptical cop

RIZZOLI-ISLES-HALF-BAKED-QUOTE

<H2>RIZZOLI & ISLES</H2> "The upper body is badly decomposed due to extreme heat, and the lower extremities are well-preserved..." "So, he's half baked." ‎Not even a heat wave can cool down the banter between Maura (Sasha Alexander) and Jane (Angie Harmon)

RIZZOLI & ISLES

"The upper body is badly decomposed due to extreme heat, and the lower extremities are well-preserved..."

"So, he's half baked."

‎Not even a heat wave can cool down the banter between Maura (Sasha Alexander) and Jane (Angie Harmon)

project-runway-tim-gunn-dita-von-teese-getting-married-quote

PROJECT RUNWAY "It's not every day that I get to walk a fashion icon down the aisle." "Well, Tim and I are not getting married today. But wouldn't that be fun?" "Actually, it would wake my mother from the dead, to be perfectly honest." Tim Gunn and burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, teasing each other before announcing the contestants' next challenge

PROJECT RUNWAY

"It's not every day that I get to walk a fashion icon down the aisle."
"Well, Tim and I are not getting married today. But wouldn't that be fun?"
"Actually, it would wake my mother from the dead, to be perfectly honest."
Tim Gunn and burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, teasing each other before announcing the contestants' next challenge

general-hospital-quote-ned-aunt-monica

GENERAL HOSPITAL "What about you? What did you do for fun when you were young?" "My Aunt Monica." Onetime boy toy Ned (Wally Kurth), being perhaps a little too forthcoming with date Olivia (Lisa LoCicero)

GENERAL HOSPITAL

"What about you? What did you do for fun when you were young?"
"My Aunt Monica."
Onetime boy toy Ned (Wally Kurth), being perhaps a little too forthcoming with date Olivia (Lisa LoCicero)

sarah-silverman-emmys-boob-maya-angelou-quote

<H2>66th ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS RED-CARPET COVERAGE ON E!</H2> "'They're the lowest they've ever been and the highest they're ever gonna be.' —Maya Angelou!" Sarah Silverman, waxing poetic about the position of her décolletage (and goofily attributing her comment to the late, great poet), leaving E! host Guliana Rancic slightly flummoxed in the process

66th ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS RED-CARPET COVERAGE ON E!

"'They're the lowest they've ever been and the highest they're ever gonna be.' —Maya Angelou!"

Sarah Silverman, waxing poetic about the position of her décolletage (and goofily attributing her comment to the late, great poet), leaving E! host Guliana Rancic slightly flummoxed in the process

Lena-Dunham-blonde-hair-quote

<H2>66th ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS RED-CARPET COVERAGE ON E! (Bonus Quote!)</H2> "A paparazzi followed me through LAX the other day asking how I felt about the 'speculation' that my hair is a wig. It was the biggest scandal I've ever been embroiled in." Lena Dunham, discussing her new peroxide-blonde hair color

66th ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS RED-CARPET COVERAGE ON E! (Bonus Quote!)

"A paparazzi followed me through LAX the other day asking how I felt about the 'speculation' that my hair is a wig. It was the biggest scandal I've ever been embroiled in."

Lena Dunham, discussing her new peroxide-blonde hair color

bachelor-in-paradise-michelle-money-not-a-doctor

<H2>BACHELOR IN PARADISE</H2> "It might not be a good sign to start off a relationship when you're feeling physically ill about the choices that you're making. That's just me. I'm not a doctor, though." The always quotable Michelle Money, weighing in on Graham's physical illness before accepting a rose from the domineering AshLee

BACHELOR IN PARADISE

"It might not be a good sign to start off a relationship when you're feeling physically ill about the choices that you're making. That's just me. I'm not a doctor, though."

The always quotable Michelle Money, weighing in on Graham's physical illness before accepting a rose from the domineering AshLee

bachelor-in-paradise

<H2>BACHELOR IN PARADISE (Bonus Quote!)</H2> "Kalon finally found someone to go out with him on his date, and it's someone he's very fond of." Sarah, after learning that the narcissistic D-bag would be going on a “one-on-none” date

BACHELOR IN PARADISE (Bonus Quote!)

"Kalon finally found someone to go out with him on his date, and it's someone he's very fond of."

Sarah, after learning that the narcissistic D-bag would be going on a "one-on-none" date

covert-affairs-spy-blush-quote

<H2>COVERT AFFAIRS</H2> "This place is amazing -- plenty of cover, great sight lines to the access road, acres of trees to disappear in...." "You sure know how to make a spy blush." Annie (Piper Perabo), going on and on about Ryan's (Nic Bishop) choice of rendezvous spot

COVERT AFFAIRS

"This place is amazing — plenty of cover, great sight lines to the access road, acres of trees to disappear in...."

"You sure know how to make a spy blush."

Annie (Piper Perabo), going on and on about Ryan's (Nic Bishop) choice of rendezvous spot

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<H2>AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL</H2> "I love him. He's Nordic. He's American. He's Texan. He's gay. He's straight. Everyone's gonna love him." Judge Kelly Cutrone, summing up contestant Will's attributes

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

"I love him. He's Nordic. He's American. He's Texan. He's gay. He's straight. Everyone's gonna love him."

Judge Kelly Cutrone, summing up contestant Will's attributes

findingcarter

<H2>FINDING CARTER</H2> "This is your first time. You should have a lamp." Max (Alex Saxon), offering to run to the hardware store, after Taylor (Anna Jacoby-Heron) stops their you-know-what to ask if they can turn on his (broken) lamp on so she can see him

FINDING CARTER

"This is your first time. You should have a lamp."

Max (Alex Saxon), offering to run to the hardware store, after Taylor (Anna Jacoby-Heron) stops their you-know-what to ask if they can turn on his (broken) lamp on so she can see him

QOTW_Defiance

DEFIANCE‎"You know what I'll miss most about Defiance?""The hot lady mayor?" "You have the weirdest taste." "I'm a manifestation of your subconscious thoughts and desi--" "You can stop talking now!"Lev (Hannah Cheesmanm) blurts some insight into Yewll's (Trenna Keating) thoughts about Amanda

DEFIANCE

‎"You know what I'll miss most about Defiance?"

"The hot lady mayor?"

"You have the weirdest taste."

"I'm a manifestation of your subconscious thoughts and desi–"

"You can stop talking now!"

Lev (Hannah Cheesmanm) blurts some insight into Yewll's (Trenna Keating) thoughts about Amanda