Quotes Of The Week For Oct. 6, 2019

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Oct. 6 through Oct. 12, 2019. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

HAWAII FIVE-0

"You look different, Jerry. Ah — you shaved your beard!"

Lou (Chi McBride) gets a familiar earful of conspiracy theories from Adam

SUPERNATURAL

"You have newspapers in Hell?"

"Yeah, the Wi-Fi sucks."

Dean (Jensen Ackles) gets the lowdown on Hell's communication services from the demon Belphegor (Alex Calvert)

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THE GOOD PLACE

"I've never seen Chidi like that. He was 'chillaxing.' Which is a word I just invented combining 'Chidi' and 'relaxing.'"

Michael (Ted Danson) is quite the wordsmith, isn't he?

SUCCESSION

"If I were to give Tom a letter grade, it'd be 'B+' — for 'bad plus terrible.'"

Frank (Peter Friedman) grades Tom's testimony on a very unique curve

SUCCESSION (Bonus Quote!)

"Can I ask — not to make this all about us — but are they going to shoot us at any point?"

Roman (Kieran Culkin) asks Eduard for some particulars about the hostage situation

STUMPTOWN

"His alibi is that he was at his bar the night of the murder."

"Oh — what's the bar?"

"The Bad Alibi."

"That is an unfortunate name."

Miles (Michael Ealy) updates Cosgrove (Camryn Manheim) on how Grey is looking for a murder

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

"California has passed a new law that will allow college athletes to earn money from the use of their name and likeness. This is great news for top California college athletes like Aunt Becky's daughter."

TITANS

"Who's my other dad?"

"His name is Lex Luthor. He's very smart, and... well, he's very smart."

Conner (Joshua Orpin) has questions that Eve (Genevieve Angelson) isn't ready to answer in full just yet

DYNASTY

"Save it, Cristal. You've already apologized twice. You think the third time's the charm?"

"...I hope so."

This quick exchange between Fallon (Elizabeth Gillies) and Cristal (Daniella Alonso) was the perfect way of acknowledging that Alonso is, in fact, the show's third actress to play Cristal

LEGACIES

"There's this sexy Swedish guy whose session is after mine on Tuesdays. I think he's Swedish, maybe Polish. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He's hot and crazy, and the language barrier will make it impossible for us to communicate — just how I like it."

Is it any wonder why Lizzie (Jenny Boyd) is spending most of her summer in therapy?

MOM

"If I do a good job, maybe she hires me when I graduate. Before you know it, I'm a judge, and then eventually a Supreme Court justice. They seem OK with alcoholics now, so I could actually have a shot!"

If Brett Kavanaugh can make it to the Supreme Court, so can Christy (Anna Faris)!

YOUNG SHELDON

"Mom! Meemaw swatted me on the bottom!"

"What? Why?"

"I wanted something and she said no, and then I called her selfish, and then she went crazy!"

"Let me call her."

"Really? You don't want to thank her in person?"

Missy (Raegan Revord) thinks Mary (Zoe Perry) owes Meemaw a "thank you" for disciplining Sheldon (Iain Armitage)

GREENLEAF

"'It's a Boy'?"

"Well, I asked if they had any 'It's a man that your sister kept secret for 25 years,' but they were out."

Charity (Deborah Joy Winans) "welcomes" her grown nephew to the family with a balloon chosen to irk Grace (Merle Dandridge)

THE VOICE

"You don't have to hope that I'll get on Google and type in the words 'country songs' and try to help you connect with a genre."

Blake Shelton, making a case for why he'd be a better coach for a country singer than John Legend

THE WALKING DEAD

"Not bad — you sign with a Southern accent."

Connie (Lauren Ridloff), appraising Daryl's progress at learning sign language

THE WALKING DEAD (Bonus Quote!)

"Sorry if I didn't want my best friend to spend her whole life on a boat."

"Best friend? What are you, 10?... Should we have matching bracelets now?"

"Oh my God, forget it."

"No, I could make some, with fisherman's twine. Decorate 'em. They'd be really cute with tiny little seashells."

"Oh my God, I take it back."

Daryl (Norman Reedus) instantly regrets calling Carol (Melissa McBride) his BFF

THE GOOD DOCTOR

"Can't you just pull him out gently? I'll sign a waiver."

"The pull-out method never works."

Morgan (Fiona Gubelmann) is oblivious to her double entendre when she explains to Seamus (Robert Sean Leonard) why they can't just pull a fish's bill out of his leg

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER

"We eliminate possession of a deadly weapon."

"The police said they found a knife on Brandi."

"The knife was a nail file. There's no crime in stayin' flossy."

Asher (Matt McGorry) has a very Asher-like suggestion for getting one of Michaela's client's charges dropped

THE RESIDENT

"Come on, Pravesh. I need a living patient. I cannot operate on dead people. [beat] I suppose I could, but why bother?"

The Raptor (Malcolm-Jamal Warner) would really appreciate it if Devon could revive his next patient before surgery

SUPERGIRL

"...Pants!"

The only thing better than Supergirl's new suit is Kara's (Melisa Benoist) reaction to it