Quotes Of The Week For Aug. 26, 2018

ELLEN

"Now let's get drinking, because that's what we used to do when we were 16."

Tiffani Thiessen is eager to get to the cocktail segment with former Saved by the Bell costar Mario Lopez

CONAN

"In a new interview, John Goodman suggested that in the spinoff show The Conners, Roseanne's character will be dead. So finally, a funeral Trump will be allowed to attend."

BACHELOR IN PARADISE

"I've given everyone a fair chance. I've kissed everyone here, I think."

Chelsea is plain puckered out!

SHARP OBJECTS

"Don't tell Mama."

Amma's (Eliza Scanlen) reaction to Camille's discovery about her dollhouse is positively chilling

YOUNGER

"Well, she really wants a baby, and I'm... really high on a weeknight — and happy that way."

Maggie (Debi Mazar) and her girlfriend might not be the most compatible co-parents

INSECURE

"I remember when I was 10, my mom took me to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo. I still don't know what a Mambazo is, but... it was dope."

Issa (Issa Rae), reflecting on the impression music made on her at an early age

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

"All my life, people like you been using stalls made for people like me. I never asked the question, but I'm-a ask it now: Why?"

"I'm gonna be honest: It always seemed like a little apartment."

Wendell (Daryl Mitchell), demanding at gunpoint that Morgan (Lennie James) reveal why he'd chosen to take a dump in a stall meant for wheelchair users

BIG BROTHER 20

"Uh, yeah, I think she wants to date you afterwards."

Julie Chen makes an astute observation about the Faysal-Haleigh romance after seeing Haleigh's teary goodbye message to her in-house beau

POWER

"Rest in peace, you tough bastard."

Tommy (Joseph Sikora) says goodbye to Kanan

WYNONNA EARP (Bonus Quote!)

"How are you not bombed...? You weigh, like, eight pounds."

"I like you."

That revenant knows just what to say to single mom Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano)

SALVATION

"We're doing everything we can to find him... Mr. President."

"Why does it always sound ironic when you say that?"

Don't worry, Dari—... er, Mr. President (Santiago Cabrera) — we notice it, too!

SHOOTER

"Does your new band of mercenaries have a name yet? Because The A-Team is taken."

Harris (Jesse Bradford) cannot believe that Isaac and Nadine are putting stranded Atlas agents to work

KILLJOYS

"At our current rate of speed, it is likely you will turn into a stream of subatomic particles."

"Well, it could be worse."

"Unlikely. Theoretically it does not get worse than dying in a black hole."

"It's always fun flying with you, Lucy."

Lucy (voiced by Tamsen McDonough) drops a "hole" lot of truth on Johnny (Aaraon Ashmore) and Dutch (Hannah John-Kamens)

WYNONNA EARP

"...I will also pre-order a dozen of your calendars."

"I'm April this year."

"Happy Easter to me."

Nicole (Katherine Barrell) doesn't have the heart to tell a  fireman he's climbing up to the wrong window