Arrow: Felicity Smoak's Best Quotes

"I know who you are. You're Mr. Queen."
"Noooo. Mr. Queen was my father."
"Right. But he's dead. I mean, he drowned. And you didn't. Which means you can come down to the IT department and listen to me babble. Which will end in 3... 2... 1..."
Felicity goes off on a ramble during her first meeting with Oliver

"Felicity, you're remarkable."
"Thank you for remarking on it."
Felicity expresses some clever wordplay after Oliver compliments her

"My only encounter with drugs was with a pot brownie my freshman year. By mistake! Which could have been fun, except I'm allergic to nuts."
In sum: Felicity won't be trying Vertigo

"I just hacked a federal agency. Kind of makes me a cyber-terrorist, which is bad because I really don't see myself fitting in well at Guantanamo Bay."
"Don't worry, Felicity. They don't send blondes there."
"I dye it, actually. [beat] I keep your secret!"
Felicity confesses her deep dark roots to Oliver

"It feels really good having you inside me. And by 'you,' I mean your voice. And by 'me,' I mean my ear. I'm going to stop talking. Right now."
Felicity lets a sexual innuendo slip while Oliver is listening in on comms

"Felicity, hold onto me tight."
"I imagined you saying that under different circumstances. [pause] Very platonic circumstances."
Felicity reveals a hidden fantasy perhaps as she and Oliver prepare to swing across an elevator shaft

"The last time the vigilante paid your mom a visit, you got shot, and I got to play doctor with you. Ahh! My brain thinks of the worst way to say things."
'Nuff said

"Could you at least pretend like you're glad to see us? Dig and I have spent weeks tracking you down, we've traveled halfway across the world and this morning we flew in a plane so old, I'm pretty sure I was safer once I jumped out of it. You could at least offer us a water. Or a coconut!"
Felicity tracks down Oliver on the island

"I kept that. I liked watching you do that."
Felicity expresses her appreciation for Oliver's salmon ladder

"Over 64 million woman over consent in Russia and you sleep with her."
"So we're not doing the 'What happens in Russia stays in Russia?'"
"We're still in Russia."
Felicity lays the smackdown on Oliver after he has sex with Isabel

"We all need to have secret identities now. If I'm going to be Oliver Queen, CEO, then I can't very well travel down 18 floors every time you and I need to discuss how we spend our nights."
"And I love spending the night with you! 3... 2... 1..."
Oliver and Felicity discuss their nighttime activities

"What's the League of Assassins? And please, don't say it's a league made up of assassins."
Felicity, about to be disappointed

"Police reports show that he uses carbon arrows, but if he switched to an aluminum carbon composite, he would have far better penetration."
"Maybe he thinks he penetrates just fine?"
Barry Allen and Felicity discussing the vigilante's... arrows

"How many women were you marooned with? Sure this wasn't Fantasy Island?"
Felicity grilling Oliver on his castaway past

"I'm sorry."
"Were you apologizing to me, or were you talking to your quiver?"
Oliver aiming a mea culpa at Felicity, having jealously snapped at her earlier

"I finally have a guy who's interested in me and he's struck by lightning, ends up in a coma. Typical."
Felicity laments the sad state of her love life

"I'm just used to being your girl. I mean not your girl girl. Your girl. I know it sounds like the same word, but...it means something different in my head."
Felicity after she confesses to feeling left out of Team Arrow

"Or as I like to call her, 'Oliver's Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Hellbent on Revenge Against Her Father.'"
Felicity giving Sara the 411 on Helena

"Anyone with boobs can get a frat boy to do anything."
"I was a frat boy."
"I rest my case."
Felicity and Oliver discuss Helena's exploits

"That's just swell. Barry's in a coma and he's already moved on."
Felicity learns that Barry has been getting frequent visits from Iris

"I told a guy the truth, and he got struck by lightning. To be fair, it probably won't happen again. Statistically."
Felicity chiming in on Oliver's advice to Roy

"Bitch!"
"Bitch... with wi-fi."
Tablet-toting Felicity qualifying an "interrogation" subject's name-calling

"But I do know two things: You are not alone. And I believe in you."
Felicity gets serious with a discouraged Oliver

"I'm Nyssa, daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Heir to the demon."
"Felicity Smoak. MIT class of '09."
Felicity trades credentials with the lady assassin who has entered Team Arrow's secret lair

"The booze might sort of help with the whole–"
"The alcohol is not going to mix well with the three Benzos I took."
Oliver wonders if some liquor might soothe Felicity's first-date jitters

"Am I being crazy? I mean, what do we have to be nervous about?"
"Well, we've already exhausted every topic that one would normally talk about on a first date. And a second date. And a third date. And every date, actually, and I've already seen you shirtless. Multiple times. Shirtless, all the time."
Felicity's been enjoying the view well before her first date with Oliver

"My friends just had a baby, so if you don't mind, there's another slimy, little human that needs my attention."
Felicity dismissing Ray Palmer after he used her to steal Oliver's company

"That is a Cobalt-encrypted workstation — you better not be using it to tweet."
Felicity doesn't like Roy's mitts on her toys

"It took me a week to get a hit off that print. I had to reconstruct the partial using a predictive indexing algorithm — appropriate, since it was his index finger. [Oliver glares] Not particularly relevant now."
Felicity realizes that Oliver is not in a word-playing mood

"I want to see it. And by it, I mean your speed. In case you thought I was talking about something else. Which I wasn't."
Felicity is hot to see Barry's... moves on The Flash

"I'm sorry that I don't dress like a porn star — which I realize is a compliment to you!"
Felicity lists her many shortcomings, at least as perceived by her flashy mother

"Oh God. I have a type."
Felicity experiences deja view upon finding shirtless Ray working out on a salmon ladder

"Seeing is believing. Or drooling. [Laughs]"
Felicity makes fun of Dig's dumfounded reaction to Barry's super speed

"What's that [salmon ladder] for?"
[Dreamy sigh] "Distracting me from work."
While Cisco oohs and ahhs over Oliver's gizmos, Caitlin takes notice of Felicity's favorite "toy"

"Why does this keep happening to me?"
Felicity is invited by Ray to help, you know, save Starling City

"I don't want to be a woman that you love."
Felicity, usually handy with the quippy zingers, socks us (and Oliver) in the gut with a sad one

"Great — we can add irony to the list of charges against Brick."
Felicity learns that Brick's gang is holed up at the Glades' police precinct

"You're cute. It's too bad you're, you know, dead. Which is obviously a lot worse for you than it is for me. [Sighs deeply] I really need to learn to stop talking to myself."
During a flashback scene, Felicity chats with a photo of a presumed dead Oliver

"John might have told me about your employment offer from Evil Incorporated. He also might have told me that you may be considering it, which is, by the way, insane. It's the League of Assassins — that is not the name of a nice group."
Felicity can't believe Oliver is seriously mulling Ra's al Ghul's offer to replace him

"So that means a pass on becoming the most handsome Demon's Head ever?"
Felicity after Oliver remembers his purpose as Starling City's vigilante

"You're always saying how you just want me to be happy. The thing is, as along as you're in my life, I am."
Felicity makes an emotional confession to Oliver that doesn't crush anyone's soul

"All I did was stick something in you. [beat] Do you think there will ever come a time when everything I say isn't some weird double entendre?"
Felicity just being Felicity after injecting Ray with a needle full of nanobytes

"What is wrong with me? He's brilliant. He knows the plot to every Doctor Who episode, all 34 seasons, he looks like a Disney prince. He's practically the perfect man."
Felicity wonders why she can't reciprocate Ray's declaration of love

"Thank you, but I can't quite seem to keep it up."
"He means the suit."
"Yeah, I mean the suit."
"Yeah, I can attest that everything else works just fine. There's nothing we need to fix in that area."
Ray and Felicity overshare

"It's kind of like I'm dating Barry, but in Oliver's body. A sentence you'll never repeat to anyone."
Felicity perhaps says too much when describing her boyfriend Ray

"Boom! Drop the mic. It's metaphorical, of course, because I don't have a real mic."
Felicity celebrates her victory over her hacker nemesis

"OK, even if a magic hot tub were not crazy talk, we're not going to let you go join the League of Psychotic Murderers, even if it is to save Thea."
Felicity calls the Lazarus Pit what it really is

"You opened up my heart in a way I didn't even know was possible. I love you."
Felicity says those three magic words to Oliver for the first time

"Roy's alive. We faked his death. It's a long story, as most fake death stories are. We were going to tell you, I promise, but then you were busy being mostly dead, and then Oliver signed on to become Darth Oliver."
Felicity reflects with Thea on the strange turn of events in Team Arrow's lives

"Don't fight to die. Fight to live."
Felicity gives Oliver a much-needed pep talk

"If I could figure out how to get this thing off, I would be kissing you right now."
Felicity saves Oliver's life — but doesn't quite get the hero's "thank you" because of the Atom suit