Golden Globes 2014: The Best & Wildest Moments

By Michael Slezak

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-1 Best Accessory: Human Amy Poehler getting a backrub from U2's Bono while her name was announced as a nominee for Best Actress in a Comedy Series -- and then scoring a faux makeout session after she won!

Best Accessory: Human

Amy Poehler getting a backrub from U2's Bono while her name was announced as a nominee for Best Actress in a Comedy Series — and then scoring a faux makeout session after she won!

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-2 Best Accessory: Inanimate (tie) Best Screenplay presenter Emma Thompson (brandishing a full martini) had us howling as she lifted her Louboutins and huffed, "I just want you to know this red [on the soles] is my blood." She scored a second big laugh when, faced with the envelope containing the winner's name, she hurled said heels over her shoulder to free up one of her hands.

Best Accessory: Inanimate (tie)

Best Screenplay presenter Emma Thompson (brandishing a full martini) had us howling as she lifted her Louboutins and huffed, "I just want you to know this red [on the soles] is my blood." She scored a second big laugh when, faced with the envelope containing the winner's name, she hurled said heels over her shoulder to free up one of her hands.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-3 Best Accessory: Inanimate (tie) Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey razzed dual nominee Julia Louis-Dreyfus for sitting in the movies section early in the show (where she was "caught" on camera with an e-cigarette) and later, for sneaking back to the TV tables (where she scarfed down a loaded hot dog with mock horror).

Best Accessory: Inanimate (tie)

Hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey razzed dual nominee Julia Louis-Dreyfus for sitting in the movies section early in the show (where she was "caught" on camera with an e-cigarette) and later, for sneaking back to the TV tables (where she scarfed down a loaded hot dog with mock horror).

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-4 Most Scathingly Funny The hosting duo was on fire during the opening monologue, but Fey's zinger about one of the Best Motion Picture Drama nominees landed hardest (and funniest) of all: "Gravity is nominated for best film: It’s the story about how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."

Most Scathingly Funny

The hosting duo was on fire during the opening monologue, but Fey's zinger about one of the Best Motion Picture Drama nominees landed hardest (and funniest) of all: "Gravity is nominated for best film: It's the story about how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-5 Best Sport "It's me, the garbage man -- the garbage man who didn't bring his glasses. Fantastic!" groaned Matt Damon, as he introduced Captain Phillips -- and harkened back to the hosts' joke that in the A-list crowd assembled for the 2014 Globes, he was merely “a garbage person."

Best Sport

"It's me, the garbage man — the garbage man who didn't bring his glasses. Fantastic!" groaned Matt Damon, as he introduced Captain Phillips — and harkened back to the hosts' joke that in the A-list crowd assembled for the 2014 Globes, he was merely "a garbage person."

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-6 Most Charmingly Honest Admission: Female "I actually did watch all the movies this year -- not all of them, but you know what I mean!" said a giddy Jennifer Lawrence, accepting the trophy for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. "And so I can say that the women this year, it's such an honor to be nominated with you."

Most Charmingly Honest Admission: Female

"I actually did watch all the movies this year — not all of them, but you know what I mean!" said a giddy Jennifer Lawrence, accepting the trophy for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. "And so I can say that the women this year, it's such an honor to be nominated with you."

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-7 Most Charmingly Honest Admission: Male Accepting Brooklyn Nine-Nine's statuette as Best Comedy Series, showrunner Daniel J. Goor noted he'd once considered med school, but that his freshman series' victory was "way better than saving a human life!"

Most Charmingly Honest Admission: Male

Accepting Brooklyn Nine-Nine's statuette as Best Comedy Series, showrunner Daniel J. Goor noted he'd once considered med school, but that his freshman series' victory was "way better than saving a human life!"

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-8 Unlikeliest Reunion "He was on a boat with me, partying in St. Barts, and now here we are together!" said presenter P. Diddy, who seemed momentarily shocked when he recognized winner Alex Ebert (All Is Lost) taking the stage. Ebert, similarly bemused, added to the tale, noting, "He came up from behind me, unbuttoned my jacket, and said, 'Let it flow!' It was impressive."

Unlikeliest Reunion

"He was on a boat with me, partying in St. Barts, and now here we are together!" said presenter P. Diddy, who seemed momentarily shocked when he recognized winner Alex Ebert (All Is Lost) taking the stage. Ebert, similarly bemused, added to the tale, noting, "He came up from behind me, unbuttoned my jacket, and said, 'Let it flow!' It was impressive."

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-9 Best Upgrade of a Globes Tradition Poehler played the role of Randy, Fey's "adult son from a previous relationship," to add some goofy humor to the introduction of 2014's Miss Golden Globes (Sosie Bacon, daughter of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon). "Your name is Sosie? What are you, the Olympics?" wondered the dim young man, before strolling up to Idris Elba and wondering if he might be his long lost father.

Best Upgrade of a Globes Tradition

Poehler played the role of Randy, Fey's "adult son from a previous relationship," to add some goofy humor to the introduction of 2014's Miss Golden Globes (Sosie Bacon, daughter of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon). "Your name is Sosie? What are you, the Olympics?" wondered the dim young man, before strolling up to Idris Elba and wondering if he might be his long lost father.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-10 Most Committed Presenter The banter about Melissa McCarthy's head injury leading her to believe she was, in fact, Matt Damon was a little underbaked, but the Mike and Molly star dug so deeply into the setup that it proved much more amusing than it should've. Heck, when Michael Douglas thanked the actual actor later in the show, he enthusiastically pointed to McCarthy and mouthed, "It's her! She's Matt Damon!"

Most Committed Presenter

The banter about Melissa McCarthy's head injury leading her to believe she was, in fact, Matt Damon was a little underbaked, but the Mike and Molly star dug so deeply into the setup that it proved much more amusing than it should've. Heck, when Michael Douglas thanked the actual actor later in the show, he enthusiastically pointed to McCarthy and mouthed, "It's her! She's Matt Damon!"

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-11 "50 Points from Gryffindor!" Gasp! Was that Hermione Granger gulping wine going into commercial break? (We kid! We kid! Actress Emma Watson is 23 -- and she's entitled to drink something stronger than Butterbeer if she prefers!)

"50 Points from Gryffindor!"

Gasp! Was that Hermione Granger gulping wine going into commercial break? (We kid! We kid! Actress Emma Watson is 23 — and she's entitled to drink something stronger than Butterbeer if she prefers!)

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-12 Most Surprised Winner: Male Andy Samberg was among several winners to declare he hadn't prepared a speech -- but the Best Actor in a Comedy Series winner for Fox's Brooklyn Nine-Nine looked so absolutely gobsmacked by his good fortune, we didn't doubt his word for even a second.

Most Surprised Winner: Male

Andy Samberg was among several winners to declare he hadn't prepared a speech — but the Best Actor in a Comedy Series winner for Fox's Brooklyn Nine-Nine looked so absolutely gobsmacked by his good fortune, we didn't doubt his word for even a second.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-13 Most Surprised Winner: Female Raise your hand if you even know what Dancing on the Edge is. Now keep your hand up if you thought Jacqueline Bisset would trump the likes of buzzy Hayden Panettiere or the highly deserving Monica Potter in the Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Miniseries or Movie race. Bisset herself said she was caught quite off guard, as if her aimless acceptance speech left any doubt.

Most Surprised Winner: Female

Raise your hand if you even know what Dancing on the Edge is. Now keep your hand up if you thought Jacqueline Bisset would trump the likes of buzzy Hayden Panettiere or the highly deserving Monica Potter in the Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series, Miniseries or Movie race. Bisset herself said she was caught quite off guard, as if her aimless acceptance speech left any doubt.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-14 Best Profanity After Breaking Bad's Vince Gilligan thanked the show's "early adapters" for keeping the AMC drama alive despite "very little viewership" in Season 1, he asked star Aaron Paul (waiting slyly in the background) to finish his acceptance speech for Best Drama Series. You knew what was coming: Jesse Pinkman's signature, "Yeah, bitch!" followed by a heartfelt, "Thank you!"

Best Profanity

After Breaking Bad's Vince Gilligan thanked the show's "early adapters" for keeping the AMC drama alive despite "very little viewership" in Season 1, he asked star Aaron Paul (waiting slyly in the background) to finish his acceptance speech for Best Drama Series. You knew what was coming: Jesse Pinkman's signature, "Yeah, bitch!" followed by a heartfelt, "Thank you!"

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-15 Most Helpful Cast Director Steve McQueen was so stunned by 12 Years a Slave's victory as Best Motion Picture Drama that he actually apologized to the people he knew he was forgetting. "Hit me with names!" he begged, before stars Sarah Paulson and Michael Fassbender (among others) pitched in with some brainstorming help.

Most Helpful Cast

Director Steve McQueen was so stunned by 12 Years a Slave's victory as Best Motion Picture Drama that he actually apologized to the people he knew he was forgetting. "Hit me with names!" he begged, before stars Sarah Paulson and Michael Fassbender (among others) pitched in with some brainstorming help.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-16 Funniest Question "I just wondered," asked Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama winner Cate Blanchett, as the orchestra tried to play her off, "can people at home hear this music, or do they suddenly just think that you're getting really fast because you're having a panic attack -- which I'm probably having!"

Funniest Question

"I just wondered," asked Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama winner Cate Blanchett, as the orchestra tried to play her off, "can people at home hear this music, or do they suddenly just think that you're getting really fast because you're having a panic attack — which I'm probably having!"

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-18 Best Inside Joke Best Director winner Alfonso Cuarón, thanking Sandra Bullock for not quitting Gravity after she'd misunderstood his Mexican accent and thought he'd declared his intent to give her "herpes," rather than "an earpiece."

Best Inside Joke

Best Director winner Alfonso Cuarón, thanking Sandra Bullock for not quitting Gravity after she'd misunderstood his Mexican accent and thought he'd declared his intent to give her "herpes," rather than "an earpiece."

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-19 Most Overdue Win "I was not prepared for this," Parks and Recreation front woman (and Globes cohost) Poehler admitted. "I never win, so I can't believe I won!" All we can say is: Thank God that unacceptable oversight has at last been remedied.

Most Overdue Win

"I was not prepared for this," Parks and Recreation front woman (and Globes cohost) Poehler admitted. "I never win, so I can't believe I won!" All we can say is: Thank God that unacceptable oversight has at last been remedied.

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-20 Best Excuse for an Idris Elba Screengrab Trick category! No one ever needs an excuse for an Idris Elba screengrab!

Best Excuse for an Idris Elba Screengrab

Trick category! No one ever needs an excuse for an Idris Elba screengrab!

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Golden-Globes-Highlights-21 Most Outrageous Intro Just when we thought it couldn't get edgier than Amy Poehler introducing Seth Meyers as the man who "puts his phone on 'silent' when he sneaks into women's locker rooms," here came Tina Fey with this doozy: "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio." Don't wince too hard, though; the Wolf of Wall Street star/boyfriend of manequin Toni Garrn gave a smile and a thumbs-up to Fey as he walked to the mic.

Most Outrageous Intro

Just when we thought it couldn't get edgier than Amy Poehler introducing Seth Meyers as the man who "puts his phone on 'silent' when he sneaks into women's locker rooms," here came Tina Fey with this doozy: "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio." Don't wince too hard, though; the Wolf of Wall Street star/boyfriend of manequin Toni Garrn gave a smile and a thumbs-up to Fey as he walked to the mic.

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