Quotes Of The Week For Dec. 6, 2015

GOTHAM

"You've switched sides so much — how do we know we can trust you?"

"How do I know you're not a martian in a rubber suit?"

Selina (Camren Bicondova) makes a fair enough point when Alfred (Sean Pertwee) questions her allegiances

"You guys see The Wiz last night? It was awesome. Man, it was so great seeing that many black people on TV outside of the NBA Finals."

Shelly (Ron Funches) pays lip service to NBC's other live production

"Clive, what is George R.R. Martin doing right now?"

"Not writing!"

As a Game of Thrones fan, Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) has some strong feelings about the author's current activities

"Remember me, Lucious?"

Whoops! Lucious discovers that Camilla (Naomi Campbell) — ex-girlfriend of his son Hakeem — is back in the U.S. and married to the woman whose vast wealth is keeping his company afloat

"I've been so blessed, but I have this kind of underlying fear that on my tombstone, it will say, 'She wore diapers.'"

Lisa Rinna, a little late to be having second thoughts about that Depends commercial

MARVEL'S JESSICA JONES

"How indestructible are you?.... If I were to bite your finger with all of my considerable strength...."

"Depends on how considerable. So, don't go getting any ideas about my extremities."

Luke (Mike Colter) hopes that his sometime lover Jessica (Krysten Ritter) was just talking about his finger. But just in case....

THE GRINDER

"Yes, the show's a hit. Yes, critics love it. I'm here to tell you that none of that matters. What matters is what the fans are saying on Twitter and other social media platforms."

"The true barometer of success."

Dean's former boss (Jason Alexander) gives him the 411 on The Grinder: New Orleans

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, even after sneaking two of your agents into my workplace."

"Technically, I was right to do that. You are working for HYDRA..."

"Any sensible girl would swipe left in this moment."

"Honestly? I don't know what that means."

"You're such a Luddite!"

"You know I have a flying car, right?"

"Yeah — from the '60s."

Couldn't you just die from the cute banter between Coulson (Clark Gregg) and Rosalind (Constance Zimmer)?

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (Bonus Quote!)

"You really are the king idiot."

Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) shoots down Ward's suggestion that he deserves some credit for her "Furiosa vibe"

"Be careful. These are shark-infested waters, and those fake t-ts won't keep you afloat for long."

The only thing missing from Queen Helena's (Elizabeth Hurley) closing remarks to the new Deputy Prime Minister was a mic drop

FARGO

"Maybe you've heard of me — the butcher of Luverne."

"I have heard. And may I say, brother — I like your style."

Ed (Jesse Plemons) flaunts his "rep" in front of Mike Milligan (Bokeem Woodbine)

ARROW

"A bunch of superheroes in a farmhouse? I feel like I've seen that in a movie before."

Thea (Willa Holland) is a real hawkeye when it comes to spying movie parallels

"There's no such thing as a best friend. That's just something Hello Kitty made up to sell more Hello Kitty."

After a falling out with bestie Honey, Jessica (Constance Wu) explains her stance on friendship

"Look, man, I get it. My dad killed your dad. But you need to know something: Your dad was an a—hole."

Carl (Chandler Riggs), telling homicidal Ron in no uncertain terms to get over it already

"Honey, just pretend you're brave."

Jessie (Alexandra Breckenridge), advising son Sam to fake it 'til he makes it through a horde of walkers

"You're staring at me — I can feel it."

"I can't help it. You are very sexy when you're writing a check."

Courtney (Vanessa L. Williams) learns one of Eli's (Alan Cumming) biggest turn-ons

"I just noticed — no sleeves. Don't you get cold?"

"I spent the better part of five years on an island in the North China Sea. I don't get cold, Barry."

Barry (Grant Gustin) takes stock of Oliver's (Stephen Amell) new costume

"I can't compete with these geisha features! He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby!"

Glenn (Mark McKinney), resigning himself to the fact that handsome Jonah was always bound to be more interesting to a visiting reporter

"Why would anyone be attracted to Jonah? He looks like a villain on The CW."

On second thought, Mateo (Nico Santos) isn't buying into all the Jonah hype

"What the devil am I wearing? Why must Dark Ones dress like monks?"

[Transforms into his pirate garb]

"Yes, much better. I went leather as well!"

Rumple's spirit (Robert Carlyle) approves of Dark Hook's (Colin O'Donoghue) look

"Fat is the best!"

Sully (Nate Torrence), after he learns that his friend survived a stabbing because of his love handle

"A hot shower does wonders."

"Real, deep scrub. Purifying."

"For Maddie?"

"The whole family. Just get the whole gang in there. You know, the family that showers together..."

Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Sam (Jared Padalecki) have some interesting advice for a mother who, unbeknownst to her, has her daughter's imaginary friend's manicorn blood on her face

"I'm sorry. Not even for you, Kara, for whom I would do anything. No. I'm not doing this."

"It's about her dad."

[after a pause] "That's dirty pool, Danvers. You know I have daddy issues."

Kara (Melissa Benoist) knows exactly which cards to play when asking Winn (Jeremy Jordan) to use his hacking skills

"I wanted to get you pregnant."

Enigmatic Meg (Liv Tyler), explaining to Tom why she [bleeped] him