Grammys 2013: Grades For All 20 Performances!

By Michael Slezak Feb. 11, 2013 4:03 am EST

1 taylor swift

Taylor Swift "We Are Never Getting Back Together" Swift opened the show with a Circusmaster in Wonderland extravaganza that included stilts and plushies and a really heinous jester clown. Sure, her vocal may have wobbled here and there, but the country starlet provided more stage spectacle than any other Grammy performer -- and spent the rest of the night charmingly singing along and dancing to the 19 acts that followed her. Be honest: It is useless to resist her! Grade: B+

Taylor Swift

"We Are Never Getting Back Together"

Swift opened the show with a Circusmaster in Wonderland extravaganza that included stilts and plushies and a really heinous jester clown. Sure, her vocal may have wobbled here and there, but the country starlet provided more stage spectacle than any other Grammy performer — and spent the rest of the night charmingly singing along and dancing to the 19 acts that followed her. Be honest: It is useless to resist her! Grade: B+

2 elton john

Ed Sheeran and Elton John "The A Team" British singer-songwriter (and 2013 Grammy nominee) Sheeran teamed up with Sir Elton for a stripped-down performance that was all about understated elegance. Perhaps, though, it was a little too understated (that's polite for "sleepy") for music's biggest night. Grade: B-

Ed Sheeran and Elton John

"The A Team"

British singer-songwriter (and 2013 Grammy nominee) Sheeran teamed up with Sir Elton for a stripped-down performance that was all about understated elegance. Perhaps, though, it was a little too understated (that's polite for "sleepy") for music's biggest night. Grade: B-

3 fun

fun. "Carry On" I can't lie and say Nate Ruess' Capri pants didn't register a 10 on my irksome-o-meter -- call me anklephobic, I guess -- but dude's vocal was on point, and the mid-performance rainshower was an eye-catching touch. (Side note: Was anyone else mildly to moderately stressed out about the combo of water and electrical equipment on stage? No? Just me? Oh.) Grade: B+

fun.

"Carry On"

I can't lie and say Nate Ruess' Capri pants didn't register a 10 on my irksome-o-meter — call me anklephobic, I guess — but dude's vocal was on point, and the mid-performance rainshower was an eye-catching touch. (Side note: Was anyone else mildly to moderately stressed out about the combo of water and electrical equipment on stage? No? Just me? Oh.) Grade: B+

4 miranda lambert

Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bentley "Over You"/"Home" I liked the combo of Lambert's pert instrument with Bentley's gravel-and-gin tone -- especially when they harmonized on the choruses of their respective hits -- but alas, the sound mix on this performance was strangely cold and echo-ey. (Fashion side note: Miranda, it pains me to say this, but you needed two or three more inches of skirt to avoid looking like you were wearing something from the Oksana Baiul Figure-Skating Collection.) Grade: B

Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bentley

"Over You"/"Home"

I liked the combo of Lambert's pert instrument with Bentley's gravel-and-gin tone — especially when they harmonized on the choruses of their respective hits — but alas, the sound mix on this performance was strangely cold and echo-ey. (Fashion side note: Miranda, it pains me to say this, but you needed two or three more inches of skirt to avoid looking like you were wearing something from the Oksana Baiul Figure-Skating Collection.) Grade: B

5 miguel

Miguel and Wiz Khalifa "Adorn" I'd like to echo Kelly Clarkson's sentiment: I didn't really know much (er, anything) about Miguel heading into the 2013 Grammys, but his wicked range, smooth delivery and outsized charisma will have me investigating him on iTunes come Monday morning. (Fashion note: Who else momentarily thought Wiz was wearing a patterned shirt under that zig-zag jacket, then realized it was just his gugillion torso tattoos? Whoa!) Grade: A-

Miguel and Wiz Khalifa

"Adorn"

I'd like to echo Kelly Clarkson's sentiment: I didn't really know much (er, anything) about Miguel heading into the 2013 Grammys, but his wicked range, smooth delivery and outsized charisma will have me investigating him on iTunes come Monday morning. (Fashion note: Who else momentarily thought Wiz was wearing a patterned shirt under that zig-zag jacket, then realized it was just his gugillion torso tattoos? Whoa!) Grade: A-

6 mumford and sons

Mumford and Sons "I Will Wait" Nothing was wrong with the folk rockers' straightforward set, but neither did it feel like they'd stretched themselves to try something special for their big Grammy moment. Not to make unwarranted comparisons -- okay, that's exactly what I'm doing -- but I felt like the Lumineers did more with less, y'know? Grade: B-

Mumford and Sons

"I Will Wait"

Nothing was wrong with the folk rockers' straightforward set, but neither did it feel like they'd stretched themselves to try something special for their big Grammy moment. Not to make unwarranted comparisons — okay, that's exactly what I'm doing — but I felt like the Lumineers did more with less, y'know? Grade: B-

7 justin timberlake

Justin Timberlake "Suit and Tie"/"Pusher Love Girl" Talk about being all dressed up with no hook to sing! For his much-hyped set (half filmed in black-and-white, half in color), Timberlake surrounded himself with a huge band, an art deco set, and a gaggle of dancers -- but his new tunes proved to be joyless facsimiles of stuff Robin Thicke and Bruno Mars have done better. Just as disappointing, the former N'Sync frontman seemed disconnected from the scores of folks on stage with him (the sole exception being special guest Jay Z). JT's hair looked spiffy, though. Grade: C-

Justin Timberlake

"Suit and Tie"/"Pusher Love Girl"

Talk about being all dressed up with no hook to sing! For his much-hyped set (half filmed in black-and-white, half in color), Timberlake surrounded himself with a huge band, an art deco set, and a gaggle of dancers — but his new tunes proved to be joyless facsimiles of stuff Robin Thicke and Bruno Mars have done better. Just as disappointing, the former N'Sync frontman seemed disconnected from the scores of folks on stage with him (the sole exception being special guest Jay Z). JT's hair looked spiffy, though. Grade: C-

8 maroon 5 alicia keys

Maroon 5 and Alicia Keys "Daylight"/"Girl on Fire" There were moments where Adam Levine's voice came off like the long lost twin of Keys' signature wail -- especially on the "whoas" of "Girl on Fire" -- but Keys' peculiar interactions with the Maroon 5 frontman (half vogueing, half flirtatious) drained some of the emotional oomph out of the tires and left me feeling a tiny bit flat when the collaboration came to a close. Grade: B-

Maroon 5 and Alicia Keys

"Daylight"/"Girl on Fire"

There were moments where Adam Levine's voice came off like the long lost twin of Keys' signature wail — especially on the "whoas" of "Girl on Fire" — but Keys' peculiar interactions with the Maroon 5 frontman (half vogueing, half flirtatious) drained some of the emotional oomph out of the tires and left me feeling a tiny bit flat when the collaboration came to a close. Grade: B-

9 rihanna

Rihanna and Mikky Ekko "Stay" I've always felt like Rihanna was one of those artists who's better in the studio than she is live, but this emotionally tortured ballad proved that I might have misjudged RiRi (or that she's invested in a really first-rate vocal coach). Girlfriend sounded so good, I can't even downgrading her for bringing Chris Brown with her (and thereby making me have to endure multiple "Breezy" sightings through the course of the telecast. Grade: A-

Rihanna and Mikky Ekko

"Stay"

I've always felt like Rihanna was one of those artists who's better in the studio than she is live, but this emotionally tortured ballad proved that I might have misjudged RiRi (or that she's invested in a really first-rate vocal coach). Girlfriend sounded so good, I can't even downgrading her for bringing Chris Brown with her (and thereby making me have to endure multiple "Breezy" sightings through the course of the telecast. Grade: A-

10 black keys

The Black Keys "Lonely Boy" Note to Justin Timberlake: If you're gonna fill the stage with musicians, make sure every blast of horn and every beat of every drum feels absolutely vital. That's exactly what happened when Ohio rock duo the Black Keys teamed up with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and a befeathered Dr. John to create musical magic so pulse-pounding and delightful that the sleep-refusing toddler who zoned out on my lap for half the 2013 Grammys shot straight up at the end of the performance and burst into applause. Now that's good stuff. Grade: A+

The Black Keys

"Lonely Boy"

Note to Justin Timberlake: If you're gonna fill the stage with musicians, make sure every blast of horn and every beat of every drum feels absolutely vital. That's exactly what happened when Ohio rock duo the Black Keys teamed up with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and a befeathered Dr. John to create musical magic so pulse-pounding and delightful that the sleep-refusing toddler who zoned out on my lap for half the 2013 Grammys shot straight up at the end of the performance and burst into applause. Now that's good stuff. Grade: A+

11 kelly clarkson

Kelly Clarkson "Tennessee Waltz"/"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" Paying tribute to Patti Page and Carole King, the original American Idol somehow made relevant an old-fashioned country ditty, and then took glorious possession of one of the greatest pop-soul ballads ever written. Honestly, if she'd flown out of the auditorium like Superman at the end of her performance, it wouldn't have shocked me in the least. Girl cannot be human. Grade: A+

Kelly Clarkson

"Tennessee Waltz"/"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman"

Paying tribute to Patti Page and Carole King, the original American Idol somehow made relevant an old-fashioned country ditty, and then took glorious possession of one of the greatest pop-soul ballads ever written. Honestly, if she'd flown out of the auditorium like Superman at the end of her performance, it wouldn't have shocked me in the least. Girl cannot be human. Grade: A+

12 bruno mars

Tribute to Bob Marley "Locked Out of Heaven"/"Walking on the Moon"/"Could You Be Loved" Bruno Mars and Sting kicked things off brilliantly on the opening two songs of this medley -- honestly, I don't think I'll ever tire of seeing Bruno get jiggy with his raucous line of horn and guitar players -- then were joined by Rihanna and Ziggy Marley for the final third. I may be up to my calves in Winter Storm Nemo, but for a few minutes, I got transported to the islands, and I'm not mad about it. Grade: A-

Tribute to Bob Marley

"Locked Out of Heaven"/"Walking on the Moon"/"Could You Be Loved"

Bruno Mars and Sting kicked things off brilliantly on the opening two songs of this medley — honestly, I don't think I'll ever tire of seeing Bruno get jiggy with his raucous line of horn and guitar players — then were joined by Rihanna and Ziggy Marley for the final third. I may be up to my calves in Winter Storm Nemo, but for a few minutes, I got transported to the islands, and I'm not mad about it. Grade: A-

13 lumineers

The Lumineers "Ho Hey" You could've seen pretty much the same performance on SNL a few months back, but the indie darlings always seem so gosh-darn elated to share their ear-wormy hit with the world that I can't bring myself to say much of anything bad about 'em.Grade: B+

The Lumineers

"Ho Hey"

You could've seen pretty much the same performance on SNL a few months back, but the indie darlings always seem so gosh-darn elated to share their ear-wormy hit with the world that I can't bring myself to say much of anything bad about 'em.Grade: B+

14 jack white

Jack White "Love Interruption"/"Freedom at 21" White's set began with a duet with Ruby Amanfu -- flanked entirely by female players -- that percolated with undeniable sexual energy. It then gave way to an all-dude orgy of raging rock riffs that was louder and more frenzied than any other 2013 Grammy performance. A slightly jarring juxtaposition, but not an unpleasant one. Grade: A-

Jack White

"Love Interruption"/"Freedom at 21"

White's set began with a duet with Ruby Amanfu — flanked entirely by female players — that percolated with undeniable sexual energy. It then gave way to an all-dude orgy of raging rock riffs that was louder and more frenzied than any other 2013 Grammy performance. A slightly jarring juxtaposition, but not an unpleasant one. Grade: A-

15 hunter hayes

Hunter Hayes "Wanted" The country cutie only got to play a snippet of his hit "Wanted," but in his short, tremulous time on screen, it was clear why at this point in his career, he's an opening act for Carrie Underwood rather than a full-fledged headliner. Grade: C+

Hunter Hayes

"Wanted"

The country cutie only got to play a snippet of his hit "Wanted," but in his short, tremulous time on screen, it was clear why at this point in his career, he's an opening act for Carrie Underwood rather than a full-fledged headliner. Grade: C+

16 carrie underwood

Carrie Underwood "Blown Away"/"Two Black Cadillacs" Whether or not you were gasping or scratching your head at the images projected onto the country songbird's dress -- I'm in the former camp (ooh! butterflies!) -- I'd wager Underwood's clear and present vocal about a widow and a mistress attending their man's funeral couldn't have been any more dramatic. Grade: A-

Carrie Underwood

"Blown Away"/"Two Black Cadillacs"

Whether or not you were gasping or scratching your head at the images projected onto the country songbird's dress — I'm in the former camp (ooh! butterflies!) — I'd wager Underwood's clear and present vocal about a widow and a mistress attending their man's funeral couldn't have been any more dramatic. Grade: A-

17 mavis staples

Levon Helm Tribute "The Weight" A motley collection of troubadours -- Zac Brown, Elton John, Mumford and Sons, T Bone Burnett, and the Alabama Shakes' Brittany Howard -- joined forces to pay tribute to The Band's late vocalist and drummer. But it was Mavis Staples and her soulful hiccup that stole the set -- and judging from the delighted grins of her collaborators and the audience, there wasn't the slightest bit of resentment against the R&B legend's showy exhibition.Grade: B+

Levon Helm Tribute

"The Weight"

A motley collection of troubadours — Zac Brown, Elton John, Mumford and Sons, T Bone Burnett, and the Alabama Shakes' Brittany Howard — joined forces to pay tribute to The Band's late vocalist and drummer. But it was Mavis Staples and her soulful hiccup that stole the set — and judging from the delighted grins of her collaborators and the audience, there wasn't the slightest bit of resentment against the R&B legend's showy exhibition.Grade: B+

18 juanes

Juanes "Your Song" The Colombian heartthrob paid tribute to Elton John with an acoustic, bilingual cover of one of Sir Elton's early hits. The stripped-down vibe, however, exposed a vocal that was as intermittently patchy as the facial hair on Juanes' face. Grade: B-

Juanes

"Your Song"

The Colombian heartthrob paid tribute to Elton John with an acoustic, bilingual cover of one of Sir Elton's early hits. The stripped-down vibe, however, exposed a vocal that was as intermittently patchy as the facial hair on Juanes' face. Grade: B-

19 frank ocean gump

Frank Ocean "Forest Gump" Have you ever been to a modern art museum and there's some kind of audio-visual exhibit behind a curtain, and you stick your head in for 30 seconds, think to yourself "This is what's passing for art nowadays?" and move on to the next painting or sculpture. That's exactly how I felt about Ocean's whiny, melody-free performance, complete with hideous headband and inscrutable "look! his legs are moving but he's standing still!" video projections. If I missed the point, somebody please enlighten me down in the comments section. (Srsly, I'm not being sarcastic.) Grade: D

Frank Ocean

"Forest Gump"

Have you ever been to a modern art museum and there's some kind of audio-visual exhibit behind a curtain, and you stick your head in for 30 seconds, think to yourself "This is what's passing for art nowadays?" and move on to the next painting or sculpture. That's exactly how I felt about Ocean's whiny, melody-free performance, complete with hideous headband and inscrutable "look! his legs are moving but he's standing still!" video projections. If I missed the point, somebody please enlighten me down in the comments section. (Srsly, I'm not being sarcastic.) Grade: D

20 ladies love cool james

LL Cool J and Chuck D "Whaddup" I'm not sure I needed the literal reminder of the song's title projected in giant flashing letters on the backdrop, but as someone who still considers "Mama Said Knock You Out" as an essential part of any workout playlist, it was great to see LL put aside his NCIS: LA hat for a second and remind the world that he's fast and furious on the mic. I giggled with glee when Chuck D repeatedly shoved a bouncing LL as their all-star band -- including Tom Morello, Travis Barker and Z-Trip -- spazzed out behind 'em. Sure, it was jarring when CBS cut to the voice of a calm white lady who told us all about sponsorships from Hilton Hotels and Delta, but aside from that blip, it was a rowdy and righteous way to close the show. Grade: A-

LL Cool J and Chuck D

"Whaddup"

I'm not sure I needed the literal reminder of the song's title projected in giant flashing letters on the backdrop, but as someone who still considers "Mama Said Knock You Out" as an essential part of any workout playlist, it was great to see LL put aside his NCIS: LA hat for a second and remind the world that he's fast and furious on the mic. I giggled with glee when Chuck D repeatedly shoved a bouncing LL as their all-star band — including Tom Morello, Travis Barker and Z-Trip — spazzed out behind 'em. Sure, it was jarring when CBS cut to the voice of a calm white lady who told us all about sponsorships from Hilton Hotels and Delta, but aside from that blip, it was a rowdy and righteous way to close the show. Grade: A-