30 TV Moments We Can't Unsee

Behold, the cute little fella who keeps attacking our titular comedian in his nightmares!

Jerome sees to it that his father really is blind.

Sure, Masters and Johnson have taken some risks in their research before — but letting a gorilla ogle and fondle Virginia's breasts? Uncomfortable, laughable and a stain on the Showtime drama's eventually-great third season.

Did you know Paula Deen has healthy amounts of cleavage? Well, every male dancer on the ABC reality series is now aware, thanks to Deen's insistence on making her ballroom partners motorboat her in Season 21.

Dr. James' malfunctioning "anal horn" causes an explosive bowel movement — right in Patsy's face.

Kenzi consumes her slain father's heart — and thus his power.

Philip and Elizabeth break the bones of his dead informant so he can fold her into a suitcase. (Oh, how we wish we could unhear those cracking sounds, too.)

Marnie leans over the kitchen sink, but it's not the dishes getting polished as boyfriend Desi drops to his knees and goes to town.

Jamal forgets it's "Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve" (we kid! we kid!) and kisses diva collaborator Skye Summers.

Glenn gets pinned under Nicholas — as Nicholas' innards get ripped out by zombies.

Presented without comment.

Forrest MacNeil joins the mile-high club (hidden only by an airline blanket) with a busy escort — as his son and stripper girlfriend are seated only a few rows behind.

Korin Bukowski turns her "Save Me" song into a "Put Me Out of My Misery" performance when she forgets the words to Colbie Caillat's "Try" in spectacular/horrifying fashion.

Laurel and Thea dig up Sara's dead body, and the show gives us a gratuitous close-up of the decomposed corpse. (We get it: she's dead.)

The Tooth Fairy gives Dr. Chilton's face an extreme makeover — with his chompers — then flambés him for good measure.

We would have taken Hester's word for it when she revealed to the audience that she impaled herself with a stiletto. We didn't need to watch the damage be done.

Adorable Shireen is burned alive. By her father's order. As her helpless mother watches.

Ray Reddington certainly knows how to send an ominous message to his adversaries — but did we really need a close-up of the severed tongue The Director received in the mail?

Visitors to the "Museum of Boyfriend Wardrobe Atrocities" bear witness to a pile containing 5,200 pairs of Crocs, each one representing a relationship torn apart by poor fashion judgment.

Max Greenfield's Gabriel is assaulted by the Addiction Demon (and his stainless-steel strap-on).

Just when we thought Tom Tucker's son was the creepiest kid with an upside-down face, along comes The Messengers' Antichrist.

We know we should be praising Madame Kali's sculpting skills, but we're too busy averting our eyes from her creepy Vanessa Ives voodoo doll.

She is cavewoman, hear her roar as she births a baby without such modern conveniences as epidurals or doctors or comfy patches of grass to lay down on.

The FXX dramedy's Halloween episode turns into Sunday Not-So-Funday, as Jimmy & Co. spend an afternoon getting abused, chased and mocked by the horrifying residents of a haunted house exhibit.

We didn't think Scream could top Will's gruesome, farm-set murder... until we (wish we hadn't) watched Sheriff Hudson get his insides removed.

Alex was top of her class at the FBI academy; unfortunately, "Tabletop bullet-removal surgery from your ex who, by the way, hasn't had anesthesia" was one elective she didn't take.

While Moira begins to rediscover herself sexually, she lends a helping hand — quite literally — to ex-wife Shelley, making way for an intimate-but-awkward bathtub rendezvous.

Jamie's violation at Randall's hand (and various other parts) traumatized us almost as much as it did the poor, bloody laird of Lallybroch.

Greg and Jen hilariously conjure up a mental image of her post-birth vagina that sounds like the inspiration for American Horror Story: Delivery Room.

Well, guess we got our answer to the perennial question, "Will Kelly Burkhardt return to the show this season?"