Quotes Of The Week For Jan. 27, 2019

TRUE DETECTIVE

"How you gonna wear that badge?"

"It's got a little clip on it."

Police detective Hays (Mahershala Ali) has a matter-of-fact answer to a loaded question from a black suspect (John Earl Jelks)

A MILLION LITTLE THINGS

"He's got muscles and tattoos."

"How do you know he has tattoos?"

"I just know it. I know it in my heart."

Carter (Sam Pancake) gives boss Katherine (Grace Park) a pep talk before her date with a hunky co-worker

THE BACHELOR

"You know, maybe she could potentially not suck one day, but as of right now, she sucks."

Demi gives a brutal assessment of Courtney, moments before her romantic rival gets dumped by Colton

YOU'RE THE WORST

"Gretchen is what we call an SD: a super dependent. Like Rob Kardashian, or a dog whose back legs don't work."

Financial planner Paul (Allan McLeod) issues a stern warning to Jimmy about his fiancée Gretchen

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE

"OK, cool cool. Just before we go, I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a bit. Not to cry about you leaving, but just to... take a huge dump. So if you hear any crying from the bathroom — [forced laugh] — not about you, it's the dump."

Sgt. Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero), playing it cool after Gina accepts her brunch invite

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (Bonus Quote!)

"Hey, is this the hungry monkey thing?"

"It sure is, A.C. Slater! I'm so sorry, Mr. Lopez. I know that you're not actually the very iconic character that you played."

"You sure about that, Preppy?"

"[Deep exhale] This is the best moment of my life."

Mario Lopez makes all of Jake's (Andy Samberg) Saved by the Bell dreams come true when he arrives for Gina's going-away party

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER

"You nervous?"

"To see Nora, no. But Pierce Jensen, on the other hand..."

"Well, you steer him my way. I enjoy smacking down uppity white men."

Annalise (Viola Davis) delivers the understatement of the year while trying to reassure Emmett (Timothy Hutton)

SINGLE PARENTS

"Emma said I'm dumb!"

"You're not dumb, but... God doesn't give with both hands. Know what I mean?"

"No. [beat] But I don't like it."

Emma (Mia Allan) and Amy (Ella Allan) butt heads after Emma's school counselor deems her a math genius

WILL & GRACE

"Honey, feelings are for poor people and the liberals who love them."

Karen (Megan Mullally), dismissing the notion that her divorce might leave her going through emotions

GREY'S ANATOMY

"She's saved more penises in her O.R. than any surgeon on the planet, and all I keep imagining are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises doomed to live out their sexless lives if I botch this surgery."

"That's what you're worried about? Men and their junk?"

Amelia (Caterina Scorsone), stunned by what has Koracick (Greg Germann) so concerned before operating on Catherine

SUPERNATURAL

"I believe in us. Why don't you believe in us, too?"

Sam (Jared Padalecki) pleads with Dean not to go through with his suicidal plan to defeat Michael

CORPORATE

"If women liked the way they looked, the entire American economy would collapse."

Jake (Jake Weisman) recognizes how vital the cosmetics industry is to our GDP

ARROW

"I was hoping to utilize your skills to help me with something. Hypothetically."

"OK, let me stop you right there, because we both know that 'hypothetically' means that this is definitely happening."

Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards) knows that Laurel (Katie Cassidy) doesn't do anything "in theory"

MANIFEST

"We're going to need some supplies."

"OK, I'll go. Like what?"

"Water, compass, flashlights... pork rinds."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Pork rinds. Delicious, salty snack...? They still make those, right?" 

"Yeah, unfortunately."

Michaela (Melissa Roxburgh) is surprised by Zeke's (Matt Long) first craving after vanishing for a year

THE FLASH

"Nobody breaks up my family, you sonuvabitch!"

Iris (Candice Patton) swings into Mama Bear mode, zapping the Museum's Reverse-Flash

VANDERPUMP RULES

"To get to Marina del Rey, you have to go south of Sur for, like, ever and ever, all the way to the 10-West, just to fight all the airport traffic on the 405, to get to the 90-West, whatever the hell that is, past the flight attendants and divorcées and old men with metal detectors."
 
Stassi giving complicated, Los Angeles-style directions to Scheana's new neighborhood (which is technically only about 15 miles from West Hollywood)

BIG BROTHER: CELEBRITY EDITION

"Whoa!"

Julie Chen Moonves reacts to Joey Lawrence's elimination

BLACK MONDAY

"There's only so many places white people go. I could've bumped into this guy at an apple orchard, or at a puppet show, or at a place where the turkey sandwich is 'to die for'..."

Mo (Don Cheadle) lists all of the places he could've bumped into new hire Blair