Quotes Of The Week From Major Crimes, Hell's Kitchen, Rookie Blue, Last Week Tonight And More
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PRETTY LITTLE LIARS
"Ali, your mother wore that dress. ... She wore it to your funeral."
Spencer (Troian Bellisario) explaining to Alison why she had to change before her mother's funeral — a sentence that could only be spoken on this show
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HELL'S KITCHEN
"I drink heavily when I cook, and they can't even do that!"
Guest diner Minnie Driver, sympathizing with Gordon Ramsay's cheftestants
MAJOR CRIMES
MAJOR CRIMES
"Sorry — this woman's head is like a glacier. I'll have to thaw it out carefully...."
"Well, what about taking a hair sample?"
"It's a wig."
"She chose this...?! Dear God...."
Things get hairy as Morales (Jonathan Del Arco) and Raydor (Mary McDonnell) deal with a cryogenically frozen head
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DEVIOUS MAIDS
"Well, don't just stand there looking ethnic. Push me!"
Genevieve's mother (June Squibb) giving orders to Zoila with her usual brand of tact
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DEVIOUS MAIDS (Bonus Quote!)
"It was coronary angina, some minor problem with her heart. I tried to tell the doctors she doesn't have one, but they wouldn't listen."
Genevieve (Susan Lucci) clearly has mixed emotions about her mother's speedy recovery
Suits Quote
SUITS
"Shut the front door!"
"No, I'm going to shut the back door!"
Donna (Sarah Rafferty), playing along with Louis' (Rick Hoffman) belief that new colleague Jeff came onto him
HOLLYWOOD EXES
HOLLYWOOD EXES
"You could be like, 'I'm a dirty whore, and I need prayer!'"
Andrea, suggesting some role play that could spice up Sheree's sex life with her pastor husband
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BIG BROTHER
"I'm a Big Brother superfan. I'm in the house, and all I can keep thinking is, 'Nicole, don't pee your pants! Don't pee your pants!' Sometimes that happens when I laugh too hard or get excited."
Recent nursing graduate Nicole Franzel, warming up to the idea of spilling personal secrets in the Diary Room
CONTINUUM
CONTINUUM
"So that's how this relationship is going to be...? I'm Commissioner Gordon and you're–"
"Ooh, I know this one.... I thought."
"Eh, forget it."
Kiera's (Rachel Nichols) lack of transparency drives Carlos (Victor Webster) "batty"
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LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
"That makes sense, because we're all looking for flowery language from our physicians. 'Like the sunlight shines upon the hidden grassy meadow, so does chlamydia cast a warm glow upon your private parts.'"
John Oliver, riffing on a video clip of Dr. Oz saying he uses "flowery language" to make certain products more appealing to viewers
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ROOKIE BLUE
"I bet it's a severed head."
"Why would there be a severed head in a safe, Gail?"
"Where else would you keep it?"
Gail (Charlotte Sullivan) and Dov (Gregory Smith) trying to guess the contents of a criminal's safe
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ROOKIE BLUE (Bonus Quote!)
"I think about you two all the time. That came out wrong."
"You came out wrong."
Dov (Gregory Smith) and Gail (Charlotte Sullivan) discussing her new relationship with Holly
MOTIVE
MOTIVE
"About what? How to remove stubborn blood stains?"
Coroner Betty Rogers (Lauren Holly), wondering what "expert opinion" her colleagues could be seeking considering that she's been called to a gore-spattered crime scene with no actual body to examine
Tyrant
TYRANT
"Talk to him."
"Talk to him? You mean like Oprah? 'How do you feel, Walid? You had a bad childhood? Oh, me too — let's hug it out.'"
Jamal (Ashraf Barhom), scoffing at his visiting Americanized brother Barry's peaceful tactics in dealing with a warlord