Quotes Of The Week For August 17, 2014
Defiance 1 quote
DEFIANCE
"We need you to take off your shirt. It's important."
"Well, if we're going to have a three-way...[To Kenya] I'm Berlin."
Nolan (Grant Bowler) needs his current lover Berlin (Anna Hopkins) to show his ex her back tattoo
Defiance Quote
DEFIANCE (Bonus Quote!)
"His plan was to fake a dramatic rescue, and reunite two sisters. Amanda would be so grateful her panties would just melt away at your tender touch."
"You're not funny."
Doc Yewll (Trenna Keating) explains Pottinger's scheme to Faux Kenya — but the mayor's not amused
GirlMeetsWorld_FarkleMinkus
GIRL MEETS WORLD
"Your name is... Farkle Minkus?"
"Don't wear it out!"
"I don't know how you could."
Lucas (Peyton Meyer) learns "What's in a name" when Farkle's (Corey Fogelmanis) father visits on Career Day
Mistresses Joss Quote Dead Paul
MISTRESSES
"I'm not actually that surprised. Well, I mean, Paul coming back from the dead? Shocking! Back-from-the-dead Paul working for a Cuban drug lord? Sure, why not?"
Joss (Jes Macallan), letting pal April know that she shouldn't rule out even the most outrageous behavior from her "late" hubby
Mistresses April Quote
MISTRESSES (Bonus Quote!)
"I am here to find out why the FBI bugged my 12-year-old daughter's bedroom! Do I need an appointment for that?!"
April (Rochelle Aytes), dressing down an agent at FBI reception for wondering if she'd called ahead
the-strain-ephraim-setrakian-romanian-vampire-quote
THE STRAIN
"He's an ancient creature who feeds on the blood of his victims."
"Like a vampire?"
"I use the term 'strigoi.'"
"Which is 'vampire' in...?"
"Romanian."
"...Oh."
Setrakian (David Bradley) and Ephraim (Corey Stoll), getting into semantics as they discuss The Master
big-brother-frankie-very-gay-quote
BIG BROTHER
"Are you even gay?"
"I am very gay."
Caleb starts to question everything after Frankie tells his allies he's related to pop star Ariana Grande
Bachelor in Paradise
BACHELOR IN PARADISE
"Dylan looks like a bloated, tanner version of Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting. I've got a new nickname for Dylan: Fat Damon. So here's the thing: I kissed Fat Damon's girl, and now he's gotta go Good Will Hunting for someone else!"
Chris, going all Mean Girls to add insult to his rival's injury
masters of sex quote
MASTERS OF SEX
"Once I'm finished making Dr. Masters' bed, should I make yours, too?"
Nanny Coral (Keke Palmer), passively-aggressively twisting the knife after putting "woman of the world" employer Libby in her place with an anecdote about her enviable sex life
Masters of Sex Lillian Leg Up Quote
MASTERS OF SEX (Bonus Quote!)
"Try not to perpetuate the sick belief that women need to open their legs to get a leg up!"
Lillian (Julianne Nicholson), getting in a parting shot as Virginia storms out after their argument over her "partnership" with Bill
last-week-with-john-oliver-mcdonalds-in-america-quote
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
"More than Starbucks or McDonald's? McDonald's?! I didn't know there was more of anything in the U.S. than McDonald's, including people and grains of sand."
John Oliver, flabbergasted that the number of payday loan stores in America exceeds the number of Starbucks or McDonald's establishments
project-runway-nina-garcia-vagina-superhero-quote
PROJECT RUNWAY
"It's like she's the vagina superhero!"
Nina Garcia, after noticing the poorly placed "V" on contestant Hernan's dress
quotes_today_hamm
TODAY
"It ends in space."
Jon Hamm joking (we think?!) with host Matt Lauer about howMad Men's series finale will conclude
Today 4th Hour Kathie Lee Bday Quote
TODAY (Bonus Quote!)
"Don't bring me a lentil on a plate and call it lunch!"
Kathie Lee Gifford, expressing excitement after getting a plate of lamb chops, spinach and mashed potatoes for her on-air birthday feast
chopped-teen-tournament-jason-baby-diarrhea-quote
CHOPPED
"When I see Dante's plate, the first thing that I think is... baby diarrhea."
Teen Tournament contestant Jason, giving a less-than-glowing review to his competitor's entree dish
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What were your favorite TV quotes this week? Go back to the article page and sound off in the comments!