Quotes Of The Week For July 5, 2015

"I will slap the taste out of your mouth!"

Jessica (Gina Torres) shuts up Louis with an incredible threat

"It doesn't take Albert Einstein to figure out why you hired somebody who looks like me to replace somebody who looks like [Donna]."

"Listen, Gretchen...."

"You don't have to worry about that with me. I prefer my men manly."

"Am I not manly?"

"Well, If you have to ask...."

Harvey's (Gabriel Macht) new secretary (Aloma Wright) has him questioning his swag

"Call 9-1-1!"

"Calling Pottery Barn."

Maybe if Nina (Bella Thorne) had better voice recognition software on her phone, she would still be alive

"How'd a guy like you land a wife that beautiful?"

"In the dark."

"It's true, we met in a movie theater."

A reporter questions Scott Carpenter (Wilson Bethel) and his wife Rene (Yvonne Strahovski) — also, Wilson Bethel is nothing to sneeze at

"Damn, you need a doctor. I was hoping it was an undertaker."

Veronica (Angela Robinson) to husband David (Peter Parros) after he survived her murder attempt

"She's sexy like all the Kardashians, but with Scott Disick's whip-smart attitude. Ashlee Simpson voice, O.J. Simpson strength. She's Casey Anthony hot — but with no baggage."

Amy might not be the best "wing woman" for her newly single pal (Rachel Dratch)

"Your best friend is a werewolf. You​'re​ dating a werecoyote. I still don't know what Kira is supposed to be. When the flying monkeys come soaring through this station, you will have my undivided attention. Until then, just go to school."

Sheriff Stilinski (Linden Ashby) attempting to talk some sense into an unusually jittery Stiles

"I still don't want to see the Willis family on reality TV, from a dignity standpoint. But from a sloppy Jersey mom standpoint? OK! OK!"

Wendy weighs in on the idea of a celebreality series centered on Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughters

"Let me get this straight. You hijack an alien ship, fly a one-way ticket to the moon, get lost somewhere in the void of the galaxy... and you still... won't... die?"

Pope (Colin Cunningham) is as gobsmacked as the rest of us by Tom's reappearance

"You want a doctor? Don't be surprised when I act like one"

John (Jason O'Mara) makes clear to Darius that no thuggish threats override his Hippocratic oath

"Don't like sushi, don”t like guys, and don't like you."

Gretchen (Jessica Szohr) makes her assorted preferences clear to a onetime associate

"Alec won't smoke with me. I slipped him a pot cookie once. He Gap-folded my t-shirts and color-coded his ties."

Vivian (Sonja Bennett) has more fun getting high with Karen (Yunjin Kim) than her uptight hubby

"Because I am super gay. For you."

Jude (Hayden Byerly) puts a label on himself and declares his feelings for Connor (Gavin MacIntosh)

"Dad makes me wear these dresses every day, and everybody at school started calling me goodie two shoes. So I let all the boys look up the dresses and everyone stopped saying it."

"That's...not a good idea."

Troubled girl, listen to Detective Traci Nash (Enuka Okuma)

"All maids are varying degrees of disappointing, but I think this one actually collects dust from other homes and sprinkles it around ours."

Evelyn (Rebecca Wisocky) offers a withering view of her new hire Carmen

"What's her deal?"

"Ah, she's a complicated woman. Most malware coders are."

Elliot (Rami Malek) asks Mr. Robot (Christian Slater) about their "coworker" Darlene

"Whoa, you want me to shock the corpse...?"

"Why not? He's not going to get any deader."

"OK — but nobody tweet about this."

Morales (Jonathan Del Arco) questions the idea to use current to help open a murder vic's fingerprint-protected phone

"You know, Buzz — at the end of this ride-along, I rate you based almost entirely on my mood."

After a rough start (or two), Provenza (G.W. Bailey) puts LAPD reserve officer Buzz on notice

"I've been really traumatized by balls in the past."

Margaret Cho expresses her concerns about playing mother to Holly Robinson-Peete's sports-loving family

"Barbecues are funny. You know, at a restaurant you'd never order more than one burger. You order one hamburger. But when they're being grilled in a backyard, for some reason, it feels okay to have nine of them. With a hot dog on the side."

"This is so weird. It's not poker night without Dave. I can't believe he's gone."

"Life's fragile, man. One day you're walking around without a care in the word, then suddenly... poof! It's over."

"When is Dave's wedding, anyway?"

Ben (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) and Danny (Derek Theler) mourn the "loss" of their pal Dave

"Chet's screwing me."

"I'm sorry, Quinn, but... I kinda feel like everybody knows that."

No, Shia (Aline Elasmar), the other kind

"Contrary to what you think, darling, your chivo is not magic."

"On many occasions you have said different."

Datak (Tony Curran) questions Stahma's (Jaime Murray) plan to use sex to recruit T'evgin to their cause

"That didn't happen.... You're hazing me, right?"

"Welcome to the suck, jarhead."

Defiance newcomer Samir (Raymond Ablack) can't believe the horrible tales Doc Yewll (Trenna Keating) is telling