Quotes Of The Week For Sept. 15, 2019
We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Sept. 15 through Sept. 21, 2019. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!
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BACHELOR IN PARADISE
"I did not think I would ever get engaged in Paradise. But I am so f—king happy!"
Demi is bleepin' delighted to call Kristian her fiancée
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BETWEEN TWO FERNS: THE MOVIE
"Any siblings?"
"I have one brother, yeah."
"What's he do for a living?"
"He's a rapper, too."
"What's his name? Community Chest the Rapper?"
Zach Galifianakis mocks Chance the Rapper's stage name with an A+ Monopoly joke
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BETWEEN TWO FERNS: THE MOVIE (Bonus Quote!)
"Ten [episodes] of your dumb Internet talk show, and you give me a lifetime network talk show."
"Lifetime?!"
"I'm a white man and I'm straight, and I deserve it."
Zach Galifianakis drives a hard bargain when negotiating with Will Ferrell
succession-syphilis-myspace-quote
SUCCESSION
"You don't really hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs."
Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) is surprised to hear about what (allegedly) ails Logan's archrival
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SUCCESSION (Bonus Quote!)
"Is this one of those things that I need a woman to explain to me why it's bad? Shiv... is it bad?"
"Don't ask me. I'm not your grope Geiger counter."
Shiv (Sarah Snook) pushes back when Roman (Kieran Culkin) asks for her assessment of how bad their company's #MeToo scandal is
succession-ankle-cleavage-quote
SUCCESSION (Bonus Quote!)
"I'm thinking of no-socking it. Rockin' some horny ankle cleavage."
Roman (Kieran Culkin) offers brother Kendall an unsolicited preview of his wardrobe for the big panel discussion they are taking part in
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UNBELIEVABLE
"You think I've never seen somebody like you before? I've been in the system since I was 3. I've seen social workers, DCF reps, foster care placement officers, and they all say that they want to help me. But I don't need help. I just need bad things to stop happening."
Marie (Kaitlyn Dever) lets the court-appointed shrink know this isn't her first rodeo
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killjoys-I-love-you-too-quote
KILLJOYS
"I love you, too. Don't make a big deal about it."
Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen), to the very end, was wonderfully Dutch
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TITANS
"You didn't break me out to give you tanning sessions."
Dr. Light (Michael Mosley) wants to know how he figures into Deathstroke's grand plan
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FEAR THE WALKING DEAD
"Spaghetti ain't simple, and it's usually messy one way or another."
Ginny (Colby Minifie), defending her group's willingness to kill people in order to help people... Wait, what?
rachel-maddow-elizabeth-warren-four-hours-quote
THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW
"Yeah, I was there four hours. But I'll tell you what... so was the last guy in line."
Elizabeth Warren, shrugging off the impressiveness of her selfie-taking endurance following a speech in Washington Square Park
seth-meyers-trump-puddle-with-hair-quote
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
"[Elizabeth Warren] stood there and took selfies after her speech for four hours. Can you imagine Trump doing that? I mean, look how much he sweats during his speeches. You know you're out of shape when talking is cardio! After four hours of selfies, he'd just be a puddle with hair."