Quotes Of The Week For Nov. 15, 2015

"It's the hardest to get into. Let's just say, the wait list is Jay-Z's 100th problem."

Another mom (Jenny Schmidt) gives Mindy some intel on one of New York City's most elite preschools

"You've faced down Mirakuru soldiers and the League of Assassins. Are you honestly telling me you couldn't say no to my mom?"

"She said she missed you and then she texted me one of those emojis with the single tear."

Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards) may have discovered Oliver's (Stephen Amell) kryptonite

"Just because I understand science doesn't mean I'm not bored by it."

Damien Darhk (Neal McDonough) is smart but uninterested in scientific mumbo jumbo

"I feel like we just made out. Like I should make you a mixtape."

Platt (Amy Morton), after Burgess lotions up Platt's hands in a secret attempt to figure out her ring size

"I thought all English people were fancy. These are, like... Alabama English people."

Lindsay (Kether Donohue) is understandably mortified by Jimmy's lazy, cruel relatives

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"I'm simply trying to sort the good from the bad. You gave me this job."

"That's a pretty poor interpretation of a therapist."

Coulson (Clark Gregg) thinks Andrew aka the Inhuman-hunter Lash (Blair Underwood) should revisit his job description

"Marvel has announced a new line of adult bedding printed with comic book characters like Captain America, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man. You can find the bedding in your store's birth control aisle."

"We go get this 'spark' thing, and then I'm working my way back to you, babe."

"I know when you're quoting something."

"And I love that you never know what it is."

When it comes to Hook (Colin O'Donoghue), Emma (Jennifer Morrison) has a burning love insi-i-i-de

"That's the Star Wars bear."

"What? You mean Chewbacca?"

"No, no, that's not a good name. That's too Greek."

Jessica (Constance Wu) gets Eddie (Hudson Yang) the wrong birthday cake — and mistakes Chewie's moniker for... a Greek dessert?

"Remember, no gyros from the food court. I don't trust meat without bones."

Jessica (Constance Wu) has strong feelings about Greek things, clearly

"If you tell anyone, I'm going to force-feed you your spleen through your nose."

"Yeah, I'm trying to be scared. I just keep picturing you doing jazz hands."

Rick (Nathan Fillion) is seeing musical theater major Slaughter (Adam Baldwin) in a whole new light

"This is feeling less like an exam and more like the last 10 minutes of Saw."

For Elias (Rick Cosnett), being locked in a room with a bomb is a real horror story

SUPERGIRL

"How can you eat sticky buns for breakfast every day and stay so thin?"

"I'm an alien."

Kara (Melissa Benoist) gives a waitress her out-of-this-world diet tip

SUPERGIRL(Bonus Quote!)

"What's next, a book deal? A reality show? Keeping Up With the Kryptonians?"

Hank (David Harewood) thinks it's unreal that Supergirl gave an interview

"That's not a small issue, Pop."

"Hey, you're not a small man, son. I'm sure that's why the Deputy Mayor likes doing business with you."

Lucious (Terrence Howard), treacherous as ever, isn't above using son Andre's (Trai Byers) manhood to help clean up an Empire Entertainment rapper's legal record

"Khloe Kardashian is getting major backlash from all of her fans on social media. They're really upset with her because she vowed to be by Lamar Odom's bedside every second of his recovery after his drug overdose. Well, she has been posting pictures on social media of her lipstick, her makeup, her new haircut, pictures in the gym, promoting her new book..."

"What's her last name?"

Wendy hides her incredulity behind her tea cup as Hollywood Life's Chloe Melas shares tales of the public's misunderstanding of the First Family of Shameless Self-Promotion

"You know, more than one person escaped from Alcatraz...."

Listen to Jerry (played by Alcatraz alum Jorge Garcia), San Francisco PD Inspector Dunn — he knows!

"Will you put this in my veggie burger and not tell me where it is?"

How does Dylan (Reid Ewing) take his medication when Haley (Sarah Hyland) isn't around?

"I'm trying to project strength and confidence."

"Then maybe you should lose the Garfield 'I hate Mondays' mug on the mantle."

"Good catch."

"I've waited my whole life to hear you say those words."

Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) is clearly flashing back to childhood ball games as he helps his father Jay (Ed O'Neill) film a video for an awards banquet

"Why me? 'Cause I'm your sister... "

"Yes."

"... or 'cause I'm your sista?"

Maggie (Kelly McCreary), pointedly asking why she'd be Amelia's (Caterina Scorsone) go-to for a question about racism

"Holy crap. I've made out with The Flash?!"

Linda Park (Malese Jow), after discovering the speedster is her ex-boyfriend

"Hey, if we're going to be The Flash's sidekicks, we should probably join CrossFit or something."

Iris (Candice Patton) makes a suggestion to Linda Park

"Looks like that breakdown is going well."

Liz Taylor (Denis O'Hare), as a bloody, naked John comes running up to the front desk

"It's called dignity. Have some. It's free."

A snarky Bonnie (Kat Graham) gives frenemy Enzo some advice

"Kill me now.... Do not translate that."

Elizabeth (Portia de Rossi) has her fill of "babysitting" "nerd queen" Susan at a dinner with foreign dignitaries