Oscars 2016: Best And Worst Moments
WAIT, THESE PEOPLE ARE JUDGING RED-CARPET FASHION?
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EDGIEST JOKE
You knew Chris Rock's monologue was going to address the #OscarsSoWhite controversy directly and oh-so-brashly. But the host's whopper about why African-Americans never protested the lack of black nominees in decades past was both startlingly political and bruisingly funny: "We were too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won Best Cinematographer," Rock said. "When your grandmother's swinging from a tree, it's really hard to care about Best Documentary, Foreign Short."
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NEWEST OSCAR BEEF
May Sofia Vergara rest easy 'til she checks Twitter on Monday morning. At that point, she shouldn't be surprised if she takes some heat from Jada Pinkett Smith (or her fans) for hooting and clapping about this brutal joke from Chris Rock (about Pinkett Smith's personal protest over the lack of diversity in this year's nominees): "Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I wasn't invited!"
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PLUNGINGEST NECKLINE
Gurrrrl, that map on Charlize Theron's torso took us all the way to the tip of Argentina! (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
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WORST PODIUM SCHTICK
Did Ryan Gosling accidentally enrage the Oscar telecast writing staff? Or were said jokesmiths too gobsmacked by the actor's matinee-idol looks to come up with anything better than his groaner about the Best Adapted Screenplay category honoring the "best at adapting to whatever harsh conditions and obstacles were thrown in its way"?
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CRAZIEST CAMEO
A pre-taped segment inserting black actors into nominated films was decidedly hit or miss, but Leslie Jones knocked us to the floor with hilarity when she stepped in for The Revenant's violent bear, throttling Leonardo DiCaprio and shouting, "My agent called you twice! I called you 16 times! You should've called me back!"
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LEAST SUCCESSFUL SPEECH
Given that Academy Awards producers were already running winners' lists of "thank yous" across the bottoms of our screens, why did The Danish Girl's Alicia Vikander waste her time at the podium as Best Supporting Actress to do nothing more than... run through a list of "thank yous"?
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LEAST ENLIGHTENED ZINGER
Oh, Chris Rock, we were going to let slide your monologue dig at the "Ask Her More" movement, but we've got to call you on the carpet for this cringe-worthy bit of misogyny from later in the telecast: "Of all the girl-on-girl movies I watched this year, I've got to say Carol was about the third best." #DefiniteNo
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BEST ACTING AT THE PODIUM
We know Congress isn't about to let President Obama achieve too many more policy initiatives before he leaves office, but couldn't both Democrats and Republicans agree that Tina Fey needs to show her genius face at every major awards show for the rest of her life? Handing out the statuette for Best Production Design alongside straight man Steve Carell, Fey brought the LOLs by describing The Revenant set as "the thing where a bear lives" and then slurring, "the nonimees are..."
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BEST ACTING IN A PRE-TAPED SEGMENT
Bow down to Angela Bassett and her mock seriousness as she presented a Black History Month highlight reel paying tribute to the cinematic works of... Jack Black?
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MOST ASS-KICKING MONTAGE
Even without a brief appearance by Chewbacca, the shoot-'em-up brilliance of the Outstanding Achievement in Sound Editing segment was about as terrific a tribute to a non-star-studded category as one could've imagined.
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MOST ENTHUSIASTIC AUDIENCE MEMBER
How ridiculously adorable was Room star Jacob Tremblay, standing up and craning his neck to check out presenters C-3PO, R2-D2 and BB-8?
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"WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?" STATUETTE
Wait, so the Oscars brings out the Minions at 10:07pm ET? On behalf of the Academy, we'd like to apologize to all the parents who let their exhausted, cranky kids stay up late to see their favorite characters.
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MOST SINCERE GRATITUDE
Bridge of Spies' Mark Rylance spent half of his Best Supporting Actor speech paying homage to co-star Tom Hanks. "If you ever wonder about acting with Tom Hanks — would it help? — the answer is clearly 'yes!'"
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BEST IMPROV META JOKE
Louis C.K., announcing the winner for Best Documentary Short, extended the suspense by briefly pretending the 2016 ceremony's most prolific winner had somehow snuck into the night's most obscure category and snatched away the prize: "And the Oscar goes to... Mad Max?"
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MOST INSPIRING SPEECH
Picking up the prize for Best Documentary Short, A Girl in the River director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy reminded the audience that, sometimes, the Academy Awards can be about more than pretty gowns, amusing banter and multi-million-dollar marketing campaigns. "This week, the Pakistani prime minister has said that he will change the law on honor killings after watching this film," Obaid-Chinoy declared. And just like that, she redefined what it means to win on Oscar night.
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CUTEST MOMENT
We didn't pay all that much attention to what Beasts of No Nation's Abraham Attah and Room's Jacob Tremblay were saying as they presented Best Live Action Short, because dammit, they needed little wooden boxes to reach the mic — and also, the adorableness!!!
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MOST POWERFUL MOMENT
Lady Gaga's performance of "Til It Happens to You" — from the documentary The Hunting Ground — was affecting in its own right. But when she was joined on stage by dozens of survivors of sexual assault, it became not just one of the great moments of the 2016 Academy Awards, but one for the Oscar ages.
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MOST UNFORTUNATE FACT-CHECKING
Oh, dear. We'd like to think Best Original Song winner Sam Smith had his heart in the right place when took to the podium to accept his trophy for the ghastly "The Writing's on the Wall." But given that a 15-second Google search might've alerted him to prior wins by the likes of Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, and, um, a certain music legend by the name of Elton John, how the hell did he have the nerve to grab the mic and say, "I read an article a few months ago by Sir Ian McKellan, and he said that no openly gay man had ever won an Oscar. And if this is the case — even if it isn't the case — I wanna dedicate this to the LGBT community all around the world"?
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BEST BULLY PULPIT
The Revenant's Leonardo DiCaprio, taking home the prize for Best Actor, turned his victory speech into a call to action to combat global warming, an issue that the actor called "the most urgent threat facing our entire species." Speaking for "indigenous people" and "the billions of underprivileged" most affected by climate change, DiCaprio noted that his own movie's production had to "travel to the southern tip of the planet just to find snow." Adding that "we need to work together and stop procrastinating," DiCaprio turned what many consider to be his long overdue win into something much bigger — and made us all that much happier about him taking home the statuette.