Quotes Of The Week For Dec. 7, 2014
web-therapy-rehab-quote
WEB THERAPY
"As much as I don't believe in addiction as a disease, some of these places are wonderful for just sort of putting someone somewhere, while everyone else can have a rest."
Fiona (Lisa Kudrow) offers a singular view on the effectiveness of rehab facilities
supernatural
SUPERNATURAL
"You know, the badge means something."
"I made it at Kinkos."
"Yes, you did. Be proud of that."
After a deputy disrespects them, Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Sam (Jared Padalecki) discuss their (fake) FBI IDs, with an ad lib from Ackles
supernatural2
SUPERNATURAL (Bonus Quote!)
"Ah, geez. I knew losing 10 pounds that fast was too good to be true."
Sheriff Donna (Briana Buckmaster) after finding out monsters were responsible for sucking out fat at the spa last season
quotes_mindy_kramer
THE MINDY PROJECT
"We don't need a Kramer, and if we needed one, Morgan's more that energy."
Danny (Chris Messina) cites Seinfeld as he explains why Peter (Adam Pally) as a nosy neighbor is not a good thing
ouat
ONCE UPON A TIME
"Look at this mess. A good mayor makes sure that these things are kept up to code."
"Yeah, well, if the mayor only has to worry about one villain — and it's herself — that frees up a lot of time for infrastructure. I've had other issues!"
Mary Margaret (Ginnifer Goodwin) could do without backseat mayor-ing from Regina (Lana Parrilla)
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ONCE UPON A TIME (Bonus Quote!)
"Regina, I'm not afraid of you...."
"But you really, really should be."
Regina (Lana Parrilla) reminds Robin Hood (Sean Maguire) of her famously wicked ways.
red-band-society-pam-jim-quote
RED BAND SOCIETY
"You know as well as I do, office romances never work. Pam and Jim are fake! Fake!"
Nurse Kenji (Wilson Cruz) gives relationship advice to naive Nurse Brittany
the mentalist
THE MENTALIST
"Hey, Cho! How are you doing?"
"Good. And you?"
"Good."
"Not going to Washington?"
"No."
"Not marrying Pike?"
"No."
"OK."
Always with an economy of words, Cho (Tim Kang) boils down Lisbon's (Robin Tunney) tempestuous summer down to barely 10 words
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SLEEPY HOLLOW
"You brought roots to a sword fight?"
Abbie (Nicole Beharie) mocks Henry's (John Noble) choice of weapon... until they knock the sword right outta her hands
castle
CASTLE
"Look, I don't want any trouble...."
"Well you've got trouble. Ryan Trouble."
"I don't know what that means."
Detective Ryan (Seamus Dever) labors to assign himself an action hero-like catchphrase
arrow
ARROW
"What's that [salmon ladder] for?"
[Dreamy sigh] "Distracting me from work."
While Cisco oohs and ahhs over Oliver's gizmos, Caitlin (Danielle Panabaker) takes notice of Felicity's (Emily Bett Rickards) favorite "toy."
arrow2
ARROW (Bonus Quote!)
"Bart Allen, right? Did you get hit by a bus or something?"
"Barry."
Captain Lance (Paul Blackthorne) unwittingly gets his DC Comics alter egos mixed up. (One could say he went with his first... impulse?
selfie-eliza-reverse-santa-quote
SELFIE
"Hey, did you know there's this guy that comes through and empties every trash into one giant trash? He's like Reverse Santa! Of garbage!"
"Yes, he's the janitor."
"So I shouldn't leave cookies for him?"
Eliza (Karen Gillan), learning the logistics of a late night at the office from Henry (John Cho)
danson-inset
CSI
"Could be our first impression of the killer."
Russell (Ted Danson) sums up a bloody face-print at the scene of the crime
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MARRY ME
"I'm proud of myself. That was some Devious Maids-level scheming. I mean, I've never actually seen the show, but I assume they're pretty devious?"
"Oh, yeah, but just in maid stuff."
Jake (Ken Marino), getting a quick soap opera lesson from Kevin (Tim Meadows) after solving a family crisis
the flash
THE FLASH
"I have a cousin who got hit by lightning once. He just developed a stutter."
Diggle (David Ramsey), still struggling to process Barry Allen's super speed
the-comeback-lassoo-calf-quote
THE COMEBACK
"Hope it's not the cow I just lassooed. It was a baby."
Valerie (Lisa Kudrow) struggles with an improv-comedy exercise that takes her from "lassooing" to "chopping meat"
mom-bonnie-case-of-wine-quote
MOM
"When Jill gets out of rehab, we really have to give her a nice gift for letting us stay here."
"Yeah. How about a case of wine?"
Bonnie (Allison Janney) briefly forgets Christy's (Anna Faris) duty as a sponsor to their addict friend Jill while enjoying housesitting duty at the woman's epic mansion
vampire-diaries-bitter-quote
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
"Mmm, bitter! I wonder why..."
Damon (Ian Somerhalder) critiques Liv's blood after he and Elena down it like shots
vampire-diaries-bode-quote
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (Bonus Quote!)
"Cryptic question, accusatory tone... this doesn't bode well for me."
Alaric (Matt Davis) has always had terrible luck with women, so he knows exactly when he's made one mad
agents-of-shield
MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
"Don't die out there, OK?"
"[Shrugs] It's Canada."
Lance Hunter (Nick Blood) is not too worried about his Vancouver-based mission even if his ex Bobbi (Adrianne Palicki) is
shield
MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
[Sam, off camera]"He's sending the Cavalry — sweet!"
"Sam, what are you, 13? You can't do a sit-up, you think you're gonna hook up with the Cavalry?"
Agent Billy Koenig (Patton Oswalt) could do without his brother (?) Sam's comments from the peanut gallery while video-chatting with the Director
blackish-northwest-airlines-quote
BLACK-ISH
"That's what you get when you make small talk on a Southwest flight."
Stevens (Peter Mackenzie) explains the origins of his marriage to a dim-witted woman
mccarthys-pregnant-quote
THE MCCARTHYS
"We should try and get Tommy and Jackie back together."
"Good idea! Maybe he dumped her in high school because she wasn't pregnant enough."
Marjorie (Laurie Metcalf) often forgets Jackie's got a bun in the oven; Ronny (Tyler Ritter) is always there to remind her
the-goldbergs
THE GOLDBERGS
"Hey, stupid, it's Chinese fries."
Barry (Troy Gentile) corrects Adam (Sean Giambrone) after he wonders if they can get some free French fries from his friend's parents' Chinese restaurant