Quotes Of The Week For Jan. 19, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Jan. 19 through Jan. 25, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"As soon as we get home, I'm going hat shopping — and this time, I'm going big!"

Gemma (Beth Behrs) is obsessed with her big, fancy church hats

THIS IS US

"Do we really need to have weapons everywhere like we're Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"

"You might need to rephrase that, because it actually sounds pretty cool."

"Yeah, you're right."    

After their home invasion, Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) and Randall (Sterling K. Brown) make like Brad and Angelina

THE CONNERS (Bonus Quote!)

"I have something to tell you, Grandpa, and I hope you'll still love me afterward. I don't care about football."

"[Gasps] I do still love you, but everything's different now. I understand the gay thing, but this is a choice."

The typically open-minded Dan (John Goodman) can't quite wrap his head around Mark's (Ames McNamara) disinterest in sports

THE CONNERS

"You've seen my underwear, it's not lace. It's just got that many holes in it."

Darlene (Sara Gilbert) is "can't afford new underwear" broke

THE GOOD DOCTOR

"It's a little early in the morning to be sucking up, Reznick."

"Not for me. I like to get a jump on things."

Morgan's (Fiona Gubelmann) ass-kissing starts a bit too early for Andrews (Hill Harper)

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

"You're jostling the fetus. You can't— you can't run in your condition."

"Uh, yes, I can. I was advised by my midwife that I should continue to work out."

"Maybe you want to consult your blacksmith, see what he has to say about it."

Larry (Larry David) doesn't want to see Susie's very pregnant friend Randi (Lennon Parham) "jostle" her fetus on a treadmill

GOOD TROUBLE

"Why are balls always the measure of a man's strength when we know it's the weakest part of your body? Also, the ugliest — no offense."

Mariana (Cierra Ramirez), getting brutally honest with her boyfriend

PARTY OF FIVE

"What does a training bra train anyway? Don't they kinda, like, know what to do on their own?"

Beto (Niko Guardado) has questions about preteen undergarments

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

"Dammit, the Red Wedding is about to start, and I don't see the tea cakes anywhere!"

Sara (Caity Lotz) crashes Rasputin's dinner party, where he plans to poison the Romanovs via baked goods

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (Bonus Quote!)

"Ray, who else saved the multiverse?"

"Oh, well, The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman..."

"What, no Superman?"

"No, Superman was there. He's very handsome."

Ray (Brandon Routh) recalls meeting Earth-96's Man of Steel (also played by Brandon Routh)

GREY'S ANATOMY

"Jo stole a baby."

"I did not steal a baby."

"Well, that's what I said when I stole a baby."

"Why are people stealing babies?!?"

Link (Chris Carmack) is stunned to find out from Jo (Camilla Luddington) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) how commonplace child abductions are in their social circle

GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)

"Wow, I figured 'cause you have two kids together, you live together, you marry everyone... but I guess you have been busy, haven't you?"

Jackson (Jesse Williams), upon learning from Owen that he and Teddy aren't engaged

PROJECT RUNWAY

"The pants flood my basement!"

Guest judge Ashley Longshore has a "fashiongasm" over Nancy's outfit

THE BOLD TYPE

"How's it going out there?"

"It's good. Like a party. Like Fyre Fest."

Kat (Aisha Dee) fills Patrick (Peter Vack) in on how (poorly) the employees are handling the turnover at Scarlet

VANDERPUMP RULES

"Who gets bit by a spider? Was he, like, hanging out in a comic book?" 

Stassi, upon hearing why Sandoval had to pay a visit to the hospital

BATWOMAN

"Do you ever feel like you're hiding from the world?"

"I'm literally standing in the shadows."

Sophie tries to unburden her soul on Lady Dark Knight (Ruby Rose)

STATION 19

"Ooh, a text from my hot doctor lover."

"You know, you don't have to call him that every time you refer to him."

"Which one — hot or doctor? 'Cause he's both."

"Lover. It's very 1978, and not in a good way."

"Well, I'm bringing it back."

"Please don't."

Travis (Jay Hayden) would really, really prefer that Vic (Barrett Doss) just call Jackson "Jackson"

STATION 19 (Bonus Quote!)

"There's a large vehicle blocking the door. You can't karate-chop that away."

Pruitt (Miguel Sandoval), after Nico tries to "taekwond-open" Joe's rear entrance

STAR TREK: PICARD

"Tea, Earl Grey... decaf."

Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) has tweaked his drink order slightly since we last saw him

THE GOOD PLACE

"How do you get the 'of' in your name? Is it just, like, where you hung out the most? Like, am I Eleanor of the Cheesecake Factory Bar?"

Eleanor (Kristen Bell) has vital questions for famed philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria

PERFECT HARMONY

"I watched Doctor Who and it made no sense. I mean, the bad guys are trash cans!"

Ginny (Anna Camp) confesses to a prospective boss that she is in fact no Whovian

BLACK LIGHTNING

"Gambi...? Superman is real."

Jefferson (Cress Williams) hits Gambi with the No. 1 headline from his visit to an alternate Earth

ARROW

"I woke you up because your friend Bianca was kidnapped."

"There hasn't been any crime in Star City in 20 years."

"What is that, like, the city's motto now?"

Laurel (Katie Cassidy) gives 2040 socialite Mia (Katherine McNamara) a rude awakening

NCIS

"Hey, I was told this job was for an assistant M.E. — as in dead bodies."

"My apologies for being alive."

Jimmy's (creepy) would-be protege (guest star Timothy Hornor) is irked to only be dealing with a POI's hearing loss

CRIMINAL MINDS

"The NSA is going to be a tough nut to crack. Do you know anyone over there? A Deep Throat who can Deep Throat me?"

"Uh... No. No, I don't."

Tara (Aisha Tyler) has had her fill of a BAU-nagging conspiracy nut

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

"In a recent commercial, Planters announced that the company mascot Mr. Peanut has died. In accordance with his wishes, he has been cremated."

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