Quotes Of The Week: Best Zingers From Big Bang, Scandal, SVU, Arrow, Good Wife, Mindy And More!
1-Arrow
Arrow
"It could be worse. My secret identity is 'his black driver.'"
Diggle (David Ramsey), in response to MIT grad Felicity grumbling about her official job as Oliver's secretary
2-QOTW-SVU
Law & Order: SVU
"Homicide! I mean, SVU...."
The retired Sgt. John Munch (Richard Belzer), reminding us of the well-traveled TV character's roots as he incorrectly answers his desk phone
3-quotes-mindyproject-m&m
The Mindy Project
"I'm dramatic? You tried to shut down the M&M store because you thought the brown lady M&M stole your look."
Danny (Chris Messina) to Mindy (Mindy Kaling) after she accuses him of unnecessary histrionics
4-TBBT
The Big Bang Theory
"Awkward silence, Sheldon's on his phone, no touching.... Somebody's having date night!"
Penny (Kaley Cuoco) observing Sheldon and Amy at dinner
5-The-Good-Wife
The Good Wife
"You can't keep disagreeing with me and pretend it's an agreement."
"I agree."
Marilyn (Melissa George) and Eli (Alan Cumming) continuing their power struggle for Peter's ear
6-Parks-and-Rec
Parks and Recreation
"September 25th... 'On a scale of 98 to 100, how annoying is Leslie Knope? Cuz u know it ain't less than 98. All my number-sign True Blood fans know what's up.'"
Court stenographer Ms. Beavers (Helen Slayton-Hughes), reading Donna's Twitter feed aloud at the town hearing
7-The-View
The View
"The thing is, I can't imagine a penis growing inside of me."
Punky Brewster star and guest cohost Soleil Moon Frye, mother of two girls, upon finding out she's pregnant with a boy
8-Scandal
Scandal
"If your whore had died today, brave and strong, protecting a congressman inside the Capitol, with the nation watching... Honey, the nails, the wood, the cross you would build and hammer her on, the worship you would feel for the rest of your days, praying to St. Olivia Pope.... I'd lose our little war. I'd lose."
Mellie (Bellamy Young) deflecting husband Fitz's suggestion that Olivia being blown up is her "happy ending"
The Voice - Season 5
The Voice
"Why is Adam such an idiot? Why don't you ask me that?"
Blake Shelton, responding to Carson Daly's query about why he used his "Steal" on Adam Levine's booted Battle Rounds contestant Nic Hawk
Kidnapped"
Beauty and the Beast
"Did I not shower before...?"
Amnesic Vincent (Jay Ryan), asking about his past grooming habits, when a suspicious Catherine remarks that he changed clothes and showered
Modern-Family
Modern Family
"Don't worry, Mom — if I hear that while you're gone, I won't answer. I'll just hide where no one can find me."
Luke (Nolan Gould), mistaking Claire's (Julie Bowen) smoke detector test for the doorbell
OUAT
Once Upon a Time
"Roast Swan! [Giggles] That's amusing. You'll get that later."
Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle) noting Flashback Regina's fitting choice of dinner entrée
Episode 103
Masters of Sex
"Like marmalade?"
A naive patient (Mae Whitman) to OB/GYN William Masters (Michael Sheen), when he lists several contraceptive options, including "jelly"
The Phone Upgrade
The Millers
"This is nothing: I practically pulled down his pants and spanked him at a Souplantation a few years ago."
Carol (Margo Martindale), easing her son Nathan's (Will Arnett) guilt after he yelled at his father in a cell-phone shop
Witches-of-East-End
Witches of East End
"The first rule of witch club is don't talk about witch club."
Wendy (Mädchen Amick), helping ease her nieces into their heretofore-unknown birthright