Quotes Of The Week: Best Zingers From Nashville, New Girl, Revolution, Supernatural, Glee And More

Nashville

"I guess nice just ain't my color."

Juliette (Hayden Panettiere), muttering to herself after her attempt to offer support to young rival Layla gets bitchily shot down

Supernatural

"So you went from fighting Heavenly battles to nuking taquitos."

Dean (Jensen Ackles), summing up former angel Castiel's (Misha Collins) new job as a convenience store clerk

Saturday Night Live

"A new restaurant has opened in New York City called Maid Cafe, in which the waitresses dress up like French maids and call diners 'master.' Maid Cafe is the first restaurant to be created for the sole purpose of inspiring an episode of SVU."

Cecily Strong, killing it on "Weekend Update"

American Horror Story: Coven

"When I plant a fat-ass cracker bitch, I expect her to stay planted. Not come up like a damn ragweed."

Voodoo priestess Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) lamenting her floundering anti-witch crusade

Glee

"What if I run into Dan Savage in the steam room at the gym? I mean, I'll be humiliated."

Kurt (Chris Colfer), running worst-case scenarios after realizing there was a typo on what was supposed to be his "It Gets Better" back tattoo

Arrow

"What were her qualifications? Aside from an abundance of short skirts?"

"Her skirts aren't...that short."

Isabel (Summer Glau), questioning Oliver (Stephen Amell) about Felicity's promotion from I.T. girl to assistant to the CEO

The Crazy Ones

"Anything you want. I'm a lot like James Dean that way."

Glenn 'Mr. Finger' Hastings (Ed Asner), flirting with Andrew (Hamish Linklater) after the young ad exec tells him he's going to need "a little favor"

New Girl

"Hey, what's up Jason Street?"

Nick (Jake Johnson), greeting a wheelchair-bound Winston (Lamorne Morris)

Once Upon a Time

"Now you can have legs whenever you want. Or a fin. Whatever Prince Eric is into these days."

Regina (Lana Parrilla) making good on her trade with Ariel (JoAnna Garcia Swisher) — the enchanted bracelet for Pandora's Box

Scandal

"You're way better at picking out hookers than you are china patterns."

Cyrus (Jeff Perry), commending Mellie's knack for finding a "sweet, innocent... whore" call girl for Daniel Douglas

The Big Bang Theory

"Why is the key always confidence? How come it's never love handles and flop sweat?"

Raj (Kunal Nayyar), reacting to Wolowitz's (Simon Helberg) advice about an upcoming romantic situation

Bones

"Oh man, I so wish I could just hang out in the waiting room, smoking cigars with the other dads."

Angela (Michaela Conlin), getting grossed out as hubby Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) prepares for the birth of the fly incubating in his neck

Sleepy Hollow

"Flummoxed by a foreign concept that resembles close to nothing of what you know? I can't imagine how that feels."

Ichabod (Tom Mison), being snarky when Abbie (Nicole Beharie) is stymied by a document written in a secret code

Revolution

"I always dreamed of cooking with my daughter..."

Rachel (Elizabeth Mitchell), chattling with Charlie as they brew up a batch of explosives to use on Truman, Horn et al

The Vampire Diaries

"So you live in this giant mansion with two doppelgangers that are destined to end up together? I swear there's a sitcom in there somewhere."

Tessa (Janina Gavankar), assessing Damon, Elena and Stefan's living situation