Quotes Of The Week From Big Brother, Masters Of Sex, Sharknado 2, The Fosters, Under The Dome And More!

BIG BROTHER

"I haven't seen a cowboy cry this much since Brokeback Mountain."

Frankie, attempting to comfort an emotional Caleb when his crush Amber is nominated for eviction

CHASING LIFE

"My uncle paid for my fertility treatment? Sounds like a reality show."

"A reality show I'd totally watch!"

April (Italia Ricci) and Beth (Aisha Dee), discussing April's mysterious benefactor

CHASING LIFE (Bonus Quote!)

"Let's just say there's an upside to sleeping with a perfectionist."

Beth (Aisha Dee), getting cheeky with April about her relationship with Graham

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!

"At long last, Bachelorette Andi Dorfman will realize her lifelong dream — of losing the last name Dorfman."

Jimmy Kimmel likely speaking a truth, during his after-the After the Rose telecast

FINDING CARTER

"I'm quizzing Taylor on SAT vocabulary flashcards."

"I'm really uncomfortable and you guys are moving way too fast."

"... We're only on the C's."

Max (Alex Saxon) misunderstands Carter (Kathryn Prescott) when she teases him about his relationship with Taylor (Anna Jacoby-Heron)

DEFIANCE

"‎She wasn't a 'whore.' She was a handmaiden."

"Potato, po-tah-to."

Yewll (Trenna Keating) tells Datak (Tonny Curran) she's not the type of friend who helps hide "dead whores"

LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER

"'Hoping'? That is not good enough, Russia! You can't just watch videos of them f—king and then toss them aside. They're not Kardashians!"

John Oliver, appalled at Russia's blase approach to studying the mating rituals of geckos in space

DOG WITH A BLOG

"It's times like this I wish I never dumped my witch girlfriend by text, back when I was a human."

"What?!"

"Nah, nah, I'm just kidding — I've always been a talking dog. Though I did text-dump a witch once."

Stan (voiced by Emmy nominee Stephen Full), always keeping Avery (G Hannelius) guessing about his "special" origins

MYSTERY GIRLS

"Too many buns, not enough wieners."

"Story of my life!"

Charlie (Jennie Garth) explaining to Nick (Miguel Pinzon) why she's going undercover as a hot dog vendor

MYSTERY GIRLS (Bonus Quote!)

"I'm Nick Diaz, assistant and improvisation master. Guess what I'm doing right now!"

"Desperately trying to win approval from a stranger!"

Nick (Miguel Pinzon), making a poor first impression on Holly's sister

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

"If I can't spell it or pronounce it, I can't go there."

Hanna (Ashley Benson), after Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) suggests Myanmar as their get-away-from-Rosewood destination

SHARKNADO 2: THE SECOND ONE

‎"The shark... kept chasing me... and had this huge scar across its face.... It's like he knew who I was."

New amputee April (Tara Reid) ‎tells Finn about her personal nightmare at 20,000 feet

SUITS

"How important is the meeting with Allison?"

"He says it's urgent."

"Tell him to reschedule."

"That's weird. I already did."

Donna (Sarah Rafferty) and Harvey (Gabriel Macht) discuss the latter's appointment with Mike

TEEN WOLF

"Maybe we need to think like Stiles."

"Like a hyperactive spaz?"

Malia (Shelley Hennig) and Derek (Tyler Hoechlin) definitely have differing opinions of Scott's BFF

TRUE BLOOD

"Is Beyonce on our show?"

True Blood's Carrie Preston, tuning in a bit too early to live-tweet the latest episode and catching one of HBO's "mini-concerts" instead

THE FOSTERS

"Movie and a lecture? Yeah... How about we don't."

"So, no movie then?"

Mariana (Cierra Ramirez) turns down Mat (Jordan Rodrigues) when he asks her out on a date

THE LEFTOVERS

"You get statements from everybody in their search party?"

"Yes, sir. Mike's at the Big E getting yellow pads in bulk."

Det. Vitello (Wayne Duvall), sarcastically assuring Chief Garvey (Justin Theroux) that he's taking seriously their investigation into the murder of one of the unspeaking, note-writing Guilty Remnant

THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON

"This is like the comedy version of Fifty Shades of Grey."

Julia Roberts, playing a hilariously intense game of Face Balls with Jimmy Fallon

MASTERS OF SEX

"I just had you up against the wall of our bathroom. That doesn't exactly qualify us for the cover of the Saturday Evening Post."

Bill (Michael Sheen) explains to Virginia (Lizzy Caplan) why their (role-playing) relationship isn't for the masses

YOUNG & HUNGRY

"We're here tonight to get to know each other and find out that we do not like each other."

"Okay... I understand quantum physics, but this is confusing."

Gabi (Emily Osment) and Cooper (Jesse McCartney) on a puzzling first date

THE QUEST

"I have two brothers and a twin sister. So I was in the womb competitively."

Contestant Katie, making quite the first impression on the other Paladins

UNDER THE DOME

"Hey, you told us you died and we got on board. Have some team spirit."

Norrie (Mackenzie Lintz), after Melanie (Grace Victoria Cox) is skeptical about the powers of the dome

WITCHES OF EAST END

"Twincest? Seriously?!"

Freya (Jenna Dewan-Tatum) in disbelief over Frederick's "friends" from Asgard

MAJOR CRIMES

‎"Michael, my dear, dear old friend — your television show is sliding further and further off the bubble as we speak."

Provenza (GW Bailey) breaks it to Tao that the cop show he consults for may have a killer for a star