Quotes Of The Week From Veep, Hannibal, Reign, Suburgatory, Supernatural, Big Bang And More

Veep

"I gotta go to the bathroom. Do they have a bathroom here, or do they put their turds up in the Cloud?"

Selina (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), unimpressed with startup company Clovis and their high-tech headquarters

Reign

"Forgive me, father. Since my last confession, I have taken the Lord's name in vain many times... and ordered the assassination of a dozen Scottish visitors. I struck my servant — a slap — which I regret, because it was a loss of self-control, and she's been sulky ever since. Also, my cousin, Hortensa, is here. Expect worse of me. I loathe her."

Queen Catherine (Megan Follows) doesn't quite understand the concept of confession

Once Upon a Time

"Where I come from, a simple thank you would suffice."

"Where you come from, people bathe in the river and use pine cones for money."

Flashback Regina (Lana Parrilla), dismissing Robin Hood's (Sean Maguire) request for appreciation after saving her royal bacon

Supernatural

"You're with me, Romeo."

"Sounds good, Buffy."

Dean (Jensen Ackles) to shapeshifter David (Nathaniel Bozulic) as they hunt for his captured werewolf ex-girlfriend Violet (Melissa Roxburgh)

Nashville

"I know. But honey, you're standing out here in a field in your hospital gown. It's not making a good case for you."

Rayna (Connie Britton), gently refuting Scarlett's (Clare Bowen) assertion that she's not crazy

The Colbert Report

"So when I heard they were making a new Star Wars movie, let's just say I was the one to shoot first."

Host Stephen Colbert, relating his... enthusiasm (and making a dirty, nerdy in-joke) upon learning there'd be another film in the popular sci-fi franchise

Family Guy

"All I know about sex is from internet porn, so I'm very
excited to try 'buffering.'"

Chris (Seth Green) preparing for his first night with girlfriend Pam

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Apparently my every move continues to fascinate them. Tonight's special issue surveillance package included Fake Yuppie Not Checking Her Messages at the Bus Stop, Impostor Homeless Man — mildly offensive — and the Hipster following me looks familiar."

Ex-agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders), filling in Pepper Potts on the assorted U.S government tails following her

Mad Men

"She really likes you."

"Well, that blouse says she likes everyone."

Bobby (Mason Vale Cotton) remarking on his teacher's attitude, while Betty (January Jones) remarks on the younger woman's decision not to wear a bra

The Tomorrow People

"Astrid, when I kiss you next time, it's not going to be because the world is ending."

John (Luke Mitchell) making Astrid (Madeleine Mantock) — and us — swoon after she planted a kiss on him earlier in the episode

Person of Interest

"What is going on?! I can barely believe this is a police station."

Decima target Grace Hendricks (guest star Carrie Preston), marveling at the number of faux cops she has dealt with at Fusco's precinct

Suburgatory

"I'm super into tanning, nail care, red carpets, my housekeeper Carmen, blind items, Brody Jenner, Bentleys, apps — both foodstuffs and the kind on my phone. I'm really into Molly.

"Molly?

"My friend Molly Bensworth — we met on a teen tour. She's hella chill, but she drinks too much.

Dalia (Carly Chaikin), explaining her extracurricular activities to a college admissions officer

Faking It

"She's so two-dimensional, she's practically a character on Glee."

Shane (Michael J. Willett) describing mean girl classmate Lauren (Bailey Buntain)

Devious Maids

"Why can't he just marry me and have gay sex on the
weekends like every other husband in Hollywood?"

Carmen (Roselyn Sanchez) freaking out when her fake engagement to
closeted musician Alejandro hits a snag

NCIS

"I went back to the doctor this morning... She told me I have pseudofolliculitis."

"Is that a Mary Poppins song?... Did you get a note from the doctor for Gibbs?"

McGee (Sean Murray), explaining to DiNozzo (Michael Weatherly) his unshaven appearance

The Mindy Project

"We'll be like Dennis the Menace and Mr. Wilson — except the only time I wear overalls is when I'm on my period."

Mindy (Mindy Kaling), getting excited about moving in next to her colleague/erstwhile love interest Danny

Orphan Black

"That Shakira-haired look-alike? Gone. Poof."

Angela (Inga Cadranel), for all her faults, pretty much nailing the description of Helena's mop

Hannibal

"This meat has an interesting flavor — it's bracing, notes of citrus."

"My palate isn't as refined as yours."

"Apart from humane considerations, it's more flavorful for animals to be stress-free prior to slaughter. This animal tastes frightened."

Hannibal (Mads Mikkelsen), commenting on the "meat" — presumably investigative journalist Freddie Lounds — procured by Will (Hugh Dancy)

Grey's Anatomy

"You're offering me your hospital... like you're Willy Wonka and you're handing me a chocolate factory?"

Cristina (Sandra Oh), registering shock as Burke hands her the keys to his pimped-out hospital in Zurich

Grey's Anatomy (Bonus Quote!)

"...Remember that his mama took your eyebrows.."

Meredith (Ellen Pompeo), leaving Cristina a voicemail list of reasons not to do anything rash with ex-love Burke

The Voice

"My gosh, Sisaundra, you make me look so smart! And nobody's ever been able to do that!"

Coach Blake Shelton, singing the praises of contestant Sisaundra Lewis after her show-stopping performance of Steve Perry's "Oh Sherrie"

The Big Bang Theory

"Is this the first time you've lost someone close to you?"

"Oh, no. I've already had to say goodbye to eleven Doctor Whos."

Professor Proton (Bob Newhart) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons), when Sheldon has trouble coping with the professor's death

The Big Bang Theory (Bonus Quote!)

"Well, then... what am I doing in a swamp... dressed like Friar Tuck?"

The recently deceased Professor Proton (Bob Newhart), trying to get at the root of Sheldon's vision of him as a Jedi mentor in Dagobah

Revenge

"I don't even get my hands dirty when driving."

Conrad (Henry Czerny), explaining to Aiden (Barry Sloane) why he could never personally "take care of" Pascal

Arrow

"Bitch!"

"Bitch... with wi-fi."

Tablet-toting Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards), qualifying an "interrogation" subject's name-calling