Quotes Of The Week For June 14, 2015

"Before the dawn comes, we shall play cat's cradle with your entrails."

The devil's way of saying howdy to John and Cotton through Little John (Oliver Bell)

"This is the worst rap battle I've ever seen. I don't think there's ever been a rap battle with two guys in khaki pants."

Kaitlyn, watching in horror as her milquetoast suitors attempt to spit rhymes

"Ms. Wilson, it has been said of you that you could organize the D-Day landings and still have time left over for Iwo Jima."

"And, unlike in reality, I would have gotten Iwo Jima right."

Sue (Sufe Bradshaw) expands on a compliment from Mrs. Brewer (Juliet Pritner)

"Gary Walsh, you need to understand, is a 12-year-old boy trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl."

Tom James (Hugh Laurie) doesn't want any misconceptions about Selina's bag man

"He gave you back to me, then he took you away. It's Lucy and the football — he just keeps pulling you away."

Will (Hugh Dancy) makes a Peanuts reference as he ponders the way Hannibal keeps separating him from his surrogate daughter Abigail

"How do you get your hair to fall like that? It's softer than mine. What do you do? Do you use some special conditioner or something?"

Mariana (Cierra Ramirez) asks Wyatt (Alex Saxon) the questions we've all been wondering

"I would go to school in the morning, and my father would say, 'Keep your grades and your drawers up.'"

Aisha Tyler recalls how afraid her parents were that she would get pregnant

"She's with Seattle P.D. And guess what she does. Medical examiner! I mean, who writes this stuff, right?"

Vaughan (Steven Weber) has a laugh at the expense of Liv's occupation — and the show

"Make more [zombies] now, bitch!"

Liv (Rose McIver) taunts Blaine (David Anders) after injecting him with the zombie cure — and ensuring he won't be able to turn any more humans going forward

"Once a person has seen your ecstasy face, they're not invited to your bridal shower, baby shower, wedding, birthday party. Like, noooo!"

Wendy has hard and fast rules regarding social interaction with exes — and she makes no exceptions for Robert Pattinson's rumored desire to invite erstwhile love Kristen Stewart to his nuptials

"Where did she do it?"

"In the master bedroom, apparently. At the country house."

"Oh, I see. I shall have to have the carpet replaced, then."

Sir Malcolm (Timothy Dalton) has a very peculiar reaction to Vanessa's (Eva Green) news that his wife, Gladys, committed suicide

"Nice work, Uncle Tom."

Everlasting hopeful Shamiqua (Christie Laing) after Jay (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) successfully gets another black contestant to act more like Omarosa/NeNe Leakes to stay in the game

"Our bills are so big we have Williams, not Bills."

Wylie family patriarch Matt sums up their level of need

"Looks like our squatters are from your neck of the woods, kiddo."

"I'm from Denver."

Irisa (Stephanie Leonidas) won't be lumped in with other aliens

"This town needs you!"

"What this town needs is a sensitively worded obituary."

Doe Yewll (Trenna Keating) packs her bags, despite Amanda's protests