Quotes Of The Week For Feb. 23, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Feb. 23 through Feb. 29, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

the-walking-dead-my-true-skin-quote

THE WALKING DEAD

"Wait, are you just gonna leave that mask on?"

"Does my true skin disturb you?"

"Not at all. Weirdly, the opposite."

Foreplay and seduction are a little, um, different for Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and Alpha (Samantha Morton)

schitts-creek-annie-leibovitz-quote

SCHITT'S CREEK

"I'm looking for understated, Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair. I want us to look like two very rich people that have just woken up after fainting on a dusty old couch."

David (Dan Levy), describing the "simple" style that he wants for his and Patrick's engagement picture

supergirl-what-you-saw-in-him-quote

SUPERGIRL

"I never understood what you saw in him."

Mr. Mxyzptlk (Thomas Lennon) may have changed his appearance, but his opinion of Mon-El remains very much the same

grownish-family-emergency-quote

GROWN-ISH

"Forster, your sister's late. Again."

"Oh, she had... um... a family emergency... on her side. Yeah."

Could Sky (Halle Bailey) have possibly come up with a less believable excuse for her twin sister missing practice?

curb-your-enthusiasm-hallway-hog-quote

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

"I calculated your speed, my speed, the distance, my average urination time, and according to my calculations, I would've had to wait three or four minutes, whereas you only had to wait 12-15 seconds. I think it was the right move... I think you have bad walker etiquette, you're a hallway hog." 

Larry (Larry David), explaining to a handicapped Wally why he passed him in the hallway to get to the bathroom

good-girls-chinese-symbol-tattoo-quote

GOOD GIRLS

"Beth, you're not a scary gang-banger with throat tats. You're a mom with a Chinese symbol on your hip you got on spring break."

"Wait, I thought you got that lasered?"

"It is so expensive."

Annie (Mae Whitman) and Ruby (Retta) talk Beth (Christina Hendricks) down from going full gangster

the-voice-nick-jonas-blocked-you-quote

THE VOICE

"Am I the kinda artist you can write songs for?"

"I think I've submitted songs for you that you turned down."

"What?! Have you?"

"That's why I blocked you."

"OK, earned."

Kelly Clarkson goes fishing for a compliment from Nick Jonas... and reels in a revelation

the-voice-creepy-uncle-quote

THE VOICE (Bonus Quote!)

"Creepy uncles don't come to my Christmas."

"That's when you know it's you!"

Kelly Clarkson tries futilely to keep Blake Shelton from coming off like "the creepy uncle at Christmas" with a young contestant

family-guy-husbands-burdens-quote

FAMILY GUY

"You could just leave the house if you want. You are an adult."

"Brian, husbands are not adults. They are people who pay for things but are still somehow burdens."

Peter (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) explains to Brian (also MacFarlane) why he can't shrug off his grounding by Lois

bobs-burgers-steel-magnolias-quote

BOB'S BURGERS

"Who looks more totally '80s — me, who's wearing all neon and leg warmers... "

"... or me, who's dressed as Shirley MacLaine's beloved character Ouiser from the 1989 film Steel Magnolias?"

Tina (voiced by Dan Mintz) and Gene (Eugene Mirman), asking Louise to play favorites with their retro outfits

qotw-the-simpsons

THE SIMPSONS

"I've seen a lot for an 8-year-old. My parents have split up nearly a thousand times, my brother is a scab on society's knee, and every time I get a pony or make a friend, they get the hell out of town."

"You have lived quite a life."

"It's not all bad. I had a jazz friend... who died."

We never realized how tragic Lisa's (voiced by Yeardley Smith) childhood was until she spelled it all out for Professor Frink (Hank Azaria)

zoeys-extraordinary-playlist-vent-pillow

ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

"I have always found it helpful to vent when I'm feeling dissatisfied."

"I don't vent. I scream into a pillow."

Joan (Lauren Graham) doesn't have much use for touchy-feely advice, but thanks anyway, Zoey (Jane Levy)

Click here to return to the original post.

legends-of-tomorrow-sun-dont-shine-quote

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

"I will shove you where the sun don't shine just to shut you up." 

"You'd probably enjoy that."

[Constantine considers, nods in agreement]

Constantine (Matt Ryan) finds his cane (voiced by Robin Atkin Downes) to be a real pain

batwoman-all-that-from-blood-draw-quote

BATWOMAN

"Maybe these perceived flu-like symptoms are a manifestation of the guilt you feel for choosing Beth over Alice? And even though Alice miraculously survived, you drew a line in the sand that you can't erase, forever altering the dynamic between you and your twin."

"You got all that from a blood draw?"

Mary (Nicole Kang) knows a bit too well what ails stepsister Kate (Ruby Rose)

batwoman-lost-in-subtext-quote

BATWOMAN (Bonus Quote!)

"We should talk about what happened..."

"Talk? Why? Do you think letting me die on a linoleum floor got lost in subtext?"

Alice (Rachel Skarsten) has been left for dead by her sister one too many times!

ncis-los-angeles-didnt-have-first-name-quote

NCIS: LOS ANGELES

"We're not going to saddle our team with someone who's trying to find himself."

"You didn't have a first name until a couple of years ago!"

Sam (LL Cool J) calls out Callen's wariness of a would-be team addition

black-lightning-bygones-quote

BLACK LIGHTNING

"After you took out Joey Toledo, Tobias had me killed. I got better, so.... Bygones?

Back-from-the-dead Lady Eve (Jill Scott) makes nice with Gambi

the-rookie-public-defender-quote

THE ROOKIE

"Can I help?"

"What's your tolerance level for cranks and asshats wasting your time?"

"I'm a public defender."

Manning the tip lines is right up Wes' (Shawn Ashmore) alley

outmatched-youre-a-dick-quote

OUTMATCHED

"You're a dick!"

While everyone else puts on a good face, wee Leila (Oakley Bull) calls out her mom's snooty former classmate

single-parents-microdosing-lactaid-quote

SINGLE PARENTS

"I thought we were taking Graham and Sophie for pizza tonight! We've been planning this for a while. I've been microdosing Lactaid since Monday."

A lactose intolerant Will (Taran Killam) is bummed to hear that Angie wants to change their evening plans

hawaii-five-0-quote

HAWAII FIVE-0

"Steve...?!"

"What?"

"I don't want to be in the room with the powder that killed the people, OK?"

Danny (Scott Caan) knows the series finale is still a ways away 

Recommended