Quotes Of The Week For Sept. 16, 2018

FOREVER (Episode 8)

"I was just checking the time. I built a sundial down there. It's between two and seven."

"It's 11 am."

"Oh. [Awkward silence] It's cloudy."

Oscar (Fred Armisen) doesn't want to admit to June (Maya Rudolph) that his sundial doesn't work

SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

"Come on, I will buy you a donut. If you're not being too much of a bitch, I'll buy you two."

"That's an ugly word with an ugly history."

"Now I'm only buying you one."

Leigh (Elizabeth Olsen) gets on Danny's (Jovan Adepo) nerves

FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

"No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have beer to make."

Brewmaster Jimbo (Aaron Stanford), focusing on the important things after learning he's been bitten

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"In her upcoming memoir, adult-film star Stormy Daniels compares President Trump's penis to the video game character Toad from Mario Kart. So for once I'm gonna say, let's not take a closer look."

BETTER CALL SAUL

"Big glass high-rise. 40th floor... when I'm not on my boat."

Low-level crook Huell (Lavell Crawford) has a very specific vision of what his corporate office should look like

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)

"Comedian Roseanne Barr revealed yesterday that the creators of the upcoming Roseanne spinoff The Conners plan to kill off Roseanne's character with an overdose. And if it's on Ambien, let's hope they don't say her last words."

ELEMENTARY

"We're partners."

"No, we're much better than that. We're two people that love each other. We always have been."

Joan (Lucy Liu) and Sherlock (Jonny Lee Miller) share a surprisingly tender moment

SHAMELESS

"If you want to impress him, use the word 'artisanal' a lot. It's how fancy people say 'good.' Artisanal cheese, artisanal soap..."

"Wow, where did you learn all this?"

"Artisanal private school."

Liam (Christian Isaiah) gives Fiona (Emmy Rossum) some business advice

WYNONNA EARP

"But it's in Purgatory...? We don't even have an IKEA!"

Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) finds it hard to believe the Garden of Eden is somewhere nearby

BOJACK HORSEMAN (Episode 2)

"I'm doing a new, fully immersive, 3D spin class! Oh, you know what? I'm just biking."

Diane's boss Stefani (Kimiko Glenn) realizes her new workout routine isn't all that new

SALVATION

"Tanz...? I haven't seen you since you were on TV. You were president... and then you weren't. That was weird."

Darius' astrophysicist pal (guest star Willie Garson) speaks for the audience

AMERICAN VANDAL (Episode 4)

"She was singing 'Party in the U.S.A.' in public. Softly, but still. That song is the bubonic plague of sound."

Kevin (Travis Tope) makes his feelings on Miley Cyrus' music very clear

70TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS

"You wonder why I don't like to call you my girlfriend? Because I want to call you my wife."

Oscars director Glenn Weiss, proposing to girlfriend Jan Svendsen during his acceptance speech for Directing for a Variety Special

AMERICAN VANDAL (Episode 6)

"It's like, if you wanna get with DeMarcus, you gotta get with his friends. Some real Spice Girl s—t, man."

Perry (La'Charles Trask) describes just how important DeMarcus Tillman's right-hand man Lou Carter really is

WYNONNA EARP (Bonus Quote!)

"We must... we must... we must..."

"We must increase our bust?"

Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) has lost all patience with Bobo's mutterings

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

"You know, for someone with the mental capacity of a 3-year-old, I suppose 52 might seem ancient."

"You were 52 when Elvis took his last s—t!"

Coco (Leslie Grossman) isn't buying Evie's (Joan Collins) youthful fibs

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE (Bonus Quote!)

"We had at least four Chrises that could star in a movie. How many did you have?"

Mallory (Billie Lourd) elaborates on the many, many choices millennials had during life before the apocalypse