Quotes Of The Week For June 25, 2017

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"President Trump and his wife Melania this weekend attended the wedding of Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin. When asked if she cries at weddings, Melania said, 'Just the one.'"

CASUAL

"What's a groupie?"

"A slut for musicians."

"Like John Mayer?"

"Yeah, exactly."

Clark (Gunnar Goldberg) catches on quickly during Alex's (Tommy Dewey) impromptu music lesson

WORLD OF DANCE

"This is not a loss. You win, or you learn. You never lose."

Ne-Yo consoles the Boys of Temecula with tried-and-true wisdom

BLOOD DRIVE

"It's a mood piece."

Jonathan Julian (Colin Cunningham) isn't sure his bosses appreciate the Blood Drive production's thematic nuances

KILLJOYS (Bonus Quote!)

"Here's the deal: I need off this ship. Also, a secure uplink, 500,000 joy and a little bit of privacy."

"You can have Lucy, a monitored line and your teeth."

"I accept your terms."

Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen) is a hells of a negotiator

KILLJOYS

"How are you two with intense heat and unnecessary nudity?"

"Pretty good, actually."

Turin (Patrick Garrow) is talking D'Av and Dutch's language

THE CARMICHAEL SHOW

"I'm taping this, just so you know. If you shoot anyone, you'll probably keep your job, but it's going to be a rough couple of weeks."

The mass shooting episode's most biting commentary comes when Nekeisha (Tiffany Haddish) warns Officer Zimmerman (yes, really!) that she's filming his every move 

FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE

"It turns out that 13 rich white guys alone in a room isn't how good legislation happens. It's how Suicide Squad happens."

Bee reacts to the unpopular GOP health care bill

ZOO

"Salvage truck! Back gate doors open!"

"[Over comm] You inbound with friendlies?"

"No, unfriendly! Very unfriendly!"

Jackson (James Wolk) lures a big, mean, new hybrid to the base

CLAWS

"Um, Desna? I've been meaning to ask you this question all night: Can I touch your hair?"

"No."

Desna (Niecy Nash) politely but firmly gives drunk white girl Kiki (Tenea Intriago) an etiquette lesson

SILICON VALLEY

"I see you're fluent in Japanese... are you going to be comfortable with casual racism?"

Jared (Zach Woods) doesn't sugarcoat things when describing Pied Piper to a prospective hire

BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS

"Here's the [tug-of-war] strategy: Just take the sand and throw it in their eyes."

Now that's the sassy Blair we remember!

YOUNGER

"It's not like my life is perfect, OK? Max works ridiculous shifts and comes home at crazy hours. There's not even time for sex! Last night, I sat on his nocturnal erection while he was sleeping. In some cultures, that would be considered rape."

"Yeah, pretty much in every culture."

"...Whoops."

Lauren's (Molly Bernard) little vent session with Liza (Sutton Foster) takes a really dark turn

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

"I may not be able to see, but I can smell a bitch from a mile away."

Oh, Jenna (Tammin Sursok), we'll miss you most of all

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)

"Twelve percent — his health care bill is an iPhone in a horror movie. It's going to hit zero, and everyone is going to die."

Meyers reacts to a USA Today poll indicating how few people approve of Trump's plan

THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS

"We had some problems with Melissa."

"Melissa?"

"Yes, Jeffrey's fiancée."

"Well, there's your first problem."

Katheryn (Renee Lawless), cutting to the chase upon learning from Veronica (Angela Robinson) that her frenemy's gay son's female intended has been hospitalized

IZOMBIE

"There'll be time for fun after we're vaccinated."

"Aww, every great love story starts with those words."

Potentially rekindled exes Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) and Dale (Jessica Harmon), in line to get an Aleutian flu shot