Quotes Of The Week For Aug. 18, 2019

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Aug. 18 through Aug. 24, 2019. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then drop a comment and tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

ANIMAL KINGDOM

"Lose the glasses, you're not John Gotti."

Pope (Shawn Hatosy), throwing "shade" at nephew J

PENNYWORTH

"So when the s—t hits the fan? What should I do?"

"Switch off the fan, I suppose. Or stand behind something s—tproof."

Alfred (Jack Bannon) offers Martha (Emma Paetz) sage counsel

PENNYWORTH (Bonus Quote!)

"Who are you, now...?"

"Frances Gaunt, leader of the Raven Society."

"Get out. A woman? No wonder you're a secret."

Alfred's (Jack Bannon) jokes are of a time, yes

BH90210

"It turns out that kick in the nuts was a real kick in the nuts."

Jason (Jason Priestley) informs his wife — his pregnant wife — that he can't have kids

BH90210 (Bonus Quote!)

"Have you reached out to Joe E. Tata yet? Maybe he'd like to be the CEO of Fox!"

Christine Elise is joking, but is it really the worst idea? Nat ran the Peach Pit pretty efficiently

SUCCESSION

"Logan has requested your presence in Meeting Room 4."

"Which?"

"Both of you."

"Oh. That will be fun. Beavis and Crackhead."

Roman (Kieran Culkin) is thrilled to be lumped in with Kendall

SUCCESSION (Bonus Quote!)

"Do you... do you think that's a natural progression? From 'Never Done Nothing, Never' to 'Most Important Job in the World'? Like, could you maybe get a little experience, at a CVS or something?"

Roman (Kieran Culkin) questions Connor's White House bid

ANIMAL KINGDOM (Bonus Quote!)

"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me."

Adrian (Spencer Treat Clark), cutting boyfriend Deran to the quick with his parting words

AMBITIONS

"Well, don't just stand there, Mr. Mayor. I'm ready to take dictation."

In case you can't tell, Stephanie (Robin Givens) isn't actually talking about doing secretarial work

YELLOWSTONE

"You're lucky she has a conscience. I was gonna get you to f—k that mannequin."

Beth (Kelly Reilly), finishing up her humiliation of the shop owner who racially profiled her sister-in-law

POSE

"I am in six-inch heels! You're in the sort of heel I wear when I'm asleep or suffering from food poisoning!"

Elektra (Dominique Jackson) lets Pray Tell know that his pitifully low high heels won't cut it at the ball

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

"I can't go to gay bars. It's impolite to give a boner that you can't reciprocate."

Ainsley's brainless boy-toy Garrett (Richard Fleeshman) has a strong moral code, at least

INSTINCT

"...so stop feeling like you've let everybody down and show me some of that Midwestern, steak-eating, cornfield-loving, 'Oh what a beautiful morning!' optimism, OK?"

"OK. OK, thank you. And you know, Nebraska isn't—" 

"Oklahoma, yes."

Dylan (Alan Cumming) stops short of asking Ryan (Travis Van Winkle) for a surrey with a fringe on the top

Click here to return to the original article.

BACHELOR IN PARADISE

"He's like the turd that won't flush!"

Demi, describing Blake after he once again avoided elimination at the rose ceremony

BASKETS

"I thought I smelled a nice perfume wafting through the RV park. What is that, Lady Old Spice?"

Dale (Zach Galifianakis) thinks Martha has the scent of a woman