Quotes Of The Week For March 8, 2015

"You're disgusting."

"But I'm rich, so it really doesn't matter."

Chastised by wannabe State's Attorney Frank Prady (David Hyde Pierce, potential PAC donor Guy Redmayne (Ed Asner) speaks a sad truth

"What the f–k? I mean, if you want him to think you killed your kids and have been living in the Florida panhandle, knock yourself out!"

Elijah (Andrew Rannells) takes a dubious view of Hannah (Lena Dunham) wearing a hideous, salamander-emblazoned t-shirt on a first date

"Are you forgetting who's been taking care of you?"

"Please. Providing reheatable noodles in what might charitably be called 'shelter'? No great gift."

Crashing with Ursula (Merrin Dungey) is no ramen holiday for Rumple (Robert Carlyle)

"What made you choose yellow? .... Bold choice."

"I like yellow. And I stole it. Is this really a good time to question my taste?!"

Emma's preference in car color "Bugs" Regina (Lana Parrilla)

‎"[My mother] did try to set me up on a date, if you can imagine that. A guy named Randy. Divorced. I thought he was a cousin, but apparently not."

Winona (Natalie Zea) brings baby daddy Raylan up to speed on her Florida life

"Look, if Taylor Swift can live alone in New York, just think what you can do!" ​

Jess (Zooey Deschanel) gives a solid pep talk to downtrodden ex-boyfriend Paul​

"I was supposed to become something divine, something transcendent... Not some gnarled freak of nature covered in thorns."

"You always did like flowers."

Cal (Kyle MacLachlan) doesn't exactly tell transformed Raina (Ruth Negga) what she needs to hear

"How late did we stay up last night?"

"Almost 1am."

"Damn straight almost 1am! And we weren't even watching TV. We were watching Netflix like all the kids do."

"Yeah! 'Is it a comedy? Is it a drama?' Nobody knows!"

Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and Penny (Kaley Cuoco) get meta about their Emmy competition

"I also have the strongest heroin in the world."

"What?!"

"She-Ra: Princess of Power. There's no stronger heroine out there."

Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covey) attempts to buy an in-demand Cabbage Patch Kid from a guy selling toys out of the trunk of his car

"What do you really think about church, mom?"

"Well... There are probably one too many potlucks."

Superspy Elizabeth (Keri Russell) makes a joke

"Am I crazy or is that the same dress you were wearing last time I saw you?"

"You must be crazy, because I don't wear the same dress ever."

Early on in their acquaintance, Jessica (Gina Torres) schools Harvey on her magnificent wardrobe

"You're wearing a goddamn wire?!"

"For someone whose favorite movie is Wall Street, that's gotta be pretty embarrassing."

The show's slippery resident Gordon Gekko aka Forstman (Eric Roberts) gets busted by Harvey and his SEC pals

"Take these cookiesssss!"

Drunk-as-a-skunk Cookie (Taraji P. Henson)‎ beseeches bodyguard Malcolm to sample her treats

"Is that old lady self-sufficient? Because my parents showed me Cocoon when I was little, and I just can't."

"She's fine. She'll fight you for dominance and then fall asleep."

Nicole (Luna Blaise) worries she might be babysitting more than just Jessica's (Constance Wu) kids

"Gosh, I've never felt this guilty before. And I'm the one who told De Blasio not to care what the po-po thinks."

Tamra (Xosha Roquemore) feels terrible that Dr. Bergdahl is getting fired because of her — but her moral compass might be broken anyway

"You gotta see this."

"Well that's a vagina."

"Yeah, my kid did it."

"Aw! Even more disturbing."

"Not the six-year-old. The eight-year-old!" 

"How are you not in prison?"

Matt LeBlanc's son is quite the erotic artist, but Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Bev (Tamsin Greig) are more disturbed than impressed

"I'm not trying to be mean. It's just, you ever think you might be settling for something here? We've all done it: talked ourselves into the penguin because we didn't think we had a shot at the elephant. If I'm your elephant, you have a shot. That's what I'm trying to say, dummy."

Haley (Sarah Hyland) uses the carnival-game-prize stuffed animals she and Andy (Adam Devine) talked about earlier to illustrate why he should ask her out. (Too bad he was unconscious... or was he?)

"My mom is marrying – shudder – Charles' dad. Toilet emoji."

Gina (Chelsea Perretti) speaks in text message to get her feelings across

"I've only said 'I love you' to three people: my mom, my dad and my dying grandpa. One of those I regret."

"Which one?"

"Grandpa. He beat cancer so now I look like an idiot!"

Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) tells Charles (Joe Lo Truglio) about her history with 'I love you's'

"Jake, what are you doing? Give me the ring!"

"Hey, you sound like Gollum."

"That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty."

Gina (Chelsea Peretti) pesters the Boyle-Linetti wedding's Lord of the You-Know-Whats (Andy Samberg)

"Ikea announced that they're gonna come out with furniture that charges your electronic devices. Next up for Ikea? Furniture that will last more than two years."

Conan pokes fun at the build-it-yourself furniture seller

"You look ridiculous."

Daryl (Normas Reedus) isn't a fan of showered, suburban Carol

"Are you sure about this, Penguin? You're telling me this is where Loeb keeps 20 years of dirty secrets? Doesn't feel right."

"What would you prefer, Detective Bullock? A sign saying 'Super-Secret Blackmail Hoard'?"

Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor) leads Harvey (Donal Logue) to the quaint house where the crooked commissioner keeps his secrets

"So wait: They had me before they were married?"

"You're like the bastard Jon Snow!"

Zoey (Yara Shahidi) is shocked — and her brother, Andre Jr. (Marcus Scribner) is delighted — to learn she was born out of wedlock

"Did you guys see Selma? Complete game-changer."

"I saw the original in 1965 when it was called 'Detroit.'"

Bow's father, Beau (Beau Bridges), and Dre's father, Pops (Laurence Fishburne), get into a civil-rights-off