Quotes Of The Week For June 30, 2019
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LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
"Amazon is the industry trendsetter. They're the Michael Jackson of shipping: They're the best at what they do, everyone tries to imitate them, and nobody who learns a third thing about them is happy that they did."
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THE HILLS: NEW BEGINNINGS
"She lives in England. I don't know the miles, but it's far from America."
Remind us never to take a geography lesson from Spencer Pratt
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THE DETOUR
"Listen, I would fill this out, too, if I hadn't had kids."
Robin (Natalie Zea), with her twin B.J. (also Natalie Zea), gets caught in a game of "Who Wore It Best?"
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INSTINCT
"Oh, fun fact: The human body takes five to seven days to thaw."
"Wow. That's really 'fun.'"
The M.E. gives Lizzie (Bojana Novakovic) an update on their "corpsicle"
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STRANGER THINGS (Episode 1)
"Think Phoebe Cates, only hotter."
Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo), describing girlfriend Suzie to his pals
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STRANGER THINGS (Episode 2)
"How many children are you friends with?"
Robin (Maya Hawke), bewildered by the parade of youngsters passing through Scoops Ahoy to see Steve
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GOOD TROUBLE
"Everyone these days is so brave, you know, choosing to live out loud and proud, in their true genders and owning their sexuality, protesting against injustice... Getting bangs. People just be out here getting bangs, y'all. So bold."
Alice (Sherry Cola) keeps things light at Jazmin's Doble Quince
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DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (Episode 8)
"I need these new ads to grab him by the nut sack and twist."
"Not a visual I needed."
Lorraine (Julie White) plans a balls-out attack on Moss
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DESIGNATED SURVIVOR (Episode 10)
"What is so important?"
"[Emily hands over one dollar] This establishes attorney-client privilege."
"That's just a TV thing."
An anxious Emily (Italia Ricci) summons a lawyer friend in the middle of the night
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THE LOUDEST VOICE
"Happy holidays."
"Merry Christmas."
Eventual Fox News founder Roger Ailes rejects his waitress' politically correct salutation, firing the first shot in the (alleged) war on Christmas
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THE BACHELORETTE
"Are you licking your lips because you're attracted to me?"
Garrett's awkward staring contest with nemesis Luke P. becomes unexpectedly sensual
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MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
"I'm a hacker."
"Like, you hack off limbs? Chop people up??"
Daisy (Chloe Bennet) gets Snow (Brooke Williams) a bit too excited
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MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (Bonus Quote!)
"...they did provide us with a beautiful wedding venue."
"Guess I had to be there."
"You were. And you were dashing."
"Well, looks like you married Mr. Perfect, doesn't it?"
"Are you jealous of yourself...?"
"Yep, yes I am. Because he'll always be your first husband. I'll just be the replacement."
"You do realize how ridiculous this sounds?!"
"Have fun on your wedding night?"
"Oh, it was wonderful. [Off Fitz's look] I mean, obviously it will be nothing compared to the second time."
"What, I wasn't enough the first time?"
Fitz (Iain De Caestecker) isn't happy about not RSVPing for his and Simmons' (Elizabeth Henstridge) wedding