'The Bachelorette' Week 3: Chad Moments

"There's Chad's leftover meat plates all over the counter," huffs Robby, examining the detritus of the prior evening's rose ceremony. Does the pluralization of "meat plates" imply there was more than one mound of mixed deli fixins left to rot overnight? THIS TELLS ME CHAD IS NOT HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS — OR AT LEAST NOT FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE PLANET!

"240 plus 280 is... 550," declares Chad, as he measures Muscle Milk and does nothing to blunt later criticisms about his intellect.

Chad and his pal Daniel try (and fail) to recreate the magic of Fifth Harmony's "Work From Home" video.

I don't even care for pleats in a pair of Dockers — let alone in a bro's shoulders!

This photo is from Jojo's date with Chase, not Chad. But it's instructive in the ways that a couple of strategically placed candles can class up the experience of "mounting a guy on the first date." (Hey, that's how Jojo described it!)

I made that face, too, buddy, while the guys argued about the blasphemy of Chad saying he'd prefer no date with Jojo over having to accompany her on a group outing with 11 other dudes. (In his defense, all those varieties of Axe body spray in a hot, crowded limo doesn't sound particularly appealing.)

I'm not saying Evan deserved to have his shirt violently yanked for making steroid jokes about Chad during the "Sex Talks" date (Don't ask: It was as terrible as it sounds), but the floppy haired erectile-dysfunction expert does utter the phrase "the man gloves might come out today."

"If I don't lift weights, I'm gonna murder someone!" Chad seethes, after punching a door and ending up with bloodied fingers. (In Chad's defense, though, he tells his fellow contestants that "the door walked into the way of my hand." So the door pretty much was asking for it.)

After a frustrating night — and Jojo's very public rejection of his smooch — Chad finally catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, stops, fixes his hair, and shows himself the appreciation he feels he so richly deserves: "Whoa. Hey, buddy."

"There's certain things about Chad that I like," Jojo says after Evan gives her an "It's Chad or it's me" ultimatum. And honestly, guys, she's not lying: The hulking mass of unpredictable fury has got to be good for at least a couple points in the show's demo rating!

"Love is worth getting shoved in the face for," says Evan, after receiving the group-date rose. "Because, boys, guess what? Daddy made out with Jojo!" Oh, dude, you had to bring your children into this?

"Is this real? Is this a real scenario right now?" Chad asks, after his rival scores the rose. OH EM GEE! OF COURSE THIS IS NOT A REAL SCENARIO! IT'S THE BACHELORETTE!

The tiny bird in this establishing shot represents the frailty of reality-show love. Or does he represent Evan's position in the house as feeble prey to Chad's chiseled menace?

"Let's pretend you're Hitler..." starts Daniel, explaining the difficulty of buddying up with the most hated man in the house, who then goes on to suggest his pal instead channel Mussolini, or perhaps be more like Bush than Trump. Which is pretty much proof that no one should ever discuss politics or history on The Bachelorette ever.

Oh those cheeky editors! This is one of their go-to shots as host Chris Harrison tells Evan about the seriousness with which he treats the threat of physical violence in the Bachelorette house.