The Bachelor's Juan Pablo Won't Be Dancing: Here Are 10 Other Reality Shows He Could Ruin

By Michael Slezak March 14, 2014 5:02 pm EST

My-Strange-Addiction-Juan-Pablo

My Strange Addiction "Ay yi yi! I can't stop putting my tongue in strange, drunk women's mouths!"

My Strange Addiction

"Ay yi yi! I can't stop putting my tongue in strange, drunk women's mouths!"

Bad Girls Club - Season 11

Bad Girls Club "Ay yi yi! So many strange, drunk women whose mouths I can put my tongue in!"

Bad Girls Club

"Ay yi yi! So many strange, drunk women whose mouths I can put my tongue in!"

DEADLIEST CATCH 9

Deadliest Catch Sounds like an odd fit on paper, sure, but wouldn't it be a fun change of pace to see Juan Pablo actually working for a living? OK, you're right, this one's just too unrealistic.

Deadliest Catch

Sounds like an odd fit on paper, sure, but wouldn't it be a fun change of pace to see Juan Pablo actually working for a living? OK, you're right, this one's just too unrealistic.

Jersey-Shore-juan-pablo

Jersey Shore Yes, we realize MTV's tale of Snooki, The Situation, Jwoww (damn, my IQ dropped from typing that name) & Co. is no longer in production. But imagine the pervert perverse pleasure of seeing Juan Pablo wander around Seaside Heights for weeks, trying to find a camera crew to complete him.

Jersey Shore

Yes, we realize MTV's tale of Snooki, The Situation, Jwoww (damn, my IQ dropped from typing that name) & Co. is no longer in production. But imagine the ~~pervert~~ perverse pleasure of seeing Juan Pablo wander around Seaside Heights for weeks, trying to find a camera crew to complete him.

Duck-Dynasty-Juan-Pablo

Duck Dynasty Finally, somebody to lend a sympathetic ear when Phil Robertson goes off on a tangent about the evils of same-sex marriage. All J.P.'s gotta do is grow out his carefully sculpted perma-stubble.

Duck Dynasty

Finally, somebody to lend a sympathetic ear when Phil Robertson goes off on a tangent about the evils of same-sex marriage. All J.P.'s gotta do is grow out his carefully sculpted perma-stubble.

Keeping-up-with-kardashians-juan-pablo

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Juan Pabs could embark on a new career as a paparazzo, documenting the many moods -- i.e. fame-hungry, attention-seeking, Spandex-destroying -- of Kris, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall...actually, let's pull the plug on this sentence. Some ideas are too unspeakable to be floated into the universe, even as a joke.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Juan Pabs could embark on a new career as a paparazzo, documenting the many moods — i.e. fame-hungry, attention-seeking, Spandex-destroying — of Kris, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall...actually, let's pull the plug on this sentence. Some ideas are too unspeakable to be floated into the universe, even as a joke.

Discovery Channel

Naked and Afraid Set entirely in a fantasy suite! But can Juan Pablo's female partner survive a full 24 hours listening to the former soccer player talk exclusively about himself?

Naked and Afraid

Set entirely in a fantasy suite! But can Juan Pablo's female partner survive a full 24 hours listening to the former soccer player talk exclusively about himself?

rupauls-drag-race-juan-pablo

RuPaul's Drag Race Then again, maybe he'd be "too pervert" for Logo's lip-synching, gown-wearing, shade-throwing extravaganza, hunties.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Then again, maybe he'd be "too pervert" for Logo's lip-synching, gown-wearing,
shade-throwing extravaganza, hunties.

top-chef-juan-pablo

Top Chef Ewww...what's that bitter taste? Juan Pablo, please pack your knives and go.

Top Chef

Ewww...what's that bitter taste? Juan Pablo, please pack your knives and go.

big-brother-juan-pablo

Big Brother Self-absorbed, physically fit, scantily clad, frequently offensive fameosexuals locked in a house for the summer. Anyone feel like CBS' summer staple, not ABC's dating franchise, would've been the better fit to begin with?

Big Brother

Self-absorbed, physically fit, scantily clad, frequently offensive fameosexuals locked in a house for the summer. Anyone feel like CBS' summer staple, not ABC's dating franchise, would've been the better fit to begin with?