Quotes Of The Week For July 1, 2018

ANIMAL KINGDOM

"Don't trip out and call me crazy, but, um, I think Linc might be gay. Wait, is he gay? You, uh... "

"Jeez, if I knew you wanted to bang him, I probably wouldn't have made a move."

Deran (Jake Weary), jokingly letting Craig (Ben Robson) know that he's sleeping with his X Games hero

SALVATION

"There isn't much time, so I'd appreciate a sign-off on a requisition form or however it is one gets permission to borrow a stealth jet these days. I'm sorry, I'm new at this."

Newly installed VP Darius (Santiago Cabrera) asks POTUS for the keys to a B-2 bomber, to elude the terrorists' travel ban

GLOW (Episode 6)

"I'm not angry with you. I'm an insecure old man, I get defensive. Sue me."

Sam (Marc Maron), coming as close to apologizing to Ruth as he can possibly get

THE AFFAIR

"All right, so, let me get this straight: She was married to you, and then she cheated with you. And then she left you for you. And then she cheated on you with him. And then she had your baby, but said it was your baby. Did I get that right?"

"Pretty much."

"Damn. White people crazy, man. That is some real Maury Povich s—t, right there."

Anton (Christopher Meyer) attempts to make sense of Alison's on-again/off-again relationships with ex-husbands Cole and Noah

SHOOTER

"Dude, do I look like a therapist?"

Bob Lee (Ryan Phillippe) has no time for Downey oversharing about his own daddy issues

GLOW (Episode 10)

"It looks like a leech made a home on her neck."

Sheila (Gayle Rankin), describing the hickey Russell gave Ruth

THE GONG SHOW

"It looks like the extras holding [area] for Human Centipede."

Jason Sudeikis weighs in, a bit vividly, on an act that did messy things with (what we think was) Nutella

MATCH GAME

"That's you swimming away from all the good answers."

Caroline Rhea thinks the mermaid-tailed contestant is floundering

THE BACHELORETTE

"It's like Dumb and Dumber, but I don't know which one is which."

Garrett accurately sums up a petty argument between Chris and Lincoln

THE HANDMAID'S TALE

"Take one, dear. I think you've earned it."

"I think I've earned a whole cake."

In June's (Elisabeth Moss) opinion, giving birth without assistance or drugs merits more than the muffin that Aunt Lydia (Ann Dowd) is offering as a reward

12 MONKEYS (Bonus Quote!)

"We can have forever. Or we can have now. With an ending that makes it real. Please. Give us an ending."

Cole (Aaron Stanford) begs Cassie to turn off Titan's machine, even though it would mean the end of their relationship

12 MONKEYS

"You know your brand logo thing, copyright The Witness, TM? I get it. It's Aramaic for the number 12, mirrored to represent the beginning, the end, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, such and such. But just a few little tweaks... It looks like a little penis man! Is that because you're such a dick?"

Jennifer (Emily Hampshire) taunts Olivia

THE BOLD TYPE

"I was serving coffee to models at a Versace show. But one of those models was Naomi Campbell. She took one look at my ensemble — I believe a vest and jodhpurs were involved — and said, 'Why are you wasting your talents making coffee and not working in fashion?'"

"Now was this before or after the phone-chucking incident?"

Alex (Matt Ward) has an important follow-up question to Oliver's (Stephen Conrad Moore) story of how he ended up at Scarlet

POSE

"Nakisha, who are you calling a boy? Your real hair is so short, you could roll it with rice. And what is that on your lips, Leesa? Oh, it's just your favorite lip gloss — sperm! Why don't you low-rent, bad handjob-giving hookers run back to the pier where you belong with the rest of the city vermin?

Two reads for the price of one? Yes, Elektra (Dominique Jackson)!

RAVEN'S HOME

"You've got to help me, Chaka Khan!"

Do you think any of Disney Channel's younger viewers got Chelsea's (Anneliese van der Pol) joke about Raven's bigger-than-normal hair?