Quotes Of The Week For March 20, 2016

"Do you remember that episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives that you did?"

We're not sure what we love more — Blake making fun of Adam when he's bald, or when he's bleach blonde

"You do not yell at me in this office."

"Where do I yell at you? I want to go there. Take me to the place where I yell at you, because I am not done!"

VP/wannabe POTUS Susan Ross (Artemis Pebdani) roars to the displeasure of her president (Tony Goldwyn)

"Guns aren't for show, Bruce, and they're not for protection. They're only for one thing."

The NRA would probably like to have a talk with Selina (Camren Bicondova)...?

"Super lice?"

"It's a strain of lice that's evolved to be treatment-resistant. Every time it's not completely destroyed, it comes back even stronger."

"Like Mark Harmon!"

Gene (Eugene Mirman) is obviously an NCIS fan

"Jeez, how did it get so late? I gotta run, I promised my mom I'd help with the inventory... You'd be surprised how long it takes to count a garage full of dildos."

The next time Shane (Michael Willett) makes up an excuse to get out of his plans with Liam, he should try being a little less obvious

"Start planning those viewing parties for May 23, when JoJo begins her journey to find love on the new season of The Bachelorette. Hey, who knows? Maybe she'll fall in love with three guys!"

Chris Harrison can't help but poke a little fun at Bachelor Ben Higgins confessing his love for two different Season 20 contestants

"Annalise doesn't need our help. If she did, she would be here instead of eating barbecue somewhere, sitting on the dock of the bay."

"There are no bays in Tennessee."

Wes (Alfred Enoch) gives Connor (Jack Falahee) a topography lesson

"His name was Sam."

Annalise (Viola Davis) finally reveals the name of her stillborn child — and breaks all of our hearts in the process

"You know what, Hoda? You're my person."

Kathie Lee Gifford mocks the line used by The Bachelor's Ben Higgins to declare his love for this season's "winning" lady

"I totally respect your social media boycott. I wish I could wean myself, but I just suck at weaning. I was breastfed until I was 6... before it was chic."

Ophelia, one of Jenna's new co-workers at Idea Bin, is among Earth's most insufferable humans

"I was dead for two minutes before they revived me. ... I don't want to die again, though, I'll tell you that much. You know, heaven seemed really middle-of-the-road."

Ophelia's story about that time she actually committed suicide is further proof that she is, in fact, the worst

"They have the instincts of a goldfish. Eyes wide open, mouths moving, swallowing air, can't tell flakes from poop."

Jessica (Constance Wu) does not have a high opinion of the staff at Louis' restaurant

"President Obama announced today that he is nominating Washington, D.C., circuit court judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court. 'I can't win anything this week!' screamed JoJo from The Bachelor."

"Heart transplant, huh?"

"Yep. Bump?"

"Yeah."

"I win."

ER patient Walter (Elyes Gabel) compares war stories with a rugrat

"First thing when you want to get something out of someone: Make them comfortable. Don't say anything blunt or harsh. In other words, Happy, don't be yourself."

"I'd be offended by that if it weren't so true."

Toby (Eddie Kaye Thomas) and Happy (Jadyn Wong) really are a match made in heaven

"We're talking about a squad of trained killers loose on the streets — not the kind of guys you challenge to a fistfight in your underwear."

"It's not underwear, Foggy. Underwear is comfortable."

Foggy (Elden Henson) sells Matt's (Charlie Cox) nighttime wardrobe short

"It's officially a cold day in Hell when I move in with the Charmings."

Regina (Lana Parrilla) is agog with her Underworld accommodations

"Oh, how I miss the real world. The music, the gin, the glamour... the gin."

The Underworld has put the "cruel" in Cruella (Victoria Smurfit)

"Wait... I think I see something suspicious... No one would ever intentionally cut their hair like that."

Lincoln (Luke Mitchell) is all a-buzz about Talbot's extreme 'do

"Ohhh, that's it — your ringer needs to be turned on, you've been on vibrate for too long!"

Callie (Sara Ramirez) figures out why Mer has been dodging the military doctor's calls