Quotes Of The Week For March 12, 2017

THE FLASH

"That was oddly satisfying."

Jesse (Violett Beane) KO's chatty H.R.

ARROW

"Thanks for the assist."

"What is thing you are doing with voice...?"

Oliver (Stephen Amell) introduces Anatoly (David Nykl) to his raspy-voiced "someone else"

THE MIDDLE

"So what do I do now?"

"Only one thing to do... seek the guidance of a higher power."

"So we're watching Matthew McConaughey in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?"

"Unless you got a better idea."

Hutch (Alphonso McAuley) believes the (classic?) McConaughey flick will help Axl (Charlie McDermott) come to an epiphany after running into all of his exes

THE MIDDLE (Bonus Quote!)

"Hello, mother. Anything you'd like to tell me?"

[Awkward silence]

[Begins singing...] "Happy birthday—"

"That was five months ago."

Frankie (Patricia Heaton) automatically assumes she forgot Brick's (Atticus Shaffer) birthday (again) when he comes to talk to her

SUPERSTORE

"Attention, Cloud 9 employees: Do not recommend me for the Integrity Award. If you would like to reward me for rescuing a dog, feel free to bring baked goods by customer service, preferably homemade... And no lemon squares or anything with oatmeal. Save that crap for somebody who did not rescue a dog."

Garrett (Colton Dunn) is highly selective about his baked goods

CRASHING

"Eight dollars, for the Coke?! Coca-Cola, at a bodega or a gas station... like, two liters for 99 cents. Eighty-nine, in some neighborhoods that are rougher."

Pete (Pete Holmes) argues with a Manhattan bartender about the outrageous markup on a simple soft drink

GIRLS

"This is yet another reckless, impulsive, typical-Hannah decision, like cutting your own hair, or cyberbullying that girl you met at Barnes & Noble."

"We did that together! That was something we chose to do together, for fun!"

Elijah (Andrew Rannells) and Hannah (Lena Dunham) argue over whether she's mature enough to have a baby

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS

"Let me finish, Dorit: You talk a lot."
"You don't talk enough."
"I say important s—t. You say too much boring s—t."

Erika gives Dorit a quick lesson on conversational etiquette

ONCE UPON A TIME

"OK, [the potion recipe] says 'Turn counter-clockwise.' Do you think they mean the beaker, or do we have to turn?"

"It's better to be safe."

"Yeah."

Charming (Josh Dallas) and Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) go in circles trying to cast a spell

ONCE UPON A TIME (Bonus Quote!)

"Do I look like I was carved yesterday?"

Pinocchio (voiced by Jakob Davies) smells a tall tale from James' father

NCIS

"OK, what's going on with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"First of all, I don't act 'weird.' I act mysterious."

Torres (Wilmer Valderrama) takes issue with Bishop's choice of words

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!

"Before he gets rid of Sesame Street, I think we should make the president watch it a few times. That show teaches so many things he needs to know: which thing is bigger than the other, how to spell, the importance of telling the truth, sharing and listening to others. Maybe throw in some Schoolhouse Rock [and] he can find out how government works."

Kimmel responds to President Trump's proposal to cut funding for public broadcasting

NEW GIRL

"The hell was that? Are you the criminals?! From the statistics?!"

A paranoid Schmidt (Max Greenfield) freaks out when he thinks a burglar has entered his new home

THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW

"For the record, the First Amendment gives us the right to publish the return. It is not illegally published, nor are we fake. Pinch me, I'm real!"

THIS IS US

"You're not just my great love story, Rebecca. You were my big break."

Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) puts his heart on the line after he and Rebecca decide to separate