Quotes Of The Week For March 15, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from March 15 through March 21, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

THE WALKING DEAD

"Took ya long enough."

Carol (Melissa McBride), upon receipt of nemesis Alpha's severed head from — surprise! — co-conspirator Negan

THE NEIGHBORHOOD

"What the kid's got is the most embarrassing job on the team. Being the equipment manager is like being the tree in the school play."

"Hey, I was the tree in the school play! Don't throw shade until you've provided it!"

Dave (Max Greenfield) takes umbrage with Gemma (Beth Behrs) when she compares Grover's lowly status on Calvin's basketball team to one of his past roles

VANDERPUMP RULES

"Hold your flowers down so we can see your t–ts."

"Flowers down, t–ts out?"

"Yeah."

We're starting to think Ariana Madix and Scheana Shay missed their calling as wedding planners

THE CONNERS

"How does this work? Do you go make a sandwich while we're doing it? And then when you two are doing it, do I go make a sandwich? Or am I the sandwich?"

Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) asks Ron and Janelle how it'd work if they choose to take their relationship to "the next level"

THE CONNERS (Bonus Quote!)

"I shaved my entire body. I don't know who's going where, so I cleared the decks!"

Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) over-prepares for her first threesome

TODAY

"Now we're really socially distancing, aren't we, Hoda?"

An under-the-weather Savannah Guthrie makes light of working out of her basement during continuing coverage on the coronavirus pandemic

BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA

"You can't find a fellow employee 'the cutest.' That's not appropriate anymore. It's 2020, not 2017."

Douglas (Matt Jones) warns Christina about her crush on MaxDot employee Kofo

BLACK MONDAY

"Babe, you have got to try to be open to new neighborhoods. We've gotta get out of that hotel before Page Six starts writing about 'a certain unisex-named Wall Street bull taking precautions and Special K with his special K Street bear.' [beat] Maybe I should write for Page Six."

If his Wall Street career doesn't work out, Blair (Andrew Rannells) surely has a future writing blind items for the tabloids

PRODIGAL SON

"These visits are blackmail."

"Would you rather spend 12 minutes not talking about the thing that's on your mind? Care to hear my thoughts about Medicare for All?"

Martin (Michael Sheen) suggests a timely conversation topic during Malcolm's latest visit

THE SINNER

"I decided to take a year off and then go to college. And because of what happened, my parents are actually listening. And they're, like, in full support of my choices now? It's kind of weird."

Emma (Layla Felder) isn't sure how to process her parents' recent supportive behavior

ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

"Were you pre-gaming with Joan? I cannot believe the lengths you're willing to go to to get in with our boss."

"And I cannot believe you're dressed as Shaggy wearing Scooby-Doo."

A tipsy Zoey (Jane Levy) takes a very specific dig at Leif's (Michael Thomas Grant) party ensemble

SUPERSTORE

"It's Dina. She doesn't respond well to outside input. She's like Tyler Perry."

Mateo's (Nico Santos) one-liner was probably not written by Tyler Perry

SEAL TEAM

"Let the record show that the tank was softened up by yours truly. Texas, 1. Boko Haram, 0."

Sonny (AJ Buckley) isn't one to let air support get all the glory

BATWOMAN

"What just happened?"

"Sorry — doctor/vigilante confidentiality."

Luke is most curious about Mary's (Nicole Kang) emergency call from Batwoman

BETTER THINGS

"This blows dead donkey d—ks." 

"You don't need hands for that!"   

Sam (Pamela Adlon) and her hand surgeon, after he gives her a less-than-stellar diagnosis

THIS IS US

"It took six episodes, but it finally makes sense. And baby? I might be leaving you for Yahya." 

Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) finishes watching Watchmen and cements her membership in the Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Fan Club

GREY'S ANATOMY

"Do you wanna stay with me while you look for a place?"

"Jo, that time in my mom's basement was a one-time thing. I'm a gay man."

"That's why you're getting the invite, dummy!"

Jo (Camilla Luddington) can't help but laugh at what a newly homeless Levi (Jake Borelli) thinks she's proposing

GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)

"Promise me we'll always fight for our dreams."

"I will always fight. I may not win..."

"Maybe you should take that job."

"There are 81 away games a year."

"OK... but the next dream."

Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) wants Link (Chris Carmack) to reconsider taking his dream job... till he gives her a wake-up call

STATION 19

"Whoa, whoa... hey! Who the hell are you? Are you a cop?"

"Hi, my name's Robert. I'm not a cop. I'm a firefighter."

"A freakishly tall one."

Even during a standoff, troubled vet Kyle (Josh Kelly) can't help but notice the obvious — Sullivan (Boris Kodjoe) is a giant of a man

LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER

"We're currently taping this... with a very limited crew on this white void set. It kind of looks like the place where movie characters go when they've just died. Or where they shot the Kars 4 Kids commercial — very much, by the way, the coronavirus of commercials, in that it is horrifically infectious and ruins people's lives."

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DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

"Nuh-uh, you know the rules — no McGuffin talk until after I've finished my coffee."

Latte first, then Loom of Fate, Sara (Caity Lotz) tells Charlie

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (Bonus Quote!)

"So there's been a change of plans. You guys have been replaced by Riverdale."

Nate (Nick Zano) lowers the boom on Shakespeare's superhero-filled play