Quotes Of The Week For Sept. 13, 2015

"Do you think Paul wants his geocaching gear?"

"Maybe he can use it to track down his new girlfriend's tiny boobs."

Lindsay (Kether Donohue) shows no mercy as she and Edgar (Desmin Borges) clean out Paul's things from the house

"Sorry you have to listen to this drama."

Nyle may be deaf, but he can tell just by looking that his friend Mikey is in pain listening to Hadassah and Mamé engaging in a long, drawn-out snipe session

"Your face looks like a dehydrated apple."

Kelly Cutrone is not a fan of Bello's photo

"He's got Parkinson's, you f—ing c—!"

Abby (Paula Malcomson) scolds an elderly woman for jumping to the ignorant conclusion that Terry's shakiness is alcohol-induced

"Just hours before a large rally this afternoon calling for her release, a federal judge has ruled that embattled county clerk Kim Davis be freed from jail. Davis will return to her job as the star of the comic strip Cathy."

"Did you give me your blood...? Were you going to tell me, or wait until my eyes lit up when I was shaving?"

JD (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) realizes to what extremes Molly went to heal his bullet wound

"New Rule: Someone has to explain to the Florida man arrested for publicly masturbating in a Burger King that 'Have It Your Way' refers to your food order. Also, if you want to have any chance at all of acquittal, don't take a mug shot that looks like you're still masturbating in a Burger King."

"I'm gonna need you here — as Chief of Naval Operations."

"That's a pretty big jump, sir...."

"Don't forget, I was No. 12."

HUD secretary-turned-President Michener (Mark Moses) reminds Chandler (Eric Dane) that promotions can come easy during a plague

"You sound like my husband on our honeymoon!"

Kelly gets ribald when a CryoUSA rep tells her "relax, don't fight it" while putting her in a chamber with a temperature of -254 degrees

"How many animals do you think have nearly eaten us?"

"Well to be fair to them, they wouldn't have eaten us. They would have just killed us."

Mitch (Billy Burke) splits hairs with Jamie

"Pee faster!"

Mitch (Billy Burke) worries that Jamie's al fresco potty break will cost them their lives.

"Virginia, I don't want your hand, or your mouth on me."

"What man doesn't want that?"

When Bill (Michael Sheen) turns down Virginia's (Lizzy Caplan) offer for oral sex (in favor of doing the actual deed upstairs), Virginia briefly loses her understanding of the entire male species

"What are you two doing here...?"

"Customs. Got anything to declare?"

Walt (Robert Taylor), who came thisclose to ambushing and killing Nighthorse, accounts for his and Henry's presence on the airstrip

"If something shady is afoot with Austin that he's not telling me, I have no problem cutting him off, just like I want to cut off his ponytail beard."

Liz says what we're all thinking about Austin's strange facial hair preferences

"I'm not sure you were really authentic robbers in this [routine], but I guess across the weeks you've both stolen my heart."

"Don't encourage him: Just a polite handclap is all we need here, people."

Cat Deeley responds to Nigel Lythgoe's groan-inducing critique of Jaja and Hailee's "bank heist" dance