Quotes Of The Week For May 10, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from May 10 through May 16, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

VIDA

"He's either going to be Coach Taylor or that Lannister guy that died on the toilet. But I won't know 'til I know, you know?"

Lyn (Melissa Barrera) explains to Marcos why she wants to get to know the father she's just learned is alive and living nearby

UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT: KIMMY VS. THE REVEREND

"You're supposed to be doing cardio in five minutes."

"Cardio? The erotic magician I dated in the early 2000s?!"

Sorry, Jacqueline (Jane Krakowski), but Titus (Tituss Burgess) isn't familiar with your fancy fitness terms

DEAD TO ME (Episode 2)

"Am I dead? Did I die?"

Jen (Christina Applegate) is rendered relatively speechless when she and Judy are greeted at the front door by Steve's identical twin, Ben

BATWOMAN

"I trust her, Kate."

"I can't trust your judgment."

"Says the girl who went home with the bartender and left the key to destroying Gotham on the nightstand!"

Luke (Camrus Johnson) and Kate (Ruby Rose) get into a Bat-quarrel

AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE

"Taylor is an awesome teacher. If it wasn't for her, I'd still be rocking Velcro shoes."

"The trick was to say loops instead of bunny ears. Trip didn't like imagining tying bunny ears together."

"Because then he couldn't breathe."

Trip (Peyton Meyer), reminding us why we love him as much as Taylor (Meg Donnelly) does

STATION 19

"So... are we talking about it or drinking about it?"

Jack (Grey Damon), asking Andy the most rhetorical question ever

SINGLE PARENTS

"I'm done drinking forever... except for weekends and holidays and my birthday and Mondays, because Mondays are hard, you know?"

Angie (Leighton Meester), upon realizing that she'd drunkenly cuddled Will

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

"It was you the whole time!"

Jim the Vampire (Mark Hamill) finally sees through Jackie Daytona's toothpick disguise

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (Bonus Quote!)

"No, I wasn't actually trying to kiss Nadja. It's just that the Unwanted Kiss Rejection is one of the most awkward interactions you can have — and thus the most delicious form of energy draining. It was like a Thanksgiving feast. [chef's kiss]"

Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) feeds on lonely Nadja

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DEAD TO ME (Episode 7)

"I'm warning you: Watch yourself. 'Cause I sure as hell am."

"Well, you know what? Good! Go ahead and watch me! Because all you're gonna see is a good f—kin' person trying to do the right f—kin' thing all the time. And maybe I shouldn't, maybe that's where I go wrong, but I can't help myself 'cause it's in my stupid f—kin' nature! [looks out to the ocean] Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pick up those paper bags 'cause I don't want a seal to choke!"

Judy (Linda Cardellini) tries to prove to Det. Perez (Diana Maria Riva) that she's not the bad guy here

THE AT-HOME VARIETY SHOW

"Remember how pissed everyone was about the Gal Gadot 'Imagine' video? Well, we thought it would be a good idea to do that five nights a week, for a whole month, with lesser-known celebrities."

Host Seth MacFarlane gives a self-aware description of Peacock's remote fundraiser

SOLAR OPPOSITES (Episode 3)

"I am world-renowned magician Wilkins Micawber. I'm as famous as a magician can get — think the third Hemsworth brother."

Wilkins Micawber (voiced by Tom Kenny) has apparently achieved a moderate level of mainstream success

SOLAR OPPOSITES (Episode 4)

"My plan is to just slip into the seat, do nothing, then eventually, it'll seem normal that I'm there."

"It worked for Hulu!"

Jesse (voiced by Mary Mack) takes a swipe at Solar Opposites' own home when Yumyulack (Sean Giambrone) describes his plan to join the popular crowd at school

THE BLACKLIST

"Sir, I may have told Mr. Reddington about Birch."

"And what possessed you to do that?"

"Uh, a desire to, you know... live?"

Aram (Amir Arison) may have blabbed a lead to Red — but he had a good reason!