Quotes Of The Week For Oct. 22, 2017
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CONAN
"Bill O'Reilly revealed that he is mad at God for putting him through this scandal. Today, God refused to comment. Instead, she just laughed."
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THIS IS US
"No black man will ever be jealous of being auctioned. Hashtag American history."
Randall (Sterling K. Brown) has the perfect response when asked if he's jealous about Kevin getting auctioned off for a date at a charity event
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THIS IS US (Bonus Quote!)
"Oh, you thought I wanted to—"
"Uh, yeah! You said, 'Can I talk to you in your office?' That's how it always starts in the pornography that I... don't watch."
Kate (Chrissy Metz) gives Toby (Chris Sullivan) the wrong idea when paying him a visit at work
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WILL & GRACE
"Oh, for God's sake, don't cry. You look like Jeff Sessions watching a black man vote!"
Karen (Megan Mullally) to a tearful Beverley Leslie before his confession that he's gay
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RIVERDALE
"Polly, you're not a sinner."
"I'm an unwed mother carrying my cousin's babies. I am the poster child for sin, Betty!"
With the Blood Hood targeting sinners, Polly (Tiera Skovbye) knows she would be an ideal victim
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THE BRAVE
"You're tough. But you're a girl."
"Maybe I'm tough because I'm a girl."
Jaz (Natacha Karam) gives a young Nigerian girl someone to look up to
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THE WALKING DEAD
"You showed me how to be someone worth following."
"Good. After this, I'm following you."
Maggie (Lauren Cohan) and Rick (Andrew Lincoln), having a moment before setting off to do battle with Negan and the Saviors
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THE FLASH
"You have failed this city!"
Cisco (Carlos Valdes) channels a certain archer on the laser tag field
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THE FLASH (Bonus Quote!)
"How about something like, 'I'm sorry for blaming everything on you.' Or, 'I'm sorry for cursing at you'?"
"Yep. That's good. Pretend I said that."
"[Cisco sighs] I guess I'll take it where I can get it."
Cisco (Carlos Valdes) accepts that Harry (Tom Cavanagh) is no genius at contrition
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GREY'S ANATOMY
"You proposed to me with some other chick's necklace?!"
Megan (Abigail Spencer), upon learning that Nathan had cheated on her with the rightful owner of her "engagement necklace"
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THE VOICE
"... you were just like, 'Ha!' And it just went flying. The Jewish guy in me is like, 'Oh, I hope she didn't lose it.'"
Adam Levine, recapping the moment when, mid-Battle, contestant Janice Freeman "rocked her bangle off," as Miley Cyrus put it
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ONCE UPON A TIME
"And risk Mother finding out I did something to make you happy? I'd rather eat carbs."
Ivy (Adelaide Kane) letting Jacinda take Lucy out for Halloween would be no treat
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ONCE UPON A TIME (Bonus Quote!)
"It appears that I've found something much bigger than what's on those tapes... dearie."
Rumple (Robert Carlyle) is awake!
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THE BIG BANG THEORY
"At work we've been doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics."
"Neat! I've been rewatching The O.C., so we're all leading productive lives."
Amy (Mayim Bialik) and Penny (Kaley Cuoco) are keeping equally busy these days
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DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
"I look like I just robbed a bank."
"Or a costume store."
Ray's (Brandon Routh) 2042 "bad boy" look is more Halloween than outright scary
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SUPERSTORE
"It's like eating a birthday candle, only in a good way."
Garrett (Colton Dunn) describes the taste of candy corn
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GREAT NEWS
"You remember what it's like living in Manhattan: going out, getting wild, hooking up with the lead singer of Blues Traveler..."
"No. I told you that wasn't him."
"Well, it was some fat guy."
Jessica (Cecily Strong) is fairly certain Katie (Briga Heelan) never hooked up with Blues Traveler frontman John Popper
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ARROW
"You have horrible taste in music."
Diggle (David Ramsey) plays backseat DJ while protecting a shipment
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: CULT
"Last I heard, you were in a psych ward."
"Last I heard, you were an a—hole."
In a conversation with Kai (Evan Peters), Ally (Sarah Paulson) keeps her comebacks simple
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BLINDSPOT
"Backstreet's back, all right!"
Rich Dotcom (Ennis Esmer), upon learning that the original Jane Doe task force is reuniting
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THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT
"Internal strife is tearing the Republican Party apart at the seams. It's like a new Civil War, only this time, neither side is trying to help black people."
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THE GOOD PLACE
"Janet, what's a food that people think they enjoy but that's also kind of a bummer?"
"[without hesitating] Frozen yogurt."
As it turns out, Janet (D'Arcy Carden) is responsible for one of the most diabolical aspects of Michael's neighborhood